For a moment, Sierra was filled with a terrible sense of foreboding. She looked around her room looking for anything that would change her mind. She started it as a joke since no one had ever asked her out and now someone really wanted to go out with her. The offer surprised her; she was someone who had never given a chance to anyone, not even kindness. She breathed deep in the chill silence. She could feel the eyes of her teacher on her; it was something that haunted her for years, a shadow she couldn't get rid of. The dead listened; they were all listening and her teacher knew. She was about to have a happy moment.
There were times- not many, but a few- when Sierra felt burdened with her guilt; she felt the death of her teacher was her fault. She settled down on a chair waiting for someone to knock the door. Every bit of the house was a place filled with dark memories. Her parents fought like hyenas in captivity each time they stumbled upon each other. As she filled her glass of water, it struck her that someone was watching her.
As Elijah was late, she put on a rag over her clothes to keep her dress clean and turned to cook something she would leave for her father, to pass to her neighbour and to let Elijah have some of it. When he knocked on the door, the heavy smell of roasted meat and fresh-baked bread haunted the house. "Hello!" she undid the outer garment and tossed it aside as Elijah excused himself and came inside. His grey hair shining brightly under the light of the lamp.
"You didn't have to cook like that. I was already planning for us to visit a bakery then go to my friend's house."
"I didn't cook for us alone. I think it's best to eat at home first. I like eating at home. I don't trust outsiders that much. Don't be offended."
"Yet, you let outsiders get into your house."
"It's normal. This house had seen enough. It's not important."
Elijah looked around and his eyes fell on a Buddha statue. Sierra laid down the meat and the bread. Strangely, in Revampirina, the meat was cheaper than bread. Grains took a long time to grow and people of the first rank worked hard but the rain wasn't always available. Nature was angry and no one could do anything about it. She served herself some bread with vegetable soup and did the same to Elijah, but she added the meat.
"You don't eat meat."
"No, not really. I feel it's weird to eat meat so I only focus on vegetables. Have you really seen where meat comes from?"
"Cows and pigs."
"But have you really seen them?"
He shook his head negatively. "I think I will not eat it as well. Though I find it regretful… You did a wonderful job cooking."
"I know, right? It's always been this way; my father and me. I do all things around here but he works and makes money so it's fine."
"It must have been nice living with him. I saw him the other day helping an old lady down the streets. We don't see many old people in the city… It's odd but it must be they can't make it."
They didn't know that old people were allowed to live because they were purchased by vampires who wanted a fine aged blood. Sometimes, it was a blessing to be ignorant and die as one. The old woman would never know that she was only allowed to live because her owner wished for a good glass of blood. At least, she lived well and saw her grandchild. That was what they said and approved. They keep them ignorant and let them grow into something they wanted.
"It's really nice. How are you coping? Margaret told me about the situation at your home. She told me many things in fact; how you keep taking her side… how you keep wanting for her to be noticed instead of living in the shadows of a dead boy… how you always encourage her to be herself… You shouldn't do the latter. It's dangerous. You know how innovative ideas are forbidden."
"I know that. But do you know what truly happens to the ones who are sentenced to death?"
"I don't really like talking about it. It makes me sick. I like to think that I want to be a bird, like those crows that fly in the sky."
"Is this why you made her shut up? You are afraid to look further into those dreams and find out something bad or cause herself to die. Margaret is a big girl; she knows all that."
"There was a time I was called like that, until I… Until I heard of my sentence: that I would be a condemned. I was the first girl for years, decades, to be pushed into that zone. I always asked myself why the sky was blue while we didn't have any other color beside white and black with shades of grey. I was like that… Asking about everything… Keeping faith and dreams," she touched her chest softly remembering how her teacher called her 'brilliant and ambitious'. "Do you know what it cost? A life…"
"You don't have to guilt yourself over it. Things happen. Sometimes, we cannot control what happens to other people. The most important thing is that you live… You are alive," he said, not believing a word from what he said. It was only words to say to people asking for console and he assumed she told him that to get consoled. Aidan told him that girls liked to be hugged and consoled.
Sierra stared at him incredulously then burst into laughter. "Do you truly believe that?" she went on. "I wished for death every day and tried to suicide many times because I can't keep up with my imagination. I just have to question everything and refuse everything because I find it ridiculous," she leaned closer whispering. "I see something you cannot see. My hair isn't the color everyone sees."
Elijah thought she was making fun of him because her smile and attitude showed that. However, little did he know, she was speaking the truth. His eyes peeked into her messy hair again and it was of a dark shade of grey. For him, everyone was the same. He looked at her once again, confused on whether to console her or hug her or do something else. She didn't cry; Elijah saw Aidan hug his girlfriend when she started crying after she complained about a problem of hers. Yet, Sierra didn't cry.
"Weren't you supposed to cry?"
"Why?" she paused for a moment. "For you to hug me or what… Crying isn't a hobby of mine. I told you all that because I don't want her to be in the same situation as mine. I don't like giving examples of other people so I took mine. I was almost a condemned. If it wasn't for my father, I wouldn't have escaped the predicament. So where is Margaret?"
"I didn't bring her; she said she felt sick. I am sorry about that. I will make sure to tell her what you want her to know. I swear I will… Tell her everything."
"I see. So you want to take to some dessert shop. It would great but I will not follow you to your friend's house. I don't go to other houses that much," she stood up ending the conversation.
She made sure to wrap carefully the neighbour's lunch. She knocked on his door and waited till he opened. She handed him his late lunch and followed Elijah to a small ice cream shop. It opened recently. There was a young woman behind the counter.
"What do you want?" Elijah asked, checking his pocket if he had enough money to pay for her.
"I think I don't know exactly but I will have the cheapest one."
"Why?"
"I don't really like ice cream but I will have one because you are paying of course. You said your friend would be somewhere around here. I think it's better if we join them."
"You won't like it," he hesitated.
"Why?"
"They like to hug each other and kiss a lot."
"Ammm…," she curved her mouth down. "I see. So it was a double date? What made you think to ask me out? I am really curious about that. You see I am not the perfect girl to marry or the perfect to befriend. Besides my rank and money, I don't have anything else."
Elijah stared at her, frowning. "Why do you keep belittling yourself? Since the first time I talked to you, you don't act like someone from the fifth rank. The fifth rank for us is like a dream. No one practically succeeds in being one, unless you have someone you know or you marry someone from there. It's like a title that gets passed down. You are fine. Once someone gets to know you, he will like you."
"Ammm… Is my rank really something to envy about? Don't try to act like you really care. I don't believe one bit in what you say."