Ruhban stands in the falling light, staring at the closed wooden gates. With one hand clutched in his cloak over his heart, the youngest twin cannot bring himself to look away from where his brothers vanished from sight. The rest of the fort, having lost interest a long time ago, have returned to their normal duties. Only Ruhban is left, hoping desperately that two people will enter those gates unscathed.
Not long ago, roaring shook the air around the fort. The dragon prince is very much alive and apparently engaged Leonidas and Cecil in battle. The injured dragon should be no match for the two of them. Even with his incapability to kill, Leonidas is one of the most skilled people Nayanamh has ever produced. And Cecil, Cecil was the only person to have been awarded the rank of Golden General within the first month of being deployed. He killed a dragon prince, on his own, two weeks after joining the front lines. Cecil is a legend, unparalleled in skill and ambition. Every dragon he has faced, he has killed.
But with the proximity of the last roar heard, compared with the first, it sounds as if the dragon was traveling fast. Much too quickly to have been injured.
I saw that dragon go down with a bolt sticking out of his shoulder, Ruhban thinks. There should be no way he's moving quickly with a wound like that. What if there are other dragons? What if the survivors found the prince first? What if Leonidas and Cecil are facing multiple enemies? What if the prince is proficient in magic?
What if my brothers never come back.
Closing his eyes, Ruhban tightens his grip on his cloak and breathes softly, "Come back, please."
"You proved yourself a coward, a traitor, and a failure. Hopefully, that dragon will tear you into bloody ribbons before I have to kill it." Cecil's words, unexpectedly, ring in the boy's ears, and Ruhban opens his eyes again.
What happened, that Cecil would say something so vicious? Sure, Leo might have failed his mission, and sure, both brothers were disappointed, but Ruhban has never wished ill of his twin. When Cecil enlisted into the army and left his three younger siblings alone, Leonidas was the one who stepped up and took the role of protector. There is a quiet strength about Leo that Ruhban has always recognized and taken refuge in. Cecil, apparently, cannot see that. And the eldest brother was going to hit the youngest twin. He would have, had Leonidas not stepped in.
Cecil, who is Ruhban's role model, his hero, would have hit the youngest brother. Cecil did hit Leonidas. He told the eldest twin twice now, that he wished he was dead. He's been… cold.
What happened?
The warm, accepting, encouraging, loving brother that Ruhban admires seems to have changed. Leo saw it, it seems, far before Ruhban did. If Cecil had not tried to strike the youngest twin, Ruhban probably would have never even considered abandoning his stance that Cecil is the perfect brother. The hero that both Ruhban and Leonidas strove to be like. The hero that drove both boys to join the armies of Nayanamh in the first place.
We both want to be like you, Cecil. All we've ever wanted to do is live up to your name. If not for that single strike, Ruhban would have loyally taken Cecil's side against Leonidas again and again. He would have gone to Leo on his knees and begged his twin to forgive Cecil, to know that the eldest brother loved them and just wanted the best for them.
But Cecil hit Leonidas. He hit him, he hit him because Leo stopped him from hitting his twin. "Don't you dare touch him." There was no terror or confusion in Leonidas's eyes after the incident, just a world-ending rage. The only time there was pain in that green gaze was when the boy looked at his twin.
I hurt him… I hurt him badly and I didn't even realize it.
Ruhban knew, of course, that Leonidas was angry with him. The twin had avoided Rue with a passion after the night that he almost froze to death. Ruhban just assumed it was a fight like any other, both were angry and both said things they didn't mean. No big deal, they'd both move on eventually and all would be well.
"You backed down, Ruhban. You let me take it, let him say those things." "I'm your twin."
It was not that kind of fight. Leonidas knew that something was off with Cecil, and Ruhban was so infatuated he even went so far as to take Cecil's side against his twin. He tried to defend Cecil's actions, and now… Leonidas is out there with a brother who doesn't care if he dies and a vicious dragon prince.
