Good evening.
I feel so torn right now.
I cannot sleep after what happened last night and then I received a message from her that she'll give me a day to sort my feelings out whether I still wanna be friends with her or not. She said that she feels very guilty for betraying me, and that she didn't even consulted me before confessing. It was a very long message that she didn't say on call. She also added that she'll respect whatever decision I choose.
I was thinking about it the whole time and one thing only stayed in me- I don't want to lose my best friend. The only friend I trust.
So before I started writing on you, I sent her a message that I'll stay. That I want us to stay. That we don't need to rush and be the same as we used to but then her reply was (I copied it directly from her message),
"Honestly, I don't think you can forget him. You've been in love with him and using crush as the cover. You love him first before me. Though I know I said I like Zian but I also know that what I feel towards him is admiration over something about him. I know I lead you on the wrong path but believe me shae, what hurts me more is the fact that I have been hurting you for years than him rejecting me."
I was speechless so I sent a question about him rejecting her and why. Because I was certain that he likes her. I mean, he always ask me things about her, what she likes, what she loves. And other hobbies that she does. And that's all the hint I needed to know that he's interested in her.
But her next message pissed me off. Damn. Saying that Zian will be the one explaining to me the other parts because he was also a victim and he deserves to receive an explanation from me and give me a direct answer.
I'm so mad curious!
And then after that, she invited me to hang out tomorrow to buy zian her first gift to him and I happily said yes. I would rather lose Zian than lose my one and only most trusted friend... Stupid is what they might call me but I will always pick Annaliese over anyone.
Just as much as I'll save you first if my house will be on fire. Hahahaha.
Your friend,
TSM