I threw my shield around the three of us—me, Athena, and Hillary. Although, for what good it did Hillary now was beyond me.
I blew out a shuddery breath, trying to take in the entire battlefield. Thousands of demons, it seemed, surrounded us. But some of them fought on our side, apparently, courtesy of Sebastian. Luca was working hard, seeing that I was okay. He had his own saber in his hands now, swinging it from side to side, sweat and blood coating his skin. I knew he was aware of me, aware of where I was and what I did without so much as turning toward me. The same way I knew he was okay. Tired, but okay.
I couldn't see Griffin, any of him actually, in the middle of the chaos, but I assumed he was okay. Sebastian had gone back to fighting, throwing demons left and right as he wielded that saber, the sliver of sun peeking through the clouds throwing rainbows across the field. How not fitting.
And beside me, Hillary was still on top of Athena—whose eyes had gone big and wide. She didn't move.
Killing demons were one thing—but lifting a dead human off of my cousin was another.
I turned my head to the side and threw up the donuts I had for breakfast. They spilled out of me with a horrible retching sound and burning in my throat. One casualty. So far, we had one.
One horrible, horrible casualty.
It made sense why Hillary had been hanging around so much—she had seen her death. It was why she hated me. My carelessness, my utter lack of uselessness had caused her death. Had I even been remotely trained at something, none of this would've happened.
My breathing hitched.
I was not fearless like Athena.
I was neither strong nor brave like Luca.
I was not a fighter like Sebastian.
I was not sacrificial like Hillary.
I was both nothing and nobody.
But I had let myself get tricked into thinking being a Guardian meant something. That maybe this would come naturally, and that, when it mattered most, I'd be able to use my power. I had become unrealistic. I lived in a fantasy world where God and the angels would come down from Heaven and help us succeed.
The world didn't work like that.
I sunk to my knees and threw up again.
And again.
And again.
My best friend hadn't died, yet I was reacting worse than Athena. Seeing Hillary dead… it made this real. This was no longer a bad dream or a hopeful adventure. This was real life, and we had spent the majority of it fumbling around for answers. I had spent it wrapped up in Luca and love and adventure when I should've been taking myself more seriously on how to throw a punch. How to hold my shield longer. How to do anything but worry about a stupid relationship.
Around me, the battle raged on. My shield remained firmly in place.
Covering my face with my hands, I sobbed, becoming completely undone. I should hand myself to Mother now before anyone else could die. I couldn't live with myself if Athena perished, or if Luca did. What if Sebastian died, and I had to face my cousin afterward and see the devastation on her face when she lost two people she loved, while her father remained in the hospital, status unknown?
My chest heaved.
I emptied my stomach again before falling over and curling into the ground. The snow dug into my clothes, but it didn't matter anymore. Let me freeze to death. But also let me live. I was so stupid to go into this with optimism. Not everyone could survive. And looking at this battlefield, none of us could survive.
"Clare, help me," Athena said, her quiet voice breaking through my break down. "Please."
No tears in her voice.
I flinched at the sound—strong, almost silent. Why couldn't I be like her? I was useless, utterly useless, so damn useless. Luca should've let Griffin sacrifice me. He should've let him.
"Clare."
Athena barked my name, causing me to turn my head to her. Hillary was spilling blood onto Athena's clothes, half on top of her, half off. Athena winced. "My arm—I think it's broken," she explained. "Can you get her off of me?"
Touch Hillary? "She's dead," I whispered, a tear sliding down my cheek. Cold. It was cold, and my beanie had fallen off at some point. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't—I thought—it's—"
"Yes, Hillary is dead," Athena responded, "but she didn't die saving us for you to lie down in the snow like a little bitch. Clare, we have to get up."
Her words registered, but they didn't. Hillary never liked me. She would've let me die if the world didn't count on me living. She died to save Athena, which was so important because Athena contributed to this world. She could actually fight and defend herself. Athena was a Guardian in everything but the Oath, and I was Clare Adele Walker. A nobody. A nothing.
Useless.
Useless.
