What a complicated platonic friendship I have involved myself in 🤦🏾♂️"
A couple weeks has passed since I have given him his birthday cake. I came to work one day and the cake was finally gone from the work fridge; I was curious on what happened to it but relieved that it was finally out of my sight. A couple days before the cake vanished I had asked him to throw the cake away if he didn't want it cause at that point I was tired of seeing it and getting in my feelings about it. I honestly felt like he didn't appreciate the cake I got him because everytime I would ask him why he haven't touched it yet, his excuse always was he been too busy. Because of that I decided to not take our friendship too serious and move on. One random day I got an unexpected call from him; he ask me if I could pick him up and take him somewhere. I didn't know how to feel about it cause I still felt some type of way about him not really valuing the cake I bought him for his birthday but I figured it was a chance for me to really get inside his head to see how he feel about me. So I went to go pick him up and we ended up making more stops than I expected. I decided to write another note to him but this time I wanted to be more direct and clear on my feelings for him so he could give me a more direct answer than before. I gave him the note with confidence and patiently waited for what he was gone say after he read it. I was so nervous about what he was gone say, but after reading it he basically told me he wasn't into guys like that and didn't see me in that way. I was so confused on why he couldn't just tell me that from the start when I wrote him the first note because it would have saved me from the emotional confusion. So I respected his answer and told him thanks for being direct with me; now I knew how to move forward with him. So after I dropped him off I knew not to take him any more serious than a friend; but apparently that wasn't the end, who would've thought that was the beginning of a new bond for me and him. After that day I started hanging out and talking to him more than before. After giving him that note I was expecting that we would start to be more distance but instead we got even closer to the point where I would start revolving my days around him; slowly losing myself as I fell deeper in love. I got a chance to meet his mom and 4 of his kids and bonded with them. Now I feel like I got myself involved in a complicated situation where I feel a connection between us but its like our relationship is remaining stagnant. I have never felt this way towards anyone, I literally think about him all the time and have this deep urge to just serve and fulfill all his needs. I would love to move in a new direction with him but it seem like its not going anywhere soon. Now I feel jaded on what I should do because I can't continue to give all my time to this person, suppressing my love when the love is only going to grow stronger. I expressed multiple times to him how I felt but he steady saying he don't see me in that way when I feel otherwise. I'm a firm believer that the people you meet in life are not coincidences, there's always a deeper purpose and growing opportunity of a lesson or blessing. And here I am going crazy trying to figure his purpose in mines; which is why I decided to write this short story on my experience.