I wake up to my dog jumping on me I'm about to get up so that I can let her out of my room to eat or go to the bathroom, whatever it is I don't care.
I'm still not awake yet.
Still processing what I'm doing. I walk over to the door. I open it and zoom- there she goes.
I sit on my bed. I can feel tears on my cheeks. My eyes burn. Maybe Bullet poked my eyes? or maybe I did?
My neck starts to hurt.
" Fuck, did that dream have to turn into a nightmare and break my neck? "
" Watch your mouth. " My father said sternly.
I jumped, startled from hearing his voice come out of nowhere. Did I say that out loud? I ignored him in hope that he would just continue doing what he was doing and forget it. I did not want to start anything today.
" Ven a comer ( Come and eat)." He calls out.
" Okay, Apa (Dad). " I Respond. I'm so dead. He's gonna tell mom and she's gonna kill me.
I go downstairs, hoping nothing angers me and pisses me off because today is not it. I'm tired, my neck hurts, and that dream got me shook. As I make it down the stairs. I'm greeted by Bullet Jumping up and down. I fill her bowl with dog food that she won't even eat. I make my way past the kitchen to the table. As I sit down my Mom starts to interrogate me.
" ¿Por qué dijiste esa mala palabra? ( why did you say that bad word?)
Damn. I'm so dead, quick sheep think. Use that big brain of yours.
" I poked my eyes, lo siento ( I'm sorry). " I make the sincerest face I could and acted as my eyes still burned.
She looked at me and boy was that scary. She gave in and just let it slide with an " Okay " and "Don't ever do that again." and started serving the food she prepared earlier before the tamales. Surprisingly Dinner was very calm. Not much drama went down, thankfully.
" Do you guys smell something burning? " My little sister, Cruz blurts out.
Everyone stops what they are doing. Mom rushed to the kitchen to check if she left the stove on by accident. While Mom is in the kitchen we all start to sniff the air. There ain't no smoky smell, so we all start looking at her weirdly.
As my Mom returns from the kitchen to the table with a confused look on her face, she says.
" Nada se quemó, la estufa ni siquiera estaba encendida. ( Nothing got burned, The stove wasn't even on.) "
Is she imagining things? She is six years old. She could be acting or playing a game with Chema. Meet the troubling duo, Cruz and Chema. These two are literal earthquakes. Their rooms can never stay organized and clean for more than 15 minutes. Taking care of them drains me out quickly, but I will admit they can be pretty cute and funny at times. Though they are demons for the most part. Them acting all sweet and chill is rare.
This household consists of Mom, Dad, Grandma, the spawns of Satan, and Me. Of course, Bullet has to be included.
" Sheep probably burned her frizzy hair with a flat iron. " Chema said giggling.
" I Stopped straightening my hair when I was in the 8th grade," I responded with clenched teeth.
" la borrega ni siquiera se cepilla el Pelo ( Sheep doesn't even brush her hair)." My Dad comments.
Which makes everyone laugh. I ignore it and try to stay calm. I'm not in the mood to have a calm conversation right now, but like always my tongue is the death of me.
" Just because my hair doesn't stay in place and Changes with the weather. That doesn't mean I don't brush, mi pelo ( my hair)!" I said with a bit of attitude that said I was annoyed.
Thankfully they all just giggled even more. I just rolled my eyes in annoyance. That's as far as I was gonna go. I just wanna eat and go upstairs and draw or read. Maybe even finish my homework.
Dinner went well besides my moodiness taking over and almost ending my life. I started reading this new book school assigned to us. I don't have any motivation to start it, so I start to draw. At first, I just start sketchings faces, lips, eyes. Then I start sketching smoke and very noir sketches. Before I even know if I'm sorta drawing my dream that I had earlier, to the best of my abilities. Of course, it didn't end up that good and exactly like my dream, but the drawing came out nice. A very grungy type of vibe.
That dream was strange and scary, but It did feel exciting and real. Curiosity always got the better of me. Too bad that dreams don't repeat themselves. The sensation is still fresh. The feeling of me floating, the pull, and the wind that blew me awake.
I'm in deep thought, contemplating what my dream meant.
Could it be a sign? Is my subconscious trying to tell me something? If only I could interpret dreams like the Curanderas ( Female healers) in Mexico. Why can't God just send me a sign and give me the knowledge I need to survive and pass it down to the next generations.
Summoning a God is hard, especially if you don't know where to start. I can't help but feel that I need to do something with my life instead of just being cooped up in my room all day. I hate feeling so tired and worn out. If I get my life in check and start to follow a routine I'll just question it and wonder why I doing it every day.
My body feels heavy at times. I feel like a drone that's only mission is to waste away and lose track of time. I let out a huge amount of air that was unknowingly holding in.
I suddenly feel cold.
I turn toward my window to see that it's open. I didn't put much thought into it since my window got stuck and wouldn't open at all. I was too happy that it finally opened.
I didn't worry if someone got in since my window is 9 ft off the ground. It is impossible for a human to climb up without a ladder. who would even be a ble to carry that without being noticed.
The air felt nice as I looked out to see the city lights. Looking out of my window, I huff out warm air that becomes fog from the cold and hot air mixing. It was peaceful. Until I hear a soft, but audible.
"Meow."
I looked down to find what looked like a black tabby walking back and forth. The street night lights gave me an okay view. I don't really like cats, but the cat was acting weird so a let out a small laugh.
The cat heard me and stopped dead in its tracks and looked up at what made that noise, which is me. Its green eyes stared straight at me. I never had an interest in cats and never knew what to do if a cat caught my attention. If it were a dog I would talk in a baby voice and say " Come here boy/girl " or do anything to catch its attention, but since this was a cat the only thing that came out of my mouth was simply.
" Hello."
It got awkward since it was a cat and not a dog so it just stood there. And with a simple
" Bye. " I shut the window hoping it wouldn't get stuck again.
I went to bed with Bullet. I couldn't sleep.
The nap I took earlier spoiled it, my sleep that is.
Great another all-nighter, I thought.