After such disaster, I went home feeling so tired and I instantly fell asleep.
When I woke up, I saw Zoe leaning to me.
"Great, you're awake now. Come on. let's have breakfast"
I was confused for a bit, 'how is she here in my room?'
Oh. Our helpers remember her. Damn.
I stood up and followed her to the dining area.
I saw my luggage near the stairs.
"What's going on? Why is my luggage here and what are you doin here?" I'm a bit pissed at this point. Not a good morning for me.
"Oh, we're going to camp." She answered while munching on her breakfast.
" And who said I will go? It is just you and your batchmates. I don't want to get involved" I pushed my plate away showing disgust of the thought.
" You should come. My friends miss you already and I need you to be there for me."
"What? To be your plaything? I don't want to be a part of anything related to you."
I stood up and walked away.
" This is the last time. I want to be with you, for the last time. Please, just this once."
I really want to end this and have nothing to do with her anymore. I don't want to be involved with her. I want someone else right now. Someone I want to protect and console. Maybe, fall in love as well.
"after this, I won't ask anything from you anymore. " Zoe sounded serious.
"I don't want anything from you after this. I don't want to see even your shadow."
I went back to my room to get dressed.
She was the one driving the car towards the camping site. We were quiet and no one wants to start any conversation. I tried to fall asleep and when I woke up, we were there already. I saw her with her friends. I tried looking for the keys but I think she have it. I saw her ex boyfriend and her pretentious friends as well.
I went to grab my tent and start preparing a spot away from them. I never wanted to be here anyways. I looked at my phone and messaged Jadis. I just have to endure this for now. I want to get it over with Zoe.
I stayed in my tent the whole time even if she tries to ask me to come and join them. I'll just sleep and not mingle with any of them. What for? I never forgot what they did to me. How she made a fool out of me.
The next day I tried searching for my phone cause I want to check if Jadis replied but I can't find it.
"Looking for this?" Zoe spoke outside my tent. I can see the light of my phone as she shakes it lightly to show me she have it.
"Give it back. " I was firm. She's pissing me off this early.
" I asked for your time, so I will spend it the way I want. You will get it when we leave the camp. " she smiled, more like an evil grin to me. "Come, let's eat".
For a week all they ever did was camp in and out the area. We went to the beach, hiked up the mountain, ate lunch beside a river, took a bath on waterfalls, all of it would have been fun if only Jadis is the one with me. I know she is just a pretend girlfriend but if this issue finally ends, I will ask her out, formally.
It's the last day for this never ending pretentious camping trip. I saw Zoe left her bag in the tent. I went in to grab my phone.
She even turned my phone off. What if Jadis was calling me?
I turned it on and saw missed calls from Morgan.
Morgan also messaged me about Jadis and that infuriated me. I wanted to call Morgan but there was no signal. I packed my stuff and grab my tent to head back to the car but Zoe stopped me and grabbed my arm.
"Where do you think you're going?" she questioned.
"Home." I looked at her, angry and I want to leave her immediately.
"We still have time. What's the rush?" she made this pleading look that used to work on me but not anymore.
" I should be somewhere important! Not this waste of a trip!" Everyone heard what I said but I didn't care.
"Is it her again? Can't she wait for her turn? It's our---" I cut her off.
"There's no OURS! NO WE! NO US! I am with someone else now! Don't you get it? I will go! SHE NEEDS ME!" I snapped.
I can see Zoe's face pale up. I don't care. There's someone who needs me more than her. I know it's not right to embarrass her like that but I need to point it out clearly so she wakes up from her delusions.
I looked for the keys and drove away from the camp site.
I'm not really used to driving long distance but I managed because I wanted to see her. I wanted to hear her voice. I want to check if she's okay.
I dialed Morgan's number and she answered.
"Karlee! Where the fuck are you?!"
"I'm on my way back. I will go see her in the hospital."
Morgan told me everything that happened. I can feel her anger as she was telling me about her friends and what they did to her. She was furious. I was the same. I was speeding like a racer out to get the gold medal. I never stopped and forgot my hunger or thirst.
I arrived at the hospital late in the afternoon, almost night time. I don't care if I'm past visiting hours. I need to see her.
I went straight to her room and saw her lying down on the bed. Still unconscious. I am enraged by what I see on her arms. She really tried to protect herself but maybe they were way too many. She sleeps like an angel. I grabbed her hand and sat beside the bed.
" I'm here. I'm sorry I'm late again. I wasn't there to protect you. I am such a useless boyfriend. Good thing , right now, I am just your pretend boyfriend. And maybe that's why, you never asked me for help. Cause we were just pretending. You don't want to bother me. If only I can make it real this time."
I kissed her hand. It feels so soft. I want to hold on to her longer but I heard the door open. I was surprised to see Jaz standing there, shocked and angry.
"So you were just pretending? You made her look like she is playing with us both! How stupid can you be?!" he grabbed my collar and yelled at my face.
Jaz looked like he was not in a good mood. He looked stressed. Like he never left her side.
"Do you know what she has to go through?! If you just let her be with me! I could protect her! I will never let her get hurt like this!" He was just yelling and I don't have any energy to fight back.
Maybe he also have a point. Maybe if we didn't pretend, and I let him be with her, he would be a better boyfriend than I am.
" If you are not serious about her, give her to me! I will do everything you cannot"
I was doubting myself. How can I get serious with this pretend? Will I pretend to be her serious boyfriend or will I get serious in being her pretend boyfriend? I don't know the answer yet. All I feel right now is I'm partly to blame for what happened. Cause I wasn't there for her. As her boyfriend even if we were just pretending.
He loosened his grip on my collar and looked at her.
" I am serious about her. You don't know how much I like to be with her. I waited for a year to make her notice me and then you came and ruined it. You should stop doing this pretending. You can't protect her. But I can." he claimed.
I was speechless the whole time. He has a point. And I don't want to hurt her by pretending further. If Jaz said that he will protect her, he will. Just like what he did when I wasn't around.
He left the room frustrated that I didn't utter a word. But I feel disappointed with myself. He was eyeing her for a year and feels like that towards her. He made progress. But I still wasn't able to tell her who I am and how long I'd been crushing on her since we were kids.
Ever since I heard her sing on the school talent show and when I hear her sing in her room, I will stand on their wall fence and just listen to her singing. Her voice has always been my comfort song.