"Clare, if you don't get up, Luca and everybody else we even sort of like is gonna die," Athena pleaded. "I just lost my best friend, and I'm scared, but I can't give up. We have to save the world."
Nothing made sense. We didn't have to do anything. She had to get up. I was going to lay here until it was over, covered by my shield. If I tried to help, tried to do anything, someone else would die.
"Think about Chloe," Athena tried. "If you lay here, who protects Chloe?"
Chloe. She was in the hospital. Also my fault.
"Fine, then at least twist your ring and get the hell outta here if you won't help," Athena snapped. Slowly, she moved her broken arm, trying to get Hillary off it. Howling in pain, Athena managed to free herself of her dead best friend.
My ring. I could use it—but I couldn't move. I stared at her. "All my fault," I mumbled, tucking my legs up closer to me. The cold had made me numb—or maybe it was the dead body lying next to me. The first I had seen that was young. The first person I personally knew that was my age and had died. The first horrific death I had seen that wasn't in a movie.
Athena pushed herself up with her good arm, the broken one hanging loosely at her side. Blood splattered across her face. Half her clothes were ripped, and she limped over to me with a dark look. "This will be our life from now on if you don't get up," she all but growled. "Look at me."
I met her eyes, the unwavering determination in them. Broken arm, twisted ankle and all—Athena was going to get back up and keep fighting until her last breath.
"This battle isn't even a fourth of what the world will look like if we get ourselves killed, okay?" She squatted down, good hand out. "We owe it Hillary to keep fighting. We owe it to our ancestors to make the Walker family name mean something again. We owe it to ourselves."
I eyed her hand but didn't move. Could I leave the world in this condition?
"Clare, I just lost my best friend, okay?" Her voice broke. "And I—I can't lose you, too. I need you at my back, whether you can pick that damn saber up and swing it or not. I need your strength."
"For your arm?" I asked, already reaching for her hand.
Athena needed me. Chloe needed me. My parents needed me. Luca, who was getting his ass kicked out there, needed me. I needed myself.
She shook her head. "No, dummy." She helped me up, her hand cold and bloody, but everything was bloody out here. "I need you to keep me going."
I let her pull me up to my feet, taking a long, steadying breath. I lifted my hand for Truth-seeker, and I saw her do the same with Trespasser. Our sabers flew to us, glowing. Samuel crowed.
If I was useless, I wouldn't have been born to this family.
No lack of training would prevent me from saving the world today.
"That was very sentimental of you," I told Athena with a grin. I gripped Truth-seek tighter, ready to fight. One last hurrah. For the world.
"Never mention it again," she growled. "On the count of three, drop this shield, and let's get to work."
My hand trembled. "Wouldn't it be better to use your power from within the shield?"
"Oh, of course." She stared at the demons surrounding us, feet away from the shield to avoid being burned to pieces. At least sixty of them. "But these next few kills are gonna be personal."
Oh, brother.
But what I could do? If something happened to Bella, I'd go to the end of the world to find the person that did it. "Your arm—" I didn't get to finish my sentence. I dropped the shield, peeling it back as Athena charged forward, a yell ripping from her that sounded close to the noises Luca, Sebastian, and Greed often made.
My shield snapped back into me, and I got ready to kick some damn ass.
I thought battles were quick—especially this kind, but they weren't. Even as the numbers disappeared, as the bodies either disintegrated or turned to flames, everybody kept going. Including me.
Life became slash shield slash shield slash shield until the demons started to stay away from me. When I could, I defended my friends, throwing shields around them, stabbing demons in the back. I caught Sebastian surrounded by enemies with his saber laying on the ground, and I took out three before Athena joined us.
Apparently, her power helped her heal faster because both of her arms were in tip-top strength. She also had the most energy, whirling and kicking, ducking and dodging, slitting throats, and using her power to take them out.
We weren't winning, but we weren't losing either.
But we were tired. Outnumbered—even the demons on our side were dwindling—we wouldn't be able to last much longer. Griffin was already behind me, taking a break within in my shield, only one of him. I had lost sight of Sebastian, but I knew he wasn't far behind Athena. Luca was in my line of vision, but he was a hundred feet away from me.
