Just as Jess was getting off of work he managed to spot Lucy walking around. She looked nervous as she was pacing back and forth in front of a building. She seemed to be peering in the window before he finally looked at the logo of said store.
Stars Hollow Apartments.
A new experiment Taylor was trying to get tourists to stay, make Stars Hollow the new Big Apple. It wasn't going to happen and that small sad apartment complex would be turned into another antique store or book shop like all the other expired experiments he had tried cooking up years prior. Nonetheless it would trickle some business while it was heaving breaths.
He looked as she finally walked in the door. He nodded getting his apron off and setting it underneath the counter on a shelf before coming back up. His eyes happened back on that spot she once was just in time for him to see her rush out of the building.
A mere two seconds. Astonishingly quick visit.
He hurried outside before crossing the street and walking up to her as casually as he could make it seem. "What are you doing?" He asked curiously.
She was only momentarily shocked to see him there before replying, "Trying new things I guess." She breathed out like she was getting ready to jump off a cliff with no parachute.
"Like if the doors work?" He asked foreboding to having seen her walk in and out at least once. No doubt she had been doing this for a bit longer than he had seen.
She looked at him and shrugged. "My therapist says it's good for me." She shrugged. "Testing doors." He clarified his eyebrows raised. She punched his shoulder lightly. He chuckled and mocked some brief hurt before looking down at her. "How is it that every-time I run into you you're doing something ridiculous." He asked.
"How do you know it's ridiculous?"
"Your face tells me." He looked her in the eyes.
"Every-time?" She asked her head cocked to the side. He nodded gently "every-time." He repeated.
"Maybe that's your curse. You can never catch me on a good day can you?" She tested. He smiled, "I did yesterday." He commented. She purses her lips briefly before looking back at him. "Looking to buy?" He gestured his eyes to the apartment building.
"Yeah, for you." She replies nonchalantly, "So you can stop living with your uncle in a two bedroom closet of an apartment."
"Worked well for the Ingalls." He retorted sarcastically.
"Why aren't you moving up in your life?" She asked him.
"Why are you changing the subject?" He asked their faces closer.
"I didn't change the subject." She frowned. "You definitely did." He nodded. "No," she said, "I ignored a stupid question."
"Allow me to do the same." He said quickly before gently taking her shoulder and ushering her away from the building. "What are you doing Jess." She groaned.
"Running into you on a good day." He smiled. "How so?" She asked.
"You're gonna go home and tonight we're going to run into each other. And I expect within those six hours you have something exciting to say." He said letting go of her to move on her way.
"But-"
"Go on." He shoved her playfully. She continued to move on not realizing that she was just given some relief from patrolling the apartment her dad was in.
That just postponed the inevitable though, she knew some day she would have to face him, and get through this "irrational fear." And in some irony she found a growth of a new fear in that as well.
____________
Six hours later, and nothing had happened. A real shocker in the exciting town of Stars Hollow. She looked around her room to get ready for whatever Jess had picked for them to scavenge around for. She could never fully prepare herself when she was around Jess. And as she thought of all their conversations she was always left with him running circles around her. Talking to him was dizzying and exciting at the same time.
She sat down on her bed as she looked through her purse. She always checked for her mace every time she went out. A precaution her grandpa insisted she had. She found it along with her hand getting tangled in some wires. She pulled them out before seeing it was her earbuds and her iPod attached as well.
She slowly traced the edges of the device before clicking it on hesitantly. It was almost instinctual the feeling she had to put her earbuds back in the coziness of her ears. But she stopped herself short.
This is what her therapist would call a crutch. Something she leaned on to make her feel better when really it only helped you to walk a little. She should get rid of it. Show her progress. She nodded and got up to toss it in the trash. But as she moved to let it go it couldn't seem to leave her hands. Her grip just wouldn't soften. She sighed.
She just wanted to be better. Whatever better was. And so far everyone else has been seeing improvement so why should she need this. As long as she was doing what the doctor said she thought she would be okay. At least she trusted the doctors opinion. He was the professional after all. Subconsciously she put the music player back in her purse and got up to leave.
She met Jess in the middle of the town; thanking god she didn't have to do much looking to find him seeing as he didn't give a location.
"What is this Jess." She said sensing a scheme in play by him.
He smirked. "Stars are out, moon is half full-"
"And the crickets are singing-get on with it-" she sighed. He smiled knowingly before handing over to her a binding of what was about a thousand pages. She stopped her breath short and took it from his hands. She flipped through it quickly before looking at the title page. Just seeing "By Jess Mariano" on any piece of paper was exciting for her. He didn't even do that in the margins of his books he owned.
Come to think of it she hadn't seen him write at all. Thank god he could spell, she thought to herself before looking at him exasperated. "You - you wrote a book." She breathed out.
"A manuscript." He shrugged, "It needs to be edited if it's gonna go any further." His eyes met hers. She looked at him not catching on completely. "I want you to do it." He said seriously.
"Me?"
"Why not. The only opinion in this crummy town that holds any meaning to me is you. Maybe Luke." He muttered the last part. "You have the only other copy of this. So. I don't know. Tell me what you think."
"Is it complete?"
"I think so. Don't ask me again I feel I might change my mind." He said looking around before back at her. She felt over the title page with her fingertips again right above his name. "Jess, this is... I....I'm really proud of you.."
