"Hey Lucy-Lu..."
"Uhhh... it's your dad...."
"Listen I know...that I'm probably the last person you want to be hearing from...the very last."
"But um.. well let's just say the prison system works something awful. Hehe... Eh.. well."
"During my time I got to thinking..how I was never really fair to you.. I want to make it all right. If that's okay with you of course.. .. so..."
"Give me a call back.."
__________
The consistent tapping of Lucy's shoe to the ground didn't make her feel any less of a nervous rack. Although it did help her distract herself from the obvious and odious feeling of death in the building.
Why did they make hospitals so goddamn unappealing to look at. If it's gonna be a place where someone dies, wouldn't you want the last thing a patient sees to be more pleasant that a white wall? Patients see the bright light before and after death in a hospital with these innate active bulbs they have stationed in every light in the building.
Lucy's thoughts were about to go to the uncomfortable chairs she's been having to lounge on for the last seven hours, but a man in a white coat came along and stood in front of her expectantly.
"Lucy?" He clarified it was her.
"Yeah?" She stopped tapping her foot momentarily. The doctor looked down at her, "You're grandfather wasn't damaged by the fall but by his heart going into cardiac arrest, for a man of his medical record it was a surprise that this had not happened at least a year beforehand. We can thank that he lived past expectancy.."
"Lived?" She looked at him fearfully.
The doctor looked down at his clipboard with a grievous sigh as he took his small spectacles off to address the situation a little more seriously, if possible. He looked back up at her, "We we're lucky enough to get him back on life support, but you see we only do this for patience to say goodbye to their loved ones. There's nothing we can do to improve his health, but to give him this.."
Lucy felt like she was choking on air trying to hold back her sobs. She blinked a couple times and cleared her throat, "Y-you're sure?"
"You should be proud. Your grandfathers a fighter-"
"I appreciate what you're trying to do here sir, but I'm not proud that my grandfather is dying. Okay? In fact I can't say anyone could be proud of a family member dying-especially when he's all I had left of my moth—" she took a deep breath to calm her nerves and released after a couple minutes before looking at him, "If you would please be so kind as to point me in the direction of his room I'd like to be alone with him." She said quieter.
The doctor pushed his spectacles back on and ushered her to the way of her grandfather.
Once there, she darted to the chair closest to him, pulling it up just a little closer to him like a child and sat on her knees to get even closer, if possible. She took his hand desperately in hers, clenching it for the life of her, and holding it to her chest. The doctor didn't wait and went out into the hall to give her all the time she needed.
Lucy looked down at her unrespondant grandfather and back down at his bed to avoid ruining what she remembered of him.
"Papa.." she croaked. She cleared her throat a couple times to stay strong. She had cried many times in her lifetime. But she wasn't going to now. Not when this was her only chance to talk with him again, she wasn't going to spend it crying. Not today.
"Papa," she said more clearly, "I want you to know that I intended for you to get better, I swear I did.." she cleared her throat again curtly, "..If I had known I wouldn't have left the house, you have to know-" she stopped and took a shaky breath. She could hear that stupid heart monitor machine and the slower it got the more nervous and pressured she felt to speed things along herself.
But it wasn't fair. This was her grandfather. This was her guardian. Her guardian angel.
"You were never a grandpa.. to me. Never." She admit and stroked his veiny hand gently. "Never.." she sighed. She looked up at him briefly before looking back down at his hands. The same hands her little ones would grasp onto whenever she sat next to him watching televisions or grasp on to whenever he read the morning paper.
"You were the last glimpse of mother that I got to see.. before everything changed. And I'm always great full I got to see it everyday since then.." she took another deep breath; exhaling she continued, "Papa you were a mother, and a father, and my only friend-" she hiccuped. She sighed and wiped her nose with her other hand. "You took care of me for years... it just doesn't seem fair that I didn't get to pay back the favor..." she sniffed.
"You know, the doctor said you were practically living past your expiration date. You were fighting..." she looked at his face finally and sadly spoke, "You were fighting for me weren't you..Why'd you have to go and do that.." she breathe out a sad sigh, "I'm fine Papa.. I'm fine..." she whispered more to herself, "You didn't have to go and do that for me..." she looked down. Sniffing and wiping her nose yet again she was finding it hard to keep herself together. "That's not fair you old coot.." she chuckled sadly her eyes watering, "Now it's time to do right by you.. and take care of you.." she sighed, "To finally give back what you've given to m-me.." she breathed unsteadily, "Y-you took away my pain... and now-now, I'm going to take away yours... okay Papa." She wiped her eyes. She sighed gently and rested her head on his lap; holding his hand tightly still.
"Just let me sit here with you... just a little while longer.." she sniffed and covered her face with her other hand.
_______________
"Patty, honey, did you hear?" Babette hurried over to the open dance studio, where Miss Patty was taking a leisurely smoke.
"Probably." She puffed out.
Babette shook her head quickly, "No, you haven't-" she said, "Bob Miller died yesterday." She pat her arm.
Miss Patty gasped, "No.."
"Yes," Babette nodded persistently. "God rest just soul.." Miss Patty trailed off. "Oh but Little Lucy-"
"That's the new news, sugar, Lucy went ahead and paid for his funeral the same day. Cremation and everything. She had no service no nothing, it was a surprise anybody had heard anything."
