I'd never seen rain before like that day.
Rain that attacked the ground, rain that screamed as it pounded its fists against the wet ground. If I was superstitious, I almost would've said It was warning me.
Tugging the leather bag so It sat comfortably on my shoulders, I started moving forwards, letting the rain drip down my body until my limbs were numb and I couldn't feel the icy cold on my fingertips anymore. It was so warm at one point. And now a storm had erupted from the ashes and was pelting me from every direction, trying to tear away my warmth. I didn't understand how weather could change so quickly, the dire need for any kind of warmth or food the only thing pushing me on.
I had to prove myself. I refused to be so weak anymore. I wanted power.
And I think I deserved it too. I wanted so badly to be Kieran. To be admired. To have people that idolised me, not people who babied me and treated me like a child. So, using that, I ran at full speed directly into the forest. Cara's dagger clutched tightly at my side, an overwhelming feeling in my stomach encouraging me to do the only thing I could do to prove myself.
To kill.
And to be quite honest, I just didn't care anymore. I would've done anything in that moment for the power I so greatly craved. Like a drug. Out of the corner of my eye, something leapt behind me. Completely silent, but somehow, I knew exactly what I was doing. And before It could've been predicted, I was crouched down behind a tree with a steady heart and a smirk on my face. Twisting the dagger in my hands.
The deer wasn't frightened, Its first mistake. It ducked its head down and brought back up again some sort of weed which it chewed hungrily.
It was distracted, so it didn't see me when I pounced up behind it.
***
"Elodie!" I heard a voice shout behind me. A familiar face ran towards me and wrapped both arms around my chest. Warm hands took my face in them.
"Are you okay?" Lucas asked, checking over my body for injury.
"I'm fine, Luke." I giggled, "But I'm a little cold."
"No way." It was Kieran's voice I heard this time, who stared at the unmoving deer on the ground with awe in his voice. Shock evident in his eyes. Lucas turned around then, following his eye of sight and I watched as his jaw dropped and a large group started to gather around the carcass.
"This wasn't-"
Suddenly Cara was behind me, checking my body over herself. "Elle! I told you that shouldn't leave the building."
"What? You told me I should-"
"Oh well!" She smiled sweetly. "Let's take a photo! Ellie's first hunt."
"C, she doesn't like being called Ellie." Luke interrupted, walking next to me holding one of my fingers with his hand, squeezing it in comfort.
She turned back to me with that familiar sickly-sweet smile. "Oh, I'm sorry Elodie."
And then we were taking pictures. Lucas staying near me, Cara making every effort to be next to him, and not Kieran who had a confused look on his face at that point. I found it strange, I thought they were inseparable. It didn't take long, interruptions only consisting of a couple "Noah you had your eyes shut." From the back, and on one occasion "We need a retake, Luke's eyes came out red." Which caused him to go a certain red colour himself and cling onto my arm. I wasn't able to hide my smile.
Because I felt powerful in that moment. Not only had I hunted alone, but I had family beside me. And whatever Cara was up to, I seemed to have the upper hand. And I liked that. I really liked that.
***
It was Kieran that met me up on the roof of the building, when I'd had enough of the noise and celebrations and retreated for some peace and quiet. Strange, he must've been having the same thoughts. Climbing up the stairs and perching down next to me, his eyes still trained on the ground, he grinned at me and looked out upon the city skyline. Illuminating the roof like the glow of the moon which seemed to be shadowed by clouds.
"Flashbacks, huh?" He stated.
I scoffed. "You're cocky."
"And you looked amazing today, I almost didn't believe it when I saw the deer on the ground. You're strong."
I smiled, running my hands through my hair to move the excess pieces that had started to cover my face. But it was windy, and soon enough I was unsuccessful and he was chuckling as I spluttered with hair in my mouth.
Kieran put a finger on my cheek and tucked a stray hair behind my ear, and then he looked at me.
Different to how he'd ever looked at me before.
The same way Lucas looked at me the first day we met.
"Kieran-" I started to say, leaning away from him and sighing.
"Elodie, who are you?" He whispered, just as the noise of birds dulled and the stars started to glimmer in the sky. The background of the city lights the only light source we had.
I didn't reply.
He fell asleep up there, curled up. Not touching me, but he might as well have been.
Yet there were million thoughts running around my head. A 10k marathon that never seemed to end.
For starters, I didn't have a clue who I could trust.
And last of all, It felt like I was playing in a board game. Or even, I was a pawn in a chess game. A game between Lucas and Kieran. Where at any second I might tip over the edge and always seemed to only ever be leaning towards one side temporarily, a ship rocking in place in a stormy ocean.
I think my head was so disorientated for one reason.
I was falling for two people, and I didn't have a clue what to do about it.