During all the ride, I asked myself what have I did wrong to deserve all of this.
Maybe it was because of the time I stole a pair of bread, bear with the hunger for another day would have been the best.
Or maybe it was because of the day I told my mother she was a bad and irresponsible person, she didn´t talk to me for two weeks.
It could be because of how selfish I had been, I was never satisfied with the way I was living and I looked for a way to change it, maybe dream so high was my mistake.
It didn´t matter, I was going to die soon.
The van stopped, the men put a black bag over my head and pulled me out of the vehicle, after opening doors and climb steps, I was dropped over my left side.
-...Ugh...
-This is it, boss.
-Good, leave us alone.
They took away the bag and released my libs.
The sound of closing doors came from behind, I didn´t look back, but front.
I was inside an office, lots of animal heads were hanging in the white concrete walls that reflected the light passing through the beautiful windows of golden frames.
The place was so clean that I could see me reflected on the floor.
-What the-Ghk...
The hit of yesterday still hurt, a humid and sticky sensation stayed in my hand after touching my beating head.
-You´re awake? Very good, I´m Francisco, What´s your name son?
A man of dark skin dressed in an elegant white suit and black hat talked to me from a wooden desk.
He seemed quite young, around twenty-five years old, both his hair and eyes were brown, he was handsome, but there was something wrong with that man.
He irradiated a dangerous air that made my body tremble, his dull gaze and cold voice made me wonder if that person still had humanity in himself.
Breathe was hard, all my body was trembling and my eyes were on the edge of tears.
Among all the anxiety and dread, I managed to respond to the man with a small and weak voice.
-A-Antonio Hernández G-García... Sir.
-Antonio, Do you know why you´re here?
I knew it very well.
-... My father sold me to pay his debts...
The memory of that man kicking my back reproduced hundreds of times inside my head, my fear turned into an embracing hatred that boiled my blood.
-Correct, your father came to us asking for money for his business, I don´t even remember what it was, but I´m sure it was very stupid, anyway, we gave him the money and established a payment date... However, your father didn´t pay in time, and when we threatened him with selling his insides... He offered you as his payment... Hahaha, it stills brings a smile to my face every time I remember it.
The voice of Francisco was deep and his tone intimidating, the corners of his mouth created a tiny smile that I wished to never have seen.
After hearing how everything happened, the tears in my eyes mixed with the huge anger coming out of my chest.
That son of a bitch!
The face of my parents appeared in my head.
I´LL KILL THEM! I´LL TAKE REVENGE NO MATTER THE COST!
I wiped away my tears and stood from the ground.
-What's going to happen to me?
-Hmm... What will it be?... Before answering... Tell me... Who hit you in the head?
The face of my aggressor appeared in my head.
-... It was a man with a red T-shirt.
-Red T-shirt eh, all right, give me a second.
Francisco pulled out a cellphone from his suit, after tipping something he put it back, then, he opened a drawer from his desk.
-Tell me, Antonio, Have you shot a weapon before?
A question you wouldn´t ask any nine-year-old kid, but at this point, nothing was normal.
-N-No, never.
-I see, it´s okay, there´s a first time for everything.
Before noticing, the barrel of a pistol was placed on my forehead.
My heart rate shot and cold sweat covered my body at the same time my eyes focused on the piercing look of Francisco.
-Haah* Haaah* Gulp*
-This is my emergency weapon, I use it in case someone infiltrates my house and tries to kill me, And you know what?
The man approached his face to my ear, and with a kind voice that didn´t match the heavy air said:
-Right now you are an infiltrator, and you´re in my house.
-!!
All the alarms of my body shot.
I quickly tried to excuse myself.
-I-I-
-Sshhhh.
The thumb of Francisco prevented me from speaking.
-Don't say anything, I didn´t permit you to talk, so you won´t talk, Understood?
Understanding that I was not going to listen, I nodded resigned to my imminent death.
-Good, you´re a smart boy, and I like smart people. Said Francisco petting my head, the withe globe he had stained with my blood.
Knock* Knock*
-Come in. Said Francisco without moving the gun.
-You called me boss?
That voice.
I couldn´t turn, but I recognized the voice that came from my back, it was the guy with the red T-shirt who stamped me against the wall.
-That´s right, come here um... You.
-... Yes sir.
The man walked to my side.
-Well, you see, I believe I told you that I don´t like it when my merch is damaged, so tell me...
-Ah!
Francisco grabbed my hair and moved my head to show the wound.
-What the fuck is this?!
When the man of the red T-shirt heard the question, all the colors left his body, his lips were trembling and the sweat flowing down his skin reflected the light like a river.