"Oh my god, a funeral all on her own, the poor child. She must be exhausted, if I had known.."
"Don't be. She didn't want anyone there." Babette said simply. Miss Patty looked at her confused, "Well don't you think people want to pay their respects? I mean Bob was a kind fellow to the people of Stars Hollow. And he did a fine job raising Genevieve in this town, and Lucy." She said, "We all knew and loved Robert.." she said a little perturbed.
"Family wishes," Babette tossed her hands up in the air, "It's what she wanted."
"That poor girl." Miss patty sighed before taking a drag from her long cigarette pipe. "Do you think the father knows?" She finally asked as she puffed out.
"How could he?"
"Well darling, obviously you hadn't heard.." she trailed off. "What?" Babette insisted. "Mr. James Miller himself is back in town somewhere. Staying in a room at the Stars Hollow Apartment complex."
"No!" Babette gasped.
"Yes," Patty said, "And what's worse is he wishes to reconnect with the girl, I had seen him walking by the house one afternoon just a few days ago."
"How'd he look? Suspicious? Lurking?"
"Quite the opposite," she said with raised brows, "He was cleaner and more polished than anything I've won in my trophy case." She said smoking again. Babette was in awe. "Really." She shook her head.
"He came right up to the door knocked and everything. Like a real gentlemen. I swear I thought I was in the Twilight Zone, watching his strapping self walk around town like that, like nothing was wrong. He look like he did the day he stepped into Stars Hollow when he met late Genevieve." She swore.
"My god. Should we tell the neighborhood watch?" She asked. "I know my Morey and I would shake him up good if he crossed our paths. Make it look like an accident, the whole shabang."
Miss Patty chuckled, "Well bring it up to the watch, but as for any close encounters go, I'd say it's good if there aren't any. Let's just hope he doesn't intend to stay." She said before smoking another puff and letting it out.
"Well, nice talking with ya Sugar, I've got to get more cat food for my little baby. You'll call me if you hear anything?"
"The moment it happens," Patty swore as Babette nodded and waddled off to Doose's Market.
________
"It's just-a lot to handle, you know? I mean. I'm an adult. I was an adult for a good 3 years now, and I can't seem to get over the fact that- I never really was an adult until now. Like-like I just had to put my grandfather in a furnace like a fresh fucking pizza, and instead of getting something happy and satisfying-I got a depressing vase with his ashes in it. And contrary to the fucking books, there were no reincarnations of him popping out of it-" Lucy bit her nails, "Funeral was easy, just used some money that I had stowed away for a rainy day-and well-this was as rainy as it gets you know-fucking hurricane, ya know. That was no problem. Just-just now what happens when the bills for the house-and the electricity and shit come along -I don't know how to do that-"
"Lucy. Im just your therapist." The man readjusted his glasses as he scribbled onto his notepad. "Now given the circumstances being the way they are, I can see that as far as finances go you would be enable to pay in the future. Nonetheless we'll cross that bridge when we get there." He said, "As far as your grandfather goes, this could be seen as turning a negative into a positive. You said so yourself you weren't really being independent until he passed away. Therefore realizing that you relied on others for so long. Now it's come the task to do things for yourself. Now I'm going to give you some anxiety medication to keep your nerves down and keep you level headed. But I would also like to turn you to this website here. It's great for contacting any mortgage questions you might have. If you have further questions on that I suggest google, Miss Miller."
Lucy looked at him in completely and utterly in disbelief. She took the piece of paper he ripped out of the pad and got up. She wanted to smack him or at least give him the finger. But what would that do. She shook her head and went on with the rest of her day, heading out of the building and on her way to her job interview for the music shop down the street. She remember Lane worked there a couple months in high school and hoped that she could just as easily get the job.
She speed walked onto the sidewalk and hurried into the music shop when she was knocked down by the door opening for her. She rubbed her forehead where she had gotten assaulted and looked up.
Jess paused. He tried not to laugh but quickly made a seriously concerned face, "Oh-Lucy-I swear I didn't see you-" he said trying to suppress the chuckles he was hiding as he went to help her up.
"Yeah right." She said getting up and dusting herself off.
"No I mean it you got to believe me." He smiled small and moved to check her and if she was okay. She stepped back instinctively. Jess stopped, "Are you okay?"
"No Jess I'm not okay, you just hit me with a door!" She snapped.
Jess frowned, "Jeez, sorry. It really was just an accident." He said his hands up in defense. Lucy eyes him down as she goes to reopen the door and walk in.
"Sorry for your loss." He called to her. She stopped and looked at him. "What?" She said.
He looked at her and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Sorry for your loss.." he said, "Never met the guy. But. Doesn't make losing someone any easier." He said.
Lucy looked at him. She felt that comment could be looked at two of both ways. The way it what it was what he said. And the other where he was meaning her instead of her grandfather.
"Didn't meant to strike a chord. Just. Sorry." He said before slowly going to turn and walk away. Lucy watched him walk off before going back inside to start her interview.
_______
"Hi Lucy Lu.. this is your dad again.."
"I came by the house the other day. Wanted to see if I could catch you before you were off to work but.. guess not."
"Just called to see if you had considered talking... or at least looking at me...."
"I know I don't deserve it but.. you deserve a daddy, and I haven't been a good one."
"I just want to make things right with you and the family... especially you."
"Call me back... please."