2006 - Metropolis, Kansas - The Daily Planet's Roof
Lois is waiting on the roof when I fly over and land in front of her.
"Ms. Lane?" I ask gently.
"Oh my God. You really can fly!" Lois said excitedly.
She pulls out her notebook and begins pestering me with questions as she clicks her recording device.
I SPENT THE NIGHT WITH SUPERMAN
BY: LOIS LANE
The article contained a glowing story of how he flew her around the city and talked to her in the sky.
INTERVIEW:
Lois: Ok, let's start with the good stuff. You're obviously fast and you can fly. What guns you got in your arsenal?
Superman: I can shoot heat rays from my eyes. I have enhanced senses. I can see through things. I have super breath and arctic breath. I'm invulnerable to harm. I don't just have super strength. I have a telekinetic power to keep objects together when I move them. I could lift a cruise ship without it cracking in half. It's a critical piece of the package to avoid things falling apart under their own weight when I try to pick them up.
Lois: How fast are you?
Superman: Faster than a speeding bullet. I can also leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Lois: When you said earlier you're invulnerable, do you mean nothing can hurt you?
Superman: Well, nothing from this world can.
Lois: What do you mean by that?
Superman: Kryptonite, a green meteor rock that is actually irradiated pieces of my home world can harm Kryptonians.
Lois: So you're saying you're not from this planet?
Superman: No, I'm from the planet Krypton.
Lois: You're an alien!?
Superman: I prefer the term intergalactic traveller.
Lois: How can you be so blase about this!? This is big news! It's the question we've always wondered: Are we alone in the universe? You must be aware that this will shock people!
Superman: Well, I can imagine some people will be shocked, but a lot of people won't. I saw on the History Channel they had programs about how the aliens built the pyramids. There are also UFO enthusiasts. Then, there's The X Files. Plenty of people believe in aliens.
Lois: It's one thing to wonder and fantasize about aliens, but it's another to know for sure. I'm telling you, this is huge news! Aren't you worried the world is going to panic?
Superman: I tend to have more faith in people, especially the American people. I think they will have an open mind once they see what I can do to help. I've already been helping for years.
Lois: What do you mean? How is it that no one knew this?
Superman: You might have heard the rumors of a Red-Blue Blur or The Blur. That was me. I've been active all throughout the world, but especially American cities. I love America. I grew up here.
Lois: What!? You're American!
Superman: Couldn't you tell with the accent?
Lois: (laughs) Well, I guess when you put it that way. Yes, I can. You said you grew up here. When did you arrive in America? Or on Earth for that matter?
Superman: I arrived here as a baby alone in my own spaceship.
Lois: Why were you sent alone? Are there any others?
Superman: I'm the Last Son of Krypton. I also have a cousin, but I respect her privacy. I found her ship a few years back - she was in suspended animation, so I rescued her. Anyway, I was sent here by my parents. The planet Krypton was on the verge of destruction. My father tried to warn the authorities of the planet Krypton, but they refused to take action, they thought my father was just an alarmist. So they threatened him to silence. My father built a spaceship, he only had time to build it for me. Plus, he wanted to spend every last minute trying to save Krypton. He stayed until the end. My earliest memory is of my parents placing me in my spaceship and sending me off. They truly loved me and were worried I would find nobody to love me.
Lois: And did you find anyone to love you? Who raised you?
Superman: I found a loving family. They were the best parents in the world. I shudder to think what someone would do with my powers if they were raised by bad people, but thankfully, I don't have to worry about that. My parents are the kindest, most loving, supportive people imaginable. Now, don't get me wrong, they could be strict when they needed to be, but they only did that to teach me right from wrong. They helped me manage my powers as I grew up and kept me safe. One of their biggest fears was being discovered and being taken away by the government and being experimented on. They're still worried about that to this day.
Lois: I'm glad you had such great parents. How was your childhood?
