Why would I spend most of my time recalling my encounter with Amelia? it is not like we are meeting for the first time damn it, I can't do this with my mind worked up like this. She is too pure for her own bad, and she knows no evil, which is making it complicated. She told me about the Richman guy, but I couldn't find him in the data base. Maybe her father killed him and erased all the traces. How could she be so blind in this world of today? How could she not notice how evil her dad was?
I know it, I have lived in a complicated household, thay it was even hard to voice out your true feelings or at most ask for the basics. And looking her radiating courage and energy, it pained my head, that my heart ache with it. I couldn't tell her that I have accessed other employees' files too, no. I couldn't do that. But it is a step forward to learning about her dad, and his company.
Alongside the employees' files, there were their family background check, and most of the employees were migrants, an understandable situation for criminals. They hire people vulnerable and who can do everything for money. That is why most of the workers Don't open their eyes and look at really everything that is going on in this company. There might be even criminals, I don't know, but I will finish reading their files today, I should learn all about them. Good thing that I even have a great memory,which will easy my way through them.
Why? Because when you recall just little information about someone, you use it for or against them. But when you don't know even a little bit about a person it is hard to start a conversation with them. Let alone learn about their motives. And for me at the moment? I really want to befriend everyone so that I will be ahead of them one way or the other.
It have been long since Amelia left, but not that long. But I still felt her presence, as if she brought me some kind of peace that I didn't know I needed, every time that I see her,mostly her habit of showing up unannounced,I feel like something is lifted off of my shoulder, but when I think about what I came here to do, I shiver in response.
I can't even remember the last time I felt this way with anyone. I fuckin hate myself for it. For feeling like I should protect her, while I am all the way into hurting her, and I feel like a damn coward every passind second when I look at her beautiful Hazel eyes. I can not really picture myself putting her in harms way, but it is bound to be.
I am afraid of myself and what I will do to her. That is why when She asked me about being friends and starting afresh, I couldn't do it.
Cause how can I do it? And level her hopes up that I can be her friend, whenI am pretty sure that I will betray her later. I have never and ever betrayed my boss or a friend that I called mine, really mine. That is why I am selective when choosing friends and letting people in my life, because I know at some point, I will go all the way for them and forget all about myself, because that's what I do for my friends. That is why I couldn't agree to her proposal, because I knew, It would pain her if she really knew my true ntentions. So be it. We will live just like colleagues, until I am done here. And I swear to give it all, so that i wim not have any kind of empathy for her, and I hope it works.
I opened the new banner phone I was supposed to use this night for report and dialed my boss.
" Good evening sir." I said with all the calmness I have got.
" I thought you weren't going to get back to me, what have you been doing all day?" He said in a gruffy voice.
" making progress sir, and I apologise for any delay." I replied.
" so what have you got?" He asked and I replied all about how I landed the job, and how I just managed to access employees' files, including how one of the employees doesn't have a file, yet it could have been in the data base. But for some reason I couldn't include Amelia's role in all this, I either forgot or I was hella messed up in my mind.
My boss just grunted in response and I thought he wasn't paying so much attention,so I said my good night, tore the phone and flushed it in the toilet. Wondering if soon my toilet will not be clogged.Because first, I am not sure about the toilet pipes here, because I didn't renew it, my boss did secretly. Secondly, I used to stash away my burner phones, but the last time, the police nearly caught me with a bag of burner phones, and I was instructed to destroy them from that day on by my boss. Thus, reducing the risk of being caught red handed.
I looked at my phone as it chimed to see the messages in Amelia's phone taking about me in the chat box with her friends.
"Interesting, I was bored anyway." I thought to myself as I picked it up to read.
Amelia: FYI, the tech guy is so mad at me... or you guys!
Myer: what do you mean?
Danny: why would he?
They replied nearly at the same time.
Amelia: you guys are forgetting that you asked a personal question?
Myer: that wasn't personal, we all have funny stories of how our parents named us.
Myer: maybe, he doesn't have parents.
Danny: so, how was he born then? Everyone has parents, unless they are impossible.
Myer: like yours??( laughing emoji)
Danny: shout up Maddy, don't let me bring up your ugly name.
Myer: you can't dare!
Amelia: and you all can't dare ditch the topic we were talking about.
Myer: geez! Are you obsessed with the tech guy? Ugh!
Danny: she wants in his hearts
Myer: at least we know she goes for hearts, nothing else.
Myer: she is not like you, haha, who goes for the dresses first.
Danny: ...shut up Myerrrr
Amelia: he is a prick though
I chucked to that.
Myer: who?
Danny: the same guy? Or you met another hotie?
Amelia: him! guys, he is so awful and distrusting, and he doesn't talk about himself
Myer: you are gone girl( crying emoji)
Danny: let him be! Not everyone like to talk about themselves, but at least he would have told us that earlier, and not stand up and leave like a prick.
Myer: I second this. So he is a prick, decided.
I agreed to Danny's first few words but not the but.
Amelia: is he hiding something? Because he acts so weird.
My heart skipped a beat to that
Myer: He might be shy, let him get used to the environment.
Myer said and I guess that eased the worry I was sure Amelia had about me and she replied with an okay. I switched off my phone and put it at the head board. I guess I was going to learn how to be friendly, so that I could bring comfort to Amelia's mind and work with her smoothly.