-T-That was the brat's fault! He didn´t stop resisting and the police were on their way! When he tried to escape he fell down the stairs!
Without dropping the weapon or letting go of my hair, Francisco looked at me.
-... Is that true, Antonio?
-Ghk...
Before I answering I looked at the man in a red T-shirt, he had a face that was saying "I´m going to kill you if you don´t say yes!".
Then I returned to Francisco.
The man had a dangerous gaze that seemed to see through everything, it was obvious that he would notice if I lied.
-That is...
My only option was to say the truth, I didn´t have anything else.
-It´s true sir... I tried to fight back...
The red man seemed satisfied with my answer, but the finger of Francisco was on the trigger.
-I resisted... But this wound was made thanks to that man! He said it was his therapy for dealing with such a stupid boss!
-!! Fuking brat!
Bang* Bang* Bang*
-AAAHHHH! RGH! SHIT!
The bullets mercilessly pierced the legs of the man.
I froze watching how the blood came out of his body among screams of pain.
-Antonio, stretch out your hands.
-...
I did what he asked and stretched my hands, he put the weapon used to shot my aggressor, then, he walked to my back.
-Put your index finger here, your thumb goes here, and your palm here.
Francisco made me grab the weapon properly and aimed at the person squirming on the floor before us.
-Kill him.
-What?!
Both I and the man looked at Francisco astonished.
-Did I stuttered? I told you to kill him, Or do you want to take his place?
-B-But! AH!
I didn´t know from where, but the razor of a knife was placed over my cheek, the cold steel slowly was cutting my flesh.
-GHK! * RGH! *
I tried to get away, but Francisco held my head, my blood was escaping from my body through my face.
-I´ll reach your neck in no time, if you don´t kill him before that happens, you´ll die.
-B-But-!
-No buts! It´s kill or be killed! Your father was a weak ignorant loser! That´s why his life was so pathetic to even sell his son!
I tried to close my eyes, but the fingers of Francisco held my eyelids.
-Do you want to be like your father?!
I looked at the man on the floor, he was screaming for mercy, but I couldn´t hear his words.
As I could, I replied to the question.
-N-No!
-Do you want to die?!
I remembered all my short life, since the first moment I breathe I´ve been doing all I could to stay alive, no matter how hard or painful was, I just didn´t want to die.
I don´t want to die!
-Argh! *
My blood didn´t stop its escape and the knife didn´t stop its fall.
-I don´t want to die!
-Then shoot! If someone hits you, you must break its arm! If someone is insulting you then you must crush its mind! If you want something, lie, destroy, manipulate, do everything until success is in your hands!
-Rghk! *
Francisco rested the cold steel on my neck.
-Do it! Kill who tries to kill you! Sacrifice everyone, but keep moving forward!
IDONTWANTTODIEIDONTWANTTODIEIDONTWANTTODIE!!!!!
My mind filled with a primitive desire, a pure wish shared by all living beings.
-I DON´T WANT TO DIE!!!!!!
I pulled the trigger.
Bang*
The face of my father appeared.
Bang*
Then my mother.
Bang*
Then me.
Bang*
And then nothing.
Tick*
All had ended.
Tick*
I survived.
Tick*
But I lost something important.
Tick*
And I didn´t know if someday I could retrieve it.
Tick*
-Haha...HAHA!...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
While the devil was laughing, my legs gave in to gravity and my body hugged the floor.
My left field of vision filled with red, my head was spinning and my body felt heavy.
My eyes stood in the corpse in front of me, his expression was probably the same I was making when I screamed for help.
Fear, pain, anguish, betrayal.
All the feelings that were swirling in my chest the last night were sent in the shape of bullets to a complete stranger to survive.
At nine years of age, I killed a man.
Bam! *
A long and sturdy leg crushed the door.
-Boss! Are you all right?!
-!! MAN DOWN!
A group of men arrived at the office.
-It´s okay guys! Everything´s fine! I have a much better replacement for that idiot!
Francisco stretched his arms and lifted my body with the warmth of a father.
-Say hi to the new member of the family! Roberto Díaz Medina!
The men of the room seemed aseptic, but none of them said anything.
I passed my sight between the man I killed and Francisco.
Kill or be killed.
Those words would stay printed in my heart for the rest of my days.
Against all science and logic, I lifted my arm and with my hand touched the face of Francisco, and with a voice fading along with my conscience I said:
-I´ll... kill you...
A wicked smile returned the words.
-Just the devil can kill me, and you´re not him... Not yet at least.
After the short exchange of words, I fainted.
On the day of my first murderer, I was given a new name and a scar that would accompany me forever.