Superman: It was great. I had friends, I went camping, and I loved astronomy. Ironically enough, I enjoyed staring at the stars and planets. I didn't even know I was from another planet until I was 14. My parents didn't want me to think that I wasn't wanted. I told you they are the most selfless people imaginable.
Lois: You're very lucky. Not many people get that type of upbringing. There are a lot of broken homes out there.
Superman: I'm well aware of my good fortunes. I count my blessings often.
Lois: At the same time, you're the last male from your race. That's gotta suck.
Superman: Well, I consider myself from Earth and always thought I was human until I was 14, so I tend to not think of the gravity of the situation from a near extinction standpoint.
Lois: So there are no other ships on the way? You're not the first wave of invasion? (she laughs)
Superman: No. Quite frankly, according to information left for me by my father, there are 28 known galaxies in the universe with sentient life. There are plenty of other planets people would go to before Earth. But considering millions of my race used to travel the stars often, they did sometimes visit Earth. My father personally visited Earth in the 1960s. Kryptonians used to travel here often hundreds and thousands of years ago. Their impact is seen all throughout civilizations in the past.
Lois: So aliens have been here all along!?
Superman: Yes. And the Earth is still controlled by humanity so there's no reason to panic. And as long as I'm alive, Earth will be under my protection.
Lois: What is it you stand for?
Superman: Truth, justice, and the American way.
Lois: You're kidding, right? That's so corny. But awfully sweet. Let's move onto your vital statistics. How old are you?
Superman: Old enough. Aren't you not supposed to ask that of people?
Lois: That only applies to women.
Superman: (he laughs) That's awfully sexist, Ms. Lane.
Lois: Moving on. Height?
Superman: 6'4"
Lois: Weight?
Superman: 220 pounds
Lois: And I take it the rest of your bodily functions are what we'd consider...normal?
Superman: I beg your pardon?
Lois: Well - putting it delicately - do you eat food?
Superman: When I'm hungry.
Lois: Would you like some snacks? I have some in my purse.
Superman: What kind?
Lois: Never mind. I forgot I was stress eating. How about some wine?
Superman: I never drink when I fly. (he laughs)
Lois: You said you can see through anything?
Superman: Pretty much.
Lois: And you're totally impervious to any pain?
Superman: So far.
Lois: What color underwear am I wearing?
Superman: Pink.
Lois: Ah….so Superman, huh? You can't just go by that all the time. What's your name?
Superman: You mean like a Ralph or something?
Lois: Yeah.
Superman: My name is Kal-El.
Lois: Uh huh. Do you like pink?
Superman: (he grins) I like pink very much, Lois.
Lois: You mentioned fighting for truth, justice, and the American way. You'll end up fighting every elected official in this country.
Superman: I'm sure you don't really mean that, Lois.
Lois: Listen. With all these strange powers of yours…
Superman: You find them strange?
Lois: Well, the average Joe can't deliver an airmail letter without putting a stamp on it.
Superman: I wouldn't do that. It's against the law.
Lois: You sound like some kind of Boy Scout.
Superman: I actually was a Boy Scout.
Lois: I don't believe this.
Superman: I never lie.
Lois: Ah. Just how fast do you fly, by the way?
Superman: I've never really timed myself. Let's see. (he thinks for a while) Let's find out together, okay?
Lois: How do you propose we do that?
Superman: Take a ride with me. Now. Would you like to do that?
Lois: A ride? You mean would I like to fly?
Superman: Well, I'll be handling the flying of course.
Lois: This is amazing! Yes!
Superman: Where are you going?
Lois: I'm going to get my jacket. It's cold up there, isn't it?
Superman: You'll be warm enough. I'll wrap you in my cape.
Lois: People have been saying you're a scam artist. That you're rigged with wires. Like Peter Pan.
Superman: Peter Pan flew with children, Lois. In a fairy tale. (he laughs) But still, if you'd like to think happy thoughts while we fly, it certainly couldn't hurt.