This week has been crazy. Even though it was only the start of this year I was already exhausted and behind in so many classes. If I want to become valedictorian next year and the best in my year I'll have to work harder. Which is why I've been in the library for three hours now. Ron and Hermione were there as well but left after two hours to get ready for some get-together at the Gryffindor dormitory. Fred and George, who are hosting it, invited me as well since we're really close but I declined. I wanted to finish all the work I have left today so I can relax a bit over the weekend. But being alone in here and being tired made it really hard for me. Not even the energy drink I sneaked in, helped me. It's almost 6pm and I need to finish the rest of the homework within the next hour so I can be punctual for the tutoring class.
I was so nervous. Not because of the children. I was pretty good at Defence against the dark arts in first and second year so teaching them shouldn't be a problem. Instead I didn't want to face Malfoy again. I've been ignoring him for the whole week which wasn't really easy considering that he's in the same house and has the same classes like me, but I still somehow managed to see him as little as possible.
"Y/L/N."
I look up. "Fred? What are you doing here? Don't you have a get-together to host?"
He sits down next to me and his eyes widen when he sees the bunch of books and papers on the table in front of me. "Yes but I wanted to convince you so join as well. But it seems like you're busy doing whatever you are doing. I get that you want to be the best student and all but you should get some rest."
"I'll just finish this. Then I'll be done for this week. But I don't think I'll be able to join tonight." I lay back against my chair stretching. "I still have that tutoring thing with Malfoy."
"How is it going with him anyway? We weren't able to talk this whole week." Even before Ron and I started dating I was friends with Fred. We had the same interests and when I started dating his brother our friendship became even closer.
"Don't get me started." I massage the sides of my head. "This boy is giving me such a headache. You won't believe what I said to him on Monday. I won't tell you though because I wouldn't want you to think so low of me."
"I'd never." He smiles. "I mean I already think low of you and I doubt it can get any lower."
"Ha ha." I roll my eyes. "So funny, Weasley."
"That's my charm."
"Go back to your get-together, Fred. You're distracting me." I don't actually mind the company. I don't feel that alone but I can't get anything done when he's around because he keeps distracting me.
"Join later. After the tutor lesson. It's pretty boring now anyway, but some Slytherins are bringing some stuff , if you know what I mean."
"Tempting. Okay, you convinced me." I give in. Can't say no to good stuff. "But you really have to go now. I still need to get my work done."
"Fine. I'll go. See you later then." He hugs me goodbye from the back as he leaves again. I try to continue working but get interrupted again when someone is sitting next to me again. Who the fuck dares to-
"Malfoy." I groan. "Get lost."
"How rude."
"Listen." I aggressively close my book and face him. "If you haven't noticed; I am trying to not get involved with you any more than I have to. Please just stop being an annoying bitch and stop bothering me. Go sit somewhere else."
"I am sick of you talking to me like I am a fucking joke. If I want to sit here I will. And I don't give a flying fuck about what you want." Malfoy replied in a pissed off voice his eyes filled with anger.
"Okay. Then I'll leave." I was about to pack my stuff when his hand grabbed my wrist. Fucking. Again. "Stop. Touching. Me."
"Why are you acting so prude? I know you aren't half as innocent as you claim to be."
I check if anyone is around and then grab him by his collar pulling him with me to the back of the library. When I find a spot where no one will see us I shove him against a book shelf. "What the fuck do you mean by that?" Anger took over.
"Just that." He fixed his shirt. "I heard that you've been fucking Weasley and Diggory. But Ron's brother as well? That's wild."
"How dare you!" I take out my wand holding it against his neck causing him to hiss. "Fred is my friend. And I don't have to explain myself to you! A complete stranger."
He just grins.
"What is it, Malfoy? Didn't you get enough pussy the last few years or why are you so obsessed with my uterus?" Is he seriously judging me for having slept with two guys? One of them being my boyfriend of years. This misogynistic ass will regret it if he doesn't stop interfering in my business.
"I got more than enough, don't worry." His Hand reached out to my wand throwing it away. "I am just wondering why you're so stiff about someone touching you when you obviously don't mind getting touched and fucked by strangers. I was told that Diggory wasn't your friend himself before you did it with him." Malfoy grabbed my wrists and pushed me against the shelf violently pressing me against it.
"Stop. Stop putting your nose in my business. If I want to fuck half the school then I will do so. I don't have to explain myself to anyone. Especially not you. And even if I did that, it wouldn't mean that you had the right to touch me. With that being said you should better let me go, before I kick you in the balls."