Moving his gaze from the gates to the wall surrounding them, Ruhban whispers, "Please come back to me, Leo. I'm sorry that I hurt you, I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you. Just please… come back."
Something's wrong with Cecil, and you protected me from him without hesitation. The things he says about you aren't correct. You're not weak. You stood up against your hero to protect me.
"Please come back," Ruhban breathes again, closing his eyes against the aching in his heart.
Does it really matter so much, Rue thinks, if Leo didn't kill that dragon? He never wanted to take lives. He's always been geared toward protection.
"Come back to me."
The cold is starting to sting, latching onto the boy's skin and seeping into his bones. But he stands, immovable, as the sun makes its way across the sky. The forest beyond the fort walls is silent.
The fight is over.
So where are my brothers?
For close to another hour, Ruhban stands quietly in front of the gate, hoping and praying that both brothers return when those gates finally open. And then, finally:
"Open the gate!"
The shout comes from one of the watchtowers, its occupant leaning out of the window and flagging the end of his cloak in the wind.
Ruhban moves, even before he is aware he has done it and has slipped between the slowly opening gates and out into the snow. Down the road, Cecil is limping up the snowy path, his weapons nowhere to be seen. He looks remarkably intact, which is relieving. But…
"Where's Leonidas?" Ruhban asks as his eldest brother comes level with him, desperately scanning the snowy expanse behind him.
For a moment, Cecil simply looks at his brother, silent. There are burn marks circling his throat and dents in his armor. It's obvious he didn't win the fight.
Panic rising in his throat, Ruhban tries again, croaking, "Where's Leo?"
Once again, Cecil maintains his silence, letting his green eyes slide back to the forest.
Ruhban can feel as something deep in his chest cracks. Rage grips him, shaking him to his bones, fueled by world-ending grief. Before he can think about it, before his rationality can warn him against it, Ruhban grabs Cecil by the neck of his armor and drags the eldest brother around to face him.
"Where is my brother, Cecil," Ruhban breathes as tremors erupt across his body. "Where is my twin."
"I couldn't--" Cecil starts, his voice low as if he's the one hurting. Ruhban shoves him back, hard, and the eldest brother hisses in pain as his weight comes down on his right leg.
He's injured, a part of Ruhban worries. It is answered by another, the only part of him that has perhaps realized that his hero is no longer the person he thought he was: Good.
"You left him to die, didn't you," Ruhban breathes, feeling tears sting his eyes. "You wanted him dead."
"Ruhban," Cecil tries, reaching out as if to grab his younger brother.
Slapping his hand away, Ruhban swallows the grief threatening to overwhelm him, and croaks, "Go to hell."
With that, the youngest twin turns around and stalks back into the fort, leaving his oldest brother to limp after him.
Where's Leo? Where's Leonidas? Where's my twin? The questions are on loop in the youngest brother's head, drowning everything else out. By Cecil's actions…
He's dead.
No. No. Absolutely not. Leonidas isn't dead, he can't be dead.
The shivers haven't stopped, and the surviving twin can't breathe. His chest is collapsing as if a giant has ceased him around the midriff and is crushing him slowly.
"Ruhban?" a voice asks, somewhere far away. That's Fjero, no doubt. He's a stick in the mud for most things, but he genuinely cares for his soldiers.
Ruhban can't find the energy to answer him, can't find the care to answer him. Instead, he brushes right past his commanding officer as if in a trance.
Leo's dead. Leonidas is gone. My twin is gone. My twin… my twin my twin my twin.
He can't breathe.
Leo can't be dead. Didn't he promise to always be there for me should I need him?
Ruhban stumbles into the last barracks building in the row, long since abandoned and awaiting habitation that will never come. His breaths coming in gasps, the youngest twin hurries over to the farthest bunk and collapses into the space behind it.
Huddled against the far wall, hidden from any prying eyes, Ruhban coils his knees to his chest and allows the tears to come.