I laughed carelessly with a laugh which I rarely like to show to others when I looked at Benjamin I noticed that he was laughing at my strange laugh.
- Sorry I couldn't control my laugh... - I said trying to stop to laugh.
- It's okay! Sometimes I like to hear scandalous laughs...
- Gosh! I also like the your laugh... it is stranger than mine...
- Thank you for your frightening insult, madame Kristma!
Benjamin got up and bows to me as a form of reverence and then immediately leaved towards for the closets and shelves that rested beside the bed.
I sit at the foot of the bed and watch Benjamin search in every drawer, in every dresser and dusty cupboard of that room in search of the deck of cards.
There was no longer the black jacket over his body and so little there was the tie around his neck or shoes on his feet, just the white shirt that marked each muscle of his strong arm and it further enhanced his brown skin.
- Finally! - He celebrated it with a pile of golden cards on his hands - I thought I was going to have to manufacture these playing cards but here they are...
- Thank you mister Iudex Benjamin! - I thank him in a mockery tone.
- It was nothing, my dear Madame Kristma de Douléia...
- I still don't understand this part...
- Which part? - Ben questioned sitting in front of me.
- How did you find out I came from Douléia?
- I know some people who work in your mother colony... they told me some informations about you...
- What people?
- Some Iudexes responsible for the administration and enforcement of laws in Douléia... - Benjamin answered in a vague tone and with his eyes completely focused on movement of the cards on his hands.
- So that's it? Am I a gossip?
- Not exactly... here are your playing cards!
Benjamin hands me a group of six cards face down. I took the small set of cards and turn to me taking care not to let Ben see which cards had been delivered to me.
It was a seven of rose, nine of birds, eight of tree branches, a six of cherry trees, a Joker, a jack of birds and a king of birds.
- The intention of the game you already know... to eliminate all your cards.
- Yes! - I answer with conviction.
- How are you going to do that it's the fun part of our game... the cards will always be like this... golden and with some black drawings on the back. There is a number on the center of each card and a drawing in the corners. Each drawing and each color has an importance and it is this importance that will decide which card will "kill" the other card that is in front of it... the black drawing cards that are the roses or the birds eliminate the blue drawing cards which are the tree branches and the cherry blossoms. The joker eliminates any card either black or blue, the B cards eliminates any card that has the same color as it, the black cards are stronger than the blue cards, the blue or the black king eliminates all cards of the same color, the queen is stronger than jack and the jack is stronger than all cards with numbers...
- There are many rules...
- It will get easier as you play...
- Okay...
- Continuing... after that everything works like a pyramid... the number the ten is stronger than the nine, eight and so on until you get to the number one card... the number cards don't follow the color rule... the color is only worth something if it's two equal cards... like if you play a blue nine and I play a black nine so whoever loses the round is you because the card you played was blue... ah! And I almost forgot! With each new round who wins the previous one is who has the right to start the round...
- Okay... a lot of rules but I'm assimilating...
- That's my Madame Kristma!
So then we started playing. Bejamim allowed me to start our first round and with all my inexperience I used my eight of tree branches which had as counter response a nine of birds.
- I won that one!
-You should let me win this... - I complained feeling the taste of defeat .
- It is by losing that you cab learn Kris! - He spoke amusing himself with the anger stamped on my face.
- Okay...
Another round of cards is started by Benjamin who very cleverly revealed a seven of tree branches. I looked at my cards and took a nine of roses and fix my eyes on the face of my opponent.
- Good bet... - Him praised looking at my card.
- Thank you...
I played a six of cherry trees on the empty space between us awakening the curiosity of Benjamin who looked at the letter and then at me quite cautiously.
- You're getting good at this, young lady...
Benjamin counterattacked using acard of lesser value that guaranteed him an immediate defeat.
- Are you practicing what I told you this morning? - Ben asked in a nostalgic and delicate tone.
- I've been busy all day with...
- With your problem that at the end of the day was solved by me? No need to thank...
- Aired...
- Thank you madame... now how we are going to have a lot of time available I think I'll give you your next lesson...
- What would be this lesson? - I asked already feeling a certain discomfort for to recall the whole matter once again.
- Fix the fact and not what you felt or still feel...
- That will be impossible...
- No... it won't! Look... your father abandoned you, treated your mother and you with no kind of affection but this it was his attitudes, not a consequence of being who you are... what I'm trying to say it's ... there are some bad people who have terrible attitudes and those people can be anyone! Your father, your mother, a teacher who called you dumb but because there are people like these it's not means that a) You will be everything they said or implied about you and b) You need to understand that people like that act and speak in a cruel or bad way due to the chaos that exists within them so stop focusing on your feelings and focus on what really happened. Don't give more power to something that shouldn't have any power over you... look at your past.... you stopped living in one house and went to live in another... you suffered how every child would suffer but you need understand that at the end of the day that's exactly what happened... you moved away from home, started a new life with new people, places to go and so on... I know that I seem as if I have a cold heart but you need move on, you must keep living, you must put a end in your pain.
I was silent for a few minutes just looking at the cards in my hands, the outline of the glittering paper of the golden verse of the small rectangle of flaps rounded that hung on my fingers.
Once again he was right. In the end that's all that happened, I moved the house of my parents and started a new life in Douléia.
How feelings make us see our memories in such an exaggerated and grandiose way... in my head every time I reviewed my memories of that particular day I saw everything from more dramatic way. I saw tears, pain and suffering but in fact it was an echo of my feelings attached to those memories.
- Why are you helping me?
- Because that's what I like to do the most...
- Helping people like me?
- It's just... I couldn't leave this trip without at least seeing a smile on your face... when I first saw you... you seemed like a very sad person and after talking to you I was sure you were like that. So I had to do something...
- Are you so kind to everyone?
- No... I'm so good only with those who deserve...
- So I deserve it?
- Of course you deserve it!
I felt a certain spark of desire burning among us. The green of his eyes staring my lips painted red, the velvety tone of your voice that pronounced each word at a slow and calm pace.
All that seemed to be extremely wrong, I wasn't available I had a master who if he found out what happened tonight... that wasn't happened a sexual involvement but an involvement of souls and that there is a feeling of this kind blooming in me I could go to prison for treason! But anyway this connection... this romantic feeling only exists in my head... if Benjamin really wanted me, if that interest it's real, if he is helping me because he likes me the way I like him, then he would ask me to Cael. I'm sure he'd buy me out of it and not just flirt with me and be nice... that's what he was being to me. A kind man.