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Of Crowns and Rascals

Fern_is_Plant
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Synopsis
Ten years ago, the Age of Old Kings fell asunder. Abled-men with steel and magic toppled the monarchs of yesterday, sending them spiraling down the arcades of oblivion. With siege after siege, no banner stood against the change led by Haelrhyx Magna, the Kingslayer. He, his second-in-command Xasne Daidroxa, and his many generals used the tools of war to carve a new future, one in their very image. Then years now, with King Alteria the Old's throne underneath Haelrhyx's ass, he and his wife Xasne tackle the greatest challenge of all: Boredom. He expected a life of skullduggery and infighting, of war rooms and politics, and of assassins trying to take his life. He got bagels, his wife, and assassins trying to take his life. Sigh. Of Crowns and Rascals, everyone.
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Chapter 1 - Chapter 0 - 0: A Very Rex-y Morning

All of Alteria, with its massive city streets and winding alleys, rouse to consciousness at the first winks of the fifth sun. The trees sway along the rays of the dawn, accompanied by cold whiffs of the morning mana. None are safe from the call of the daylight that shakes everyone's eyes open.

Not even the King himself.

Rex yawns, sitting up from his bed. He runs a hand through the tangled ink-black tendrils he calls hair as he scans the room with a gaze of half-wakefulness. Besides him, a small green lump remains unaware of the time, snoring the sunlight away.

A small frown grows on him as he stares at the breathing ball of morning uselessness. How long does she intend to rest? Gently, he shakes her.

The emerald woman, as if to spite everything that exists, remains asleep against the natural order of the world.

"Xasne," he grumbles as he digs his finger into the snoring woman's cheek, "it's morning. Let's eat breakfast."

Ever adamant to stay unconscious, Xasne slaps his hand away, mumbling something about "a big baby who can't piss on their own" as she pulls the blanket closer, curling up into an impenetrable cocoon of comfort.

He sighs, his sleepiness fading into hunger as his stomach growls.

"Xasne, it's morning. Let's eat breakfast."

The gorgon groans, grimacing in their sleep. "You go eat by yourself. You're a big boy. Stop being a bitch."

His brow furrows in irritation, and he nudges her once more.

This time, she doesn't even acknowledge him.

Anger wells from within. Fine. If she wants to force his hand, then so be it. The Kingslayer huffs, returning back under the sheets.

Xasne mumbles in her sleep.

"If you fart, you'll be eating through a straw."

Haelrhyx Magna, King of Alteria, huffs, crosses his arms, and leaves to eat on his lonesome.

...