"Well now you can say you ran into me on a good day. Good day for the both of us." He shrugged trying to pass off the praise. "Jess." She spoke. He looked at her. "I'm really, really proud of you." She said genuinely. And for a moment there he could catch a glimpse of the girl he first met. Drawn to the crack in the composure he leaned forward to get a clearer look of it.
His lips found place at hers, soft and sweet just as he had remembered them from years before. Only one kiss but it was one he was nostalgic of.
He moved so his body was closer to hers and his hand gently snaked around her waist. His other met the back of her neck as he leveraged her face closer on his. He kissed her slower so it would last forever to him. He felt her pulling away slightly and he stopped. "What?" He asked gently.
"What are you doing.." Lucy said trying to gather thoughts.
"What do you mean?" He said furrowing his eyebrows.
"I mean what are you doing." She said and took a step back.
He looked at her confused, "I thought.." he tried searching for the reason. "It seemed like the thing to do at the time."
"You hand me a manuscript and you just take that as a cue to try to get in my pants?" She frowned.
Jess was really confused now. "Wa-wait hold up, you kissed me back-"
"Fuck Jess-" she ran her hands through her hair. "Really? Really?" She said her levels of upset were steadily rising he could tell, just not why.
"What do you mean really-I thought that's what you wanted-I mean-you didn't say no-" he stammered argumentatively.
"I can't believe you." She said through her teeth almost as if she was fighting to not be angry. "This isn't highschool any more Jess! You can't just kiss me and expect -expect-"
"What what? Expect what?"
"I don't know!"
"No no say it," he raised his voice, "what was expecting from this huh? To get in your pants is what I said huh?"
"Forget it!" She said ready to walk away. He hurried around to her to get in her path. "No you're not running, we're talking about this. Now." He said.
"Alright? You don't get to make me feel like shit, when I did nothing wrong."
"But you get to make me feel that way?" She snapped.
"What are you talking about." He griped.
She looked him in the eyes, "High-school Jess. Think long and hard." She said; not breaking her stare with him. "Lane's first gig."
Jess thought about that night. Got into an argument with Rory. Got into a fight with Dean. Police came and he went home. "Why-I don't get how this pertains to us, you weren't even there."
"I was, just not with you. I tried looking for you Jess but you weren't there, and when I did find you you ran off. And I was left to clean up after Dean." She said.
"I didn't even see you.." he said more to himself. Lucy continued to hold her gaze on him, he was slightly impressed she came off so strong right now. Not to mention her teary red eyes just made it more intimidating to look at. He scratched the back of his head before it clicked. The problems after that night her and Dean were having. Evasiveness, the intervention, all of it. Luke wouldn't even tell him what happened after. He slowly looked at her.
"I went that night for you." She said simply before turning around to walk away.
__________
Jess went over to Lucy's place early the next morning, last night not sitting right with himself. He had a feeling it hadn't with her either. He knocked on the door and hoped she answered. He bit his lip nervously before seeing the first door open, but the screen door stayed shut.
"Go home Jess, my grandpas asleep." She said tiredly and went to close the door.
"Wait-" he spoke up and she stopped. "Look," he cleared his throat. "I want you to know that if I had known, you would never had been in that situation-"
"How could you have known Jess. You were sucked up in your own little world." She said. "You kissed me. And wether or not it mattered to you, it mattered to me. You stole my first kiss Jess." She said. "You used me up for whatever excitement or experiment you were trying to start in your life and the very next day you're walking around with some other girl. And doing the same thing to her. For who? Yourself? For Rory? Cause next thing you know you're with her too."
"Look, things were different then-"
"You didn't know what you want, sure, understandable excuse, that doesn't deny the fact that throughout that for some unknown reason I still talked to you. Still came to you when I needed cause I thought we're friends." She said. She shook her head. "Even now I realize that we're not friends Jess. We were never friends."
"No."
"Yes."
"No don't say that." He shook his head "You know that's not true-"
"What's my last name, Jess." She looked up at the ceiling. His silence followed. "My favorite color? My favorite movie? My favorite book?" She said exhaustedly. "Do you even know the color of my eyes." She said still looking at the ceiling.
Jess was at a loss for words.
"Didn't think so. Jess Mariano." She said. "I liked you Jess. I did. But you don't like me. You don't even know me and honestly I don't even know why I bother. Because it's always something, as soon as I get over it you bring it back."
"Things are different now, I know you-" he said, stepping up to the door. "Who cares what your favorite color is I know you. The real you. You're hiding Lucy and I'm the only one who cares to figure out why." He said desperately, "I like you Lucy. I've never liked anybody - but I like you-and I'm feeling this way towards you that I'm not sure how to register but I know-that I am your friend. And I want to know you more. I need to." He begged her almost. "Something's been different okay. And maybe it's because of the past or maybe it's because of these few days, but whatever it is I don't want you to be left on your own to figure this out-"
He heard her shut the door. He bit his lip going to knock on the door obnoxiously. No answer. He knocked again and again until finally the door opened again. She opened the screen door. Just as hope rose in his heart and to his feet to move to her she shoved the manuscript and something else in his hands.
"Here." She said quickly and took a deep breath.
He looked up at her hurt and confused. Lucy exhaled, "I cant be your editor. Goodbye Jess." She shut the doors quickly. He heard the click of her locking them. He looked down briefly.
He saw on-top of the manuscript was her iPod and earbuds. He bit his lip hard and shoved it in his pocket before stepping off her porch and walking back home to Luke's.