I give you my heart so what you gonna do with it
After some time went by working at Waffle house, it started to feel more at home. Me and him started to get closer and closer the more I got a chance to engage with him. It was like he would make me laugh and smile everytime I saw him. By this time I've started learning alot about him; I had learned that he was 32 years old with kids and 2 babby mommas, which was shocking to hear cause he look so youthful. I ain't gone lie hearing he had kids was intimidating at first cause me being 24 years old with no kids, I have no experience with kids. I slowly started to build the confidence to ask him out on a date; I decided to ask him out in card. So I bought him a card one night telling him how much I appreciated him with $20 in it. That night when I decided to do it, I went to the normal shift he usually works, which is night shift, to give it to him but apparently he called out that night. So I kept the card with me for the next time I was gone see him but again he pulled a disappearing act on me cause he would either call out or be working at another location. I soon found out there was a hurricane heading towards us and the city was evaluating. With no home, I decided to leave Pensacola before the hurricane hit; putting aside my plans of asking him out on date. I went to my grandparents house in Selma for a week before I came back to Pensacola. The night I came back I parked my truck in my usual spot and went to sleep for the night. I was awoken by someone calling my name and when I got up to see who it was it was him. I was so excited to see him after I haven't heard from him in weeks; apparently he needed a ride home that night. I thought I was dreaming that night cause I was not expecting to see him so soon. So I took him home and we reconnected and I finally had a chance to give him the card and money that I've been trying to for the longest. He was so happy for his little appreciation gift that I gave him and he told me he was gone come into work early the next day to help out which made me happy to get a chance to work with him again. The next day we were supposed to work together he called the store saying he didn't have a ride; I decided to help him out by getting him a uber to work. The couple of hours we worked together was magical, I feel like we really bonded together and I found out his birthday was coming up soon. Because I felt really confident in how well we bonded at work I decided to write a note to him that night telling him how I felt about him. At that time I thought I knew what love was but shiddd that was just infatuation compared to the feelings I have for him now. I was so nervous giving him the letter that I just handed it to him and walked off because I was so afraid on how he would respond to it. We got pretty busy for the remaining of the shift, he didn't say anything about the note I gave him and I didn't mention it. It was like we were pretending it never happened. I got off work before him and I had to take another coworker home that night. After dropping off my coworker I took a couple hits of her blunt and built up the confidence to go back to the store to ask him how he really felt about the note. I drove back to my job and went inside the restaurant which was pretty busy at that time but I didn't care and proceeded to loudly ask him, "how do he really feel about me", telling him to be 100 and keep it real about it. He never responded back to me, he continued to cook and was smiling. So I decided to sit at one of the tables initiating that I wasn't going anywhere until he confess up. He finally came to talk to me and basically told me we were cool. Confused as hell by his remark, I just left and assumed he was friend zoning me. We continued our friendship as nothing happened but I still had these feelings towards him and was still confused on how he responded back to the note. I decided to buy him a custom marble birthday cake for his birthday and gave it to him at work. That same cake remained in the job fridge for about 2 weeks untouched except for the slice I had cut for myself. Seeing that cake still at work untouched by him brought out my abandonment insecurities and had me feeling very emotional cause I took the time out to get it for him.