"If you're that uncomfortable with me touching you then why are you sweating?" His grip tightens. "And why is your heart beating this fast?"
I flinch when his hand travels from my wrist to my waist drawing circles onto it. "Because I am literally being touched by someone I don't want to be touched by. I'll scream."
"Oh you will." He smirks and leans in closer. I panic and kick his leg causing him to groan in pain and almost trip.
"I warned you." I lean down and lift his head by holding his chin. "I am not some fucking toy you can mess with, Malfoy. If you ever dare to touch me again I will make you regret it. And this kick was just a warm up. I have no clue what girls you were surrounded with at your old school but I am not like them. Don't underestimate me, you bloody wanker."
I turn around on my heel and go back to my seat trying to finish my homework. But instead I keep getting haunted with memories and doubts. Did I behave inappropriately with Fred for him to think so? No one ever mentioned that I was acting too flirty with him whatsoever. Maybe they just didn't because they didn't want to sound rude though. But Ron would've told me, right? He would've said something if my friendship with Fred made him feel uncomfortable.
How expected I didn't get shit done. I sat there for an hour thinking about bunch of stuff instead of actually finishing my work. Fucking Malfoy distracting me from my fucking work. And now I have to see him again in the tutoring lesson. I could just jump off a tower though, then I'd have an excuse for not having to go.
What were Malfoy's intentions though? It's obvious he hates me so why would he bother arguing with me. He could just let it go and ignore me the way I ignore him. Goose bumps spread across my skin when I think of him touching me earlier. I really hated being touched by people I don't know. I mean I didn't know Diggory that well back then neither but I still had this subconscious feeling that he was trustworthy and well- there was also lots of alcohol involved. Malfoy had no right to say the things he said especially with the intentions he had in mind. Who does he think he is to judge me based on the things he's heard about me? How pathetic does one have to be to say such things to someone they don't even know. Malfoy things I guess. Prejudices and hate is in his family after all.
"Excuse me, Miss?" A young girl taps on my shoulder and interrupts my thoughts. "Are you out tutor?"
"Um- yea. I am. Are you one of Abram's students?" Stupid question. Obviously she is. Why else would a second grader talk to me and ask me if I am the tutor. I take a slight look into the classroom where the lesson will be held. There are about ten students sitting in a circle and a blonde haired guy leaning against the desk in the front with his arms crossed. Seeing Malfoy caused me to frown again. He did look good though. His hair was messy and single hair strands covered his well-structured face. His arms were crossed in front of his chest and he looked like he was lost in his thoughts as he is starring holes into the air.
"Yes." The girl's voice takes me back to reality again. "I was just checking because you were standing here for about five minutes now. We are waiting for you."
"Oh I am sorry." I blush. "Go ahead." She nods and enters the room and I follow her. All heads turn around facing me. "Hey everyone. Sorry for being late."
"It's okay." A boy said. I think he might be a first grader. Or he's just really small. He's kinda reminding me of Harry. I smile. "I don't mean to be rude but could we start of slowly? All of us are tired and there is a first grader party today."
"If you wasted less thoughts on partying and more on studying you wouldn't be here in the first place. So no, we will do a normal lesson." Malfoy speaks and doesn't bother looking at me. This boy is confusing me so much. He can't even look at me but then on other days he's pressing me against walls and is holding my wrists.
The children's faces turn into sadness and I angrily stomp to Malfoy sitting down next to him on the desk. "Mr. Malfoy here is just joking. Of course we will start off easily. And you can also leave a bit earlier today if you promise to behave."
"Yeah!" They clap their hands and bless me with happy smiles.
"The fuck are you doing? We aren't getting points for giving them a fun time but for teaching them shit." Malfoy whispers to me.
"You can't teach them shit if they don't like you."
"Of course you can."
"Can we stop arguing? At least for now." I notice the kids looking at us with a confused look on their faces. "Let's start off easy today. It's been a hard first week for them and us. We can get right into it next week."
"You're too fucking soft. They won't respect you." He groans and sits down as well.
"There's a difference between being respected and feared. And being stone cold and unfriendly won't earn you any respect." I've been teaching students for a few years now to earn some extra money so I am already familiar with certain behavioural traits children have.
"Fine. If you say so."
"Great." I clap into my hands and raise my voice. "So everyone. My name is Y/N. I am currently a student in the sixth year and I am a Slytherin." I look at Draco only to receive a confused look back.