"Griffin, I can't hold it much longer," I told him.
He sucked in breaths, blood coming from a gash in his arms. "And we can't hold this fight much longer," he wheezed, hands on his knees. "You need to use that ring."
Not until Athena did.
I wasn't running from destiny.
There was a reason Athena and I had been selected to return the honor to the Walker name, and it wasn't running.
"Now is not the time to be prideful," Griffin fussed, pulling himself to give me a look. "I know you think staying here to fight is noble, but it's the stupidest thing you could do. If you die, it ruins—"
A lightning bolt came from the sky.
Griffin jumped, surprised. He tilted his head to the sky. "God?"
I whipped my head to him. "Do you really think God—"
"Lilith is back. Anything is possible," he said drily.
We looked at the spot where the electricity had struck. It had been cleared out of the demons that had been there. Instead, I saw a gorgeous lime-green haired girl and her stoic faced husband next to her. She grinned, her whip crackling in her hands.
Now that was a cool power. And even better entrance.
Not God, Elias said, his purring voice wrapping into my thoughts, and I'm sure He'd be offended if He knew you said that.
Griffin laughed. "Bastard," he said. "Well, Clare, looks like we have a fighting chance again."
I smiled. "We always had a fighting chance, Griffin."
I met up with Athena on the other side of the battlefield. She grinned at me. "Where's the shield, pumpkin?"
Maybe God hadn't directly come down to save us, but He definitely sent Honor and Elias. With them, the fight became a little more bearable. Apparently, his power wasn't limited to just mimicking that of his siblings—he could also do any power. With practice, of course. That being said, Hillary had given us one last hurrah by showing him her power and teaching him how to use it.
Hillary.
I hadn't liked her, but I sure hadn't wanted her dead. She was important to Athena, and I knew life wouldn't be the same.
I gave her a tired smile back. "I have no shield left in me." And it was true. I had exhausted my shield until nothing remained. I couldn't feel it. I was exhausted, my power was exhausted, and my body felt like I was dragging it through wet cement. Yet, I fought on, thankful that Honor and Elias were near us.
"You know, this power isn't so bad. It's like I'm riding a high right now," she responded, bringing her saber down on a demon's arm. It roared as we double-teamed it, me swinging at its knees. "I wish I could pass some on to—dammit!" A demon appeared in front of her, clipping her on the shoulder.
Swearing, I launched myself at it.
It moved out of the way, and I barely scraped its arm. I did, however, come to the ankles of Luca, who hauled me up with one hand. "Try to make contact next time," he teased, spinning and delivering a hit.
Ass, I thought with a smile, turning back to Athena, who used her knife now. She slashed at the demon, staying out of the way of its hits. Athena looked like she was having too much fun as she danced from side to side, leaping out of the way.
Having no time for her games, I waited until the demon was completely distracted by her before shoving my saber through its back.
"Took you long enough," she muttered as it fell forward. "How much longer will this last?"
I shrugged as we saw more demons coming this way—these on our side, though. "Until everyone is dead?" I asked. "On their side, of course."
"Of course." She narrowed her eyes, looking at something in the distance. "Sebastian!"
One second Athena was there, and the next she was moving impossibly fast past me. Her arms pumped as she raced across the battlefield, leaping over fallen bodies and limbs. She was a blur, as fast as Sebastian and Luca. Faster than Griffin.
I followed her gaze to where Sebastian was on the ground, surrounded by demons, no weapon in sight.
Please, I thought, begging my shield to come forward. But nothing.
I didn't have the energy to run after her.
She can't lose him, too.
No one else was around, so I watched in horror as Athena threw herself at those demons with reckless abandon.
But Sebastian jumped up. The demons went flying into the air, and a blast of fire hit them.
With them, about half the other demons remaining disappeared.
Luca breathed a sigh of relief as the three he battled disappeared. "Multiplier demons. If you kill the original, you kill the copies." He stumbled back to me, hands trembling with exhaustion. "Are you hurt?"
Did we have time for conversation? A break, maybe, as the remaining enemies tried to regroup. Not many were left. Compared to what we had before anyway.
