At the release of second period, I shot from my chair and made a bee line for the door. I didn't bother to stop and wait for Kate and June. I needed to get away from the prying eyes of my peers. I headed down the hall and into the nearest bathroom. I walked into the first available store, locking the door behind me. Placing my hands on my head, I took slow deep breathes; willing my heart to slow and the tears threatening to spill from my eyes to dry.
A few moments later, I heart the quick scurry of familiar feet entering the girls room.
I could hear Kate outside the door, using her charms to convince the girls preening in front of the mirror to give her and June a little privacy.
"Major girl crisis, ya know?" I could hear the smile in her tone. "Thanks so much, girls!"
"Uhhhh, sure?" The girls sounded confused, but they quickly gathered their things and exited the bathroom, carrying on as if they hadn't just been booted from the restroom by a super model and her pixie side kick. Moment later, three light taps sounded on the other side of the door.
"Ainsley? Are you coming out, or are we coming in?" I heard June's mousy voice, making it clear to me that while she was giving me a choice, the choice did not include refusing to talk about it. Reluctantly, I stood and opened the door, exiting the stall to face the concerned expressions of my friends.
"Ainsley," Kate began. "What was that back there? You shot up like a rocket and looked like you had seen a ghost! "
"It was nothing," I lied. "I thought I felt something bite me, no big deal."
"So you ran out of class like a bat out of hell because what? A spider bite?" I could hear the doubt in Kate's voice as she said it.
June's eyebrows shot upward until they were obscured by the smiley bangs that hung low in her forehead "You cannot honestly expect us to buy that line of bullshit, honey."
"What she said," Kate stated plainly.
"Guys it's nothing." I shrugged in an attempt to further punctuate my feigned indifference. "Honestly, I think I'm just over for the day. I think I'll head home for the day. Will you guys email me the assignments for the rest of our classes?"
Both Kate and June wore exasperated expressions now. "You cannot be serious!" Kate exclaimed, throwing her hands up over her head. "Your mom will blow as gasket if you skip out early today."
"Yeah well, mom isn't thrilled with as it is, so I'm already in for it. Go big or go home, am I right? Will you guys send me the assignments or not?" The girls exchanged disapproving glances. June's eyebrows stitched together in frustration.
"Fine. We got you covered. Take today, get your head right. But Ainsley..." June paused. Stepping forward she placed both hands on my shoulders, forcing me to meet her gaze despite my standing nearly a foot taller then her, "You have GOT to get it together. Next time, we aren't letting you off the hook so easy. Right now you wanna keep your secrets, and that's fine. But we are your friends Ainsley. You can talk to us, about anything."
"I know that." And they knew that I did.
"Then please," Kate spoke now, standing just behind June now, "Don't shut us out. Let us be there for you. Maybe not today, but when your ready, let us be here for you. You don't have to go through whatever is going on with you alone."
I blinked hard at the tears that threatened to return now and forced a smile "Really ladies, stop being so mellow dramatic. You worry too much." I laughed as I hugged them both. "I'm just not feeling it today, probably didn't get enough sleep. I'll be back to the asshole you know and love by tomorrow. I promise." And with that, we said our goodbyes and I made my way to the school parking lot. The cool damp air nipped at the skin on my face. I made my way across the parking lot, eager to reach my car without being seen by someone who might report my leaving to my mother. She would find out soon enough, I had a sneaking suspicion she would be keeping a close eye on me while she was filling in for Mr. Martin.
I reached my car just as the first raindrops fell from the sky. I ducked inside my car, cramming the key into the ignition, the engine protested and it came to life with a whine and a few sputters. Gripping the steering wheel so tight that my knuckles were white as bone, I whipped my car out of the parking spot and out onto the narrow, quiet roads of my sleepy little town.
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I drove for what seemed like a longtime. I couldn't bring myself to go straight home, instead choosing to drive through the winding backroads past small forests and old dilapidated houses nestled within the trees that hadn't been tended in years. As I drove town the winding streets and twisting backroads, I drove past the old graveyard. As I did, a chill shot down my spine. No one had been buried there in years, after the land was filled, the funeral home purchased a new larger plot of land across town. The old graveyard was an eerie place. Weathered grave-markers showed their age, some too badly damaged to even make out the dates and epitaphs engraved in the crumbling stone. Mostly, it had become a place surrounded by myth and legend these days.
The rain was coming down in sheets by the time my car chugged to a stop in the driveway in front of the house. For a moment, I sat motionless in the drivers seat listening to nothing but the sound of the rain beating relentlessly down on the roof of my car. I focused hard on the droplets as they ran in constant streams down my windshield. In a way I envied them, what I wouldn't give to run away from this town as quickly and fluidly as the droplets made it appear to be.
With a huff, I exited the car and hastily jogged up the front porch steps as I fiddled with the keys in my hand, trying to single out the house key amongst the many bobbles that hung from the key ring. I shoved the key in the deadbolt, the old lock groaning in protest until finally, I heard the release of the latch and entered.
The house was dark, with the exception of a faint glow that emanated from the light above the stove in the kitchen. Something felt wrong here, though I couldn't place my finger on what it was. Nothing appeared to be out of place, but something in the very core of my being shouted at me to turn around and drive back to school as quickly as possible. I ignored the somersaults in my stomach as I closed and latched the door behind me, certain that I was simply on edge due to lack of sleep and the impending fight that would surely occur once my mother realized I had skipped out for the day, yet again.
Dropping my heavy bag to the floor, I plopped down on the old worn cushions of the couch with enough force that the arms of the couch creaked and whined as I settled into its contours. I felt my eyelids droop with exhaustion. I flipped on the living room television in a futile attempt to combat my need for sleep. Even as I reached down to pull my school books from my bag, I knew that I was fighting a losing battle. I'm not entirely sure how long it took, but it wasn't long before my need for sleep overtook my fear of the nightmares, and I drifted off to sleep.