"Introduce yourself." I whisper.
"Why?"
"Just..." I exhale. How can a person be this unlikable? "Just do it."
"Alright." His voice is even deeper when he's annoyed. "My name is Malfoy."
"Isn't that your last name?" A girl asks.
"Yes, but that's how you will address me."
This stuck up jerk. Why can't he be nice just for one? I try to lift up the mood again by telling everyone to come up to the front and introduce themselves. Whilst they do I keep observing Malfoy who doesn't even pay attention to any of the things happening in front of him. Why did Professor Abrams think it was a good idea to let this cold hearted boy teach a class of children?
After the small introduction we just went over some basics and collected some spells and topics they were struggling with. Since they had a party to go to and I was invited to the Gryffindor get-together at the Weasley's we ended class early. It's not that dramatic though, it's only the first week after all.
"We just wasted a whole hour." He put away the book he was reading throughout the whole class.
"We didn't waste shit. You wouldn't know though, you were busy reading your book anyway." I sarcastically replied untying my hair. There is a small mirror next to the desk so I bow down a bit and put some slight makeup on. Nothing too fancy, only enough for me to not look like a dead person.
"What are you doing?"
"None of your business." I take off my robe and tuck the tight red turtleneck into my pants.
"Are you going to the Gryffindor get-together?"
"How I said: none of your business." How does he know about it though? I put my makeup back in my backpack and run my fingers through my hair to give it a more natural and loose look.
"You shouldn't surround yourself with blood traitors."
This bitch. "You should keep your conservative and racist opinion in medieval times then."
"I'm not being racist."
"Yes, you are." I take a step closer to him trying not to puke when I realise that's he's checking me out. "Things changed around here while you were gone. No one cares about houses or the purity of ones blood anymore. Just let people live, Malfoy."
"Don't take everything I say to heart."
"My eyes' I snap my finger. 'are up here."
He smirks. Ew. Perv.
"However. See you next week." I leave him behind and make my way to the Gryffindor dormitory secretly. The professors are well aware of the fact that we keep sneaking into other houses but we still aren't allowed to do so officially. I leave through the window of the washroom downstairs and enter the Gryffindor house through the open window of their washroom. This brings back so many memories of last year. In the beginning of out relationship both of us were really shy and hesitant. We barely went on dates since it was awkward for us to be alone but after getting used to it we were inseparable.
I feel like if I still dated Ron, everything would be so much easier. But it'd still be wrong. I really wish I would have those kind of feelings for him. But I sadly don't. I love him, I do. But it's not strong enough for me to stay with him forever. Our relationship seems like a beautiful fever dream that happened a long time ago and that'll forever hold a special memory in my heart. But we have to stop coming back to each other. Every time any of us feel sad or alone we seek for a shoulder to cry on and end up making our friendship even more complicated. Both of us have to stop using each other to feel better about ourselves.
Now I drifted away. Great. Where was I? Right. The party. I make my way upstairs and knock on the door to the community room.
"Password?"
"Let me in, Fred."
"Y/N!" He tears open the door and everyone starts applauding.
"Stop." I let out a deep laugh covering my face in embarrassment.
"Is Y/N actually socialising?" Cedric exclaims and dramatically holds his chest as Fred closes the door behind me. There are about twenty people here; most of them are Gryffindor. There are a few Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws including Luna, and only one other Slytherin: Zabini. He was quite the dick a few years ago but when it started to be considered normal to be friends with different houses and when there was no Malfoy around to play students off against each other, he became chill to be around with. I didn't hang with him much but since he was close with Cedric and Cedric was part of our friend group I got to spend a lot of time with him.
"Shut it, Diggory. Unlike you I don't study for half an hour and then piss off to get wasted." I jokingly snap back and fall down on the coach next to Hermione and Harry who are in the middle of a heated argument. "What are they fighting about?"
"No one knows." Ron answers and offers me a drink which is decline. Bad memories.
"This is what you came here for." Fred jumps onto the seat cushion in front of me and hands me a joint causing me to smirk.
"Won't the teachers smell it?" I wonder as I take one deep pull and tilt my head back. This is what I needed after an exhausting day.
"They don't mind at this point." George laughs. "I think they are used to it already."
"Leave some for me." Ron takes the joint away and takes a pull himself.
George shakes his head. "You shouldn't do drugs, brother. You get all depressed afterwards."
"You shouldn't be here, brother." Ron counters back. "You already graduated."
"I am just visiting our Freddy boy since he had better rings to do than study last year."