"They��re about to give up in three… two…." Before he could say 'one,' a lone lightning strike lit the ground where the demons tried to scurry back. It split the ground in half, sending them falling into the hole. Luca looked at me. "It's over, Clare."
I breathed a sigh of relief and sunk to my knees. No, it wasn't over, not completely, but today we had made it through. A sob erupted from my chest as the remaining demons started to disappear.
Luca rubbed my back and kissed my bloody hair. "We need to go find the others. Thank Elias and Honor. Talk to Sebastian," he said into my ear, but he was on his knees next to me, not letting me go.
"I love you," I said because I hadn't said it enough. "I love you so much."
He chuckled. "I love you more."
Whoops reached our ears. I heard celebrating, but I wanted to stay right there, blood, limbs, snow, and all.
We won.
We won.
We—
Hillary's face appeared behind my eyes. No, we hadn't won at all. Not all of us.
"A troubling loss," Luca said, "but she knew the sacrifice she had to make, and she'd do it again."
I swallowed my tears. I had to get to Athena. Give my cousin a hug and keep her together.
Luca helped me up, and we surveyed the destruction—but not for long. Apparently, all demons didn't turn to ash. The cracks in the ground had closed up, too. I tucked my head into Luca's chest.
"Athena is—"
I heard the scream just as I felt it. One last, lingering demon—one that had been on our side earlier, I recognized—reached for Athena. The demon grabbed her arm, pulling her back toward her, but before she could fully grab her, Griffin leaped, knocking Athena down. The demon disappeared, taking Griffin with it.
Athena remained sprawled on the ground, Sebastian hovering over her.
"Want to go home?" Luca asked, as Honor and Elias appeared in front of us.
And I knew, without him having to say it, that home was New Orleans.
I took a final look at Athena. I needed to see my family. I would talk to her tomorrow.
"Please."
Honor kissed the top of my head, yawning as we stood in front of my house an hour later, clean and presentable. I needed to sleep, I needed to eat, but first I wanted to see my little sister and my mom and my dad.
"See you tomorrow," she said. Oh yeah, tomorrow. When we would get together and start a plan. Find the Sins, find the Guardians. Figure out how to kill Mother. Lilith.
I hadn't had time to wrap my head around that yet.
I made a kissing sound back as she let me go. "Be safe tonight."
"During which part?" She winked, giggling as Elias grabbed her hand with an eye roll, sending them off.
In the silence of the night, Luca grabbed my hand. We have a long road ahead of us, he said.
I nodded. "Yeah," I answered aloud, looking at my house. The lights were still on. Chloe would be sleeping off the meds, on Thanksgiving break. Dad would be on his phone, texting my uncle about the shop. Mom would be making breakfast or doing yoga. None of them would expect me, or my incredibly hot boyfriend, to walk in.
A good surprise was needed in my life. The other surprises I had received lately had broken me.
He tugged me forward, using his free hand to adjust his clothing. Luca had gone for his usual style of dress, sans suspenders. He hadn't had time to iron his shirt like he wanted to because I had rushed us out of the house. "You think your parents are going to like me?"
"I like you. Sometimes anyway."
He pinched my hip. "You liked me a lot earlier." My head was flooded with images of last night, his tongue not missing a single inch of my skin.
"That's the 'sometimes.'"
The second I stepped into my driveway, I knew something was wrong. I froze, wishing I had brought the saber with me. Or anything but this puny knife. Not that I had the energy to really use either.
"Clare," Luca warned, but I had dropped his hand. Whether it was a trap or not, I had to save my family.
A Guardian protects humans.
I had failed Chloe before. Twice.
I twisted my doorknob. Locked. Luca came forward and broke it off, and we pushed into the hallway. "Mom? Dad?" I called. Luca's eyes widened, as he nodded his head silently toward the right. The living room.
Adrenaline pushed me forward, and I burst into the living room in time to see a demon plunge a sword right through Chloe's heart.
We hadn't won at all.
I shattered as I realized the God-awful truth.
Athena and I were never the only targets.