It's been a while, seeing your face like this. Your face filled with fury, ready to rip me apart. It was the only way for me to help you, but I did it behind your back. I'm sorry.

"Are you fucking serious Leroy?" you cried.

I couldn't see your eyes, they were covered by rage. Tears are the only thing I felt besides your punches before they ripped you off of me. Your cries became disoriented in my ears after the first hit.

I'm sorry Jess. I knew from the start you've hated my habit from the beginning and now if you found out. I just wanted you not to get involved in it, yet to support the dreams that you wanted for us. I know it's hard for you to accept it. And that I hate going back to this.

You shout at me crying then you slammed the door as you left. It happened too quickly. You ran, I chased after you because I didn't want to lose you. Then just like that, something was heading towards me, except I wasn't quick enough to dodge it.

Pain in my head, a hole in my heart. My sides feel crushed.

"I'm sorry … I love you," I whispered.

Your broken cry for help. Pleading for me to live once again in your arms.

What made you come after me?