Everyone laughs. We just sit there the whole time talking about bunch of random stuff, exchanging stories, complaining about the new professors, students and eventually we end up talking about Malfoy.
"But why would he just come back?" Hermione murmured and then continued. "I mean why would he leave out of no where years ago and then suddenly come back? Does anyone know the reason he left Hogwarts?"
"Well-" Ron started.
"No." I interrupted him, glaring. Ron and Fred were the only ones who knew the actual reason he left. "Probably had something to do with his parents' business or something."
"Probably. But out of no where?" Hermione keeps questioning.
I start to feel uncomfortable and move around in my seat taking another pull from the blow.
"Just let it go, Granger. He's not worth talking about anyway." Ron smiles at me inconspicuously so no one else notices. I'm glad he still has my back after everything we went through.
Hermione finally agrees. "You're right. Let's play some games!"
We decided to play beer pong which was like the worst game they could've chosen. My alcohol tolerance isn't that high and I tend to do irrational choices when drunk. But I didn't want to kill the mood so I played for a few rounds. A few rounds that were enough to get me completely wasted. But so was everyone else. At like 3 AM some Gryffindors who weren't at the party complained about the noise which is why we decided to call it a day.
Ron offered to bring me back to my dorm but I assured him it was fine. I tripped two second after that which is why he came to the conclusion that it was indeed not fine so he accompanied me to the dorm.
"Thanks, brother." I giggle as he opens the door to the Slytherin dorm. "I'll take it from here."
"Are you sure? Like a hundred percent?"
I try my best not to trip. "Ron, if you bring me all the way up to my room I won't be able to control myself since I get really horny when drunk."
He blushes and dramatically gasps for air. "How- how can you say stuff like that? I-"
"Don't be prude." A loud laugh leaves my lips as I tap on his ass before entering the dorm. "See ya tomorrow, flat ass!"
I am standing in front of the girls' rooms not remembering the passcode. Shit. I knew that drinking wouldn't be a good idea.
"Y/L/N!"
"Fuck!" I scream. "Zabini, you fucking twat! I thought you were a teacher. Where were you?"
"In some Gryffindor's room. I mean I guess you could say I was in her as well." He smirks and I groan in disgust. "But the professors found out about the get-together and now they're wandering the halls."
"I forgot the code."
"What do you mean you forgot the code?" He raises an eyebrow. His hair is messy and his shirt is a little bit ripped on the collar. Oh he definitely had some fun.
"I just don't remember it." My head aches and my limbs feel heavy. Also it feels like I am starving but at the same time I'll puke if someone mentions food right now. Why did I think that smoking and drinking with barely anything in my stomach would be a good idea anyway?
"Fuck." Blaise grunts.
"Yeah." My brain isn't able to completely understand the seriousness of the situation right now- obviously. Or else I wouldn't be that unbothered by the fact that I am standing in the halls at 3 am stoned and wasted. If the teachers found out it'd have really serious consequences that go far beyond detention or some extra essays.
"I can't believe we have to deal with this kind of inappropriate behaviour on the first weekend in this semester!" A voice appears in the far. Shit. McGonagall.
"Fuck." I whisper and can't even process what's going on when Zabini pulls me by my sleeve and runs into the boys' dormitory. "Zabini! The fuck."
"Be quiet!" He silently warns me as he keeps pulling me with him all the way up to one of the rooms. "Stay quiet."
The room is dark and since my eyes aren't used to the darkness yet I can't see a thing. We wait until the voices of McGonagall and what appears to be Mr. Abrams completely disappear which is when I can finally exhale.
"Where are we?" I whisper just in case. My heart is still beating fast and an unwell feeling caused me to almost lose balance. Running wasn't the best idea.
"My room."
My eyes widen. "What the-"
"I didn't really have a choice, did I?" He interrupts me and leans against the wall taking deep breaths and controlling his breathing. His cheeks are red and he sinks down to his knees. "I hate running."
"Try it drunk and high." My hands look for a light switch. Slowly I begin to see single silhouettes across the room like a chair or a desk. But it was all still very blurry. When my fingers trace something on the wall that feels like a lightning switch I bump into someone. "Ugh, Blaise! Watch where you're going."
He places his hand on mine and with a little pit of pressure he turns the light switch on. The room suddenly brightens up causing me to close my eyes. Too bright. After a few seconds I slowly open them only to realise that the person standing in front of me isn't Zabini.
"Can't get enough of me, can you, Y/L/N?"
"Malfoy."