When I was driving around with my brother and I heard that my mom will be Will be changing rooms and they're retarded home that she is in now, I got upset because I was afraid that her phone wasn't going to work and I was getting really angry. He said that there's no way you can fix anything that there is only around positivity and I told him to take his positivity and showered. I do not like positivity being forced upon me that is just as bad as religion in my opinion if you read my book big planet volume one just big planet planet. I do not like having things for astronomy when you force things on the people you are forcing war instead of love it would be a better idea if people didn't force the idea of positivity or other spiritual horse shit on me or other people because that's where you get the terrorists and the PTSD, Is when you force your beliefs on to someone else. And I told him that and I was getting more irate because how am I supposed to talk to my mother I was more upset than anything else and I was getting to the point where I was going to start swearing and screaming but I caught myself this time with the swearing and screaming part but I was going to down the wrong because I want to be able to talk to my mother every day and not have a fuck up. I find this whole idea of my mother being retarded retirement home to be a pain in my fucking ass because she is not being told what she's needing to be told or she is being treated like shit and I just can't stand it as a human rights activist and a human. And a daughter it pisses me off to see this. I followed the yakuza code of honour Where I have to protect my parents or parent in this case and the hell with the rest of the world. I do not like how the world is treating my mother or how they think of my mother which is really pissing me off to no end and I really wish they would just leave her the fuck alone and just feed her any and give her a drink and medication and entertainment you notice the human race thing is pissing me off that she's not getting her rides respected. I just want to ring Sarah's neck. Because it's getting annoying with pissy treatment, I am sorry for swearing like this but I just wanna be able to communicate with my mother I don't really give a flying fornication about the home actually I would prefer if that home then exists and she was in an apartment and I actually safe and sound. It pisses me off that she's not having a right honoured. And the other thing that pissed me off was the drawing so that once an alcoholic always an alcoholic what really drives me wild because you can have a disease and I can be cured again I don't think she was meaning to drink when it was just some idiot making her drink. The real disease I find is COVID-19 and terrorism I do not think that it is addiction addiction can be fixed COVID-19 and terrorism have to be dealt with with force that is a disease, Why do you have to force something out of your body or out of your system or mine this is not the case with a diction in my opinion so who is really bullshitting who. I said that if you acknowledge that you have a problem and you're going to make a solution out of the problem then you're in the good. And then you're on your way to recovery. And she admitted and knowledge to reactions and she's making a solution out of it so what the fuck is with this disease bit. I hate negative Nelly's. I'm not sure either be in my group home with positivity and healthiness. Anyway but there was one good thing that happened today other than having popcorn for lunch was that I got a small booklet about the Taj Mahal and I was able to identify another tattoo that I want for the lumbar region on my back. That beautiful picture that I found in the booklet that Brian gave me I am going to thank him for giving me another tattoo idea. I'm getting tattoos to explain who I am to people who don't know how to read a biography or know how to understand a person it's very easy to look at a tattoo and see that is self-explanatory in a way but also a conversation piece.