It's pouring outside. The raindrops fall against my window creating a relaxing and nostalgic sound. When I was younger I used to be afraid of rain because my cousins used to tell me the scariest stories of monsters coming alive whenever it's storming or raining. So whenever it started raining I sneaked into my parents' bed and laid between them. It was the only time and place where I felt secure and protected. My father always used to stroke my head and tell me the prettiest fairy tails to take my fear away. But it wasn't the stories that stopped me from being scared. It was my father's presence. Eventually I got older and my fear for rainy weathers disappeared but I still pretended to be scared just so I can have an excuse to be with him. I loved my dad so much. He was the nicest, most humble guy I knew.
"And like honestly who the fuck does he think he is to dictate my life like that?" Kamila's cynical voice gets my out of my thoughts. My eyes wander from the window to her. She's running around the room complaining about her father. Their relationship isn't the best. Their whole family situation is confusing in general but especially the relationship those two have.
I missed some details but I think her father doesn't want her to go to Hogwarts and work for the Daily Prophet after her graduation.
"What do you want me to say, Kam? Parents are like that." Kieran leans back against the wall and plays with my fingers squishing every finger softly. He is so needy for affection, it's unreal. I gotta say, in the beginning it made me feel really uncomfortable because I didn't know him so it felt really weird to be touched constantly. You can't blame me for thinking that he had other intentions. But the more I got to know him the more I realised that he's just being himself and showing love to everyone. And honestly; this is what makes him so special and unique. He makes you feel comfortable and protected and no matter how strong you always pretend to be, this is what you need sometimes.
"Do you think mom would talk to him?"
"Mom isn't really on good terms with your dad, and you know it." He explains and turns to me. "Did you lose weight?"
"Did I?" I didn't notice. I've been quite stressed the past few days and I didn't eat regularly but I didn't really notice that I had lost weight.
"Yeah, kind of. Your face is slimmer than the last time I saw you."
"Excuse me' Kamila interferes snapping her fingers. 'for interrupting you two love birds. But I am desperate over here, in case you haven't noticed."
"How could we not? You'll burn a hole in the floor if you keep walking in circles."
"No time for your sarcasm, Y/N." She jumps on the bed right between Kieran and me and rests her hand on my thigh. "Why can't I have an uncomplicated father like Kieran does?"
"My father is not uncomplicated. He's just less a dick." He lets out a small smile and pads the top of her head. "He'll understand eventually. You have to give him time. It's not easy for him to let you go."
"I transferred to Hogwarts two years ago. He should've been used to it already. How much time does he need for him to finally accept it?"
"Just try to keep it lowkey for a while." I suggest. "Don't mention the whole witchcraft thing for a while. He knows how dangerous this world can be; it's only natural for him to be scared."
"I know but it's still annoying. He really made me miss the first week of Hogwarts just because he wouldn't let me leave."
"You didn't miss much though." Kieran announces.
"Really?" Kam plays with her blonde hair. She transferred to Hogwarts two years ago and we immediately became friends especially since we are room mates. And because Kieran and her are inseparable I naturally became friends with him as well. "I overheard some girls talk about a hot blondie though. Who's that?"
"Probably Malfoy."
I look at Kieran. "People think he's hot?"
"You don't?" He asks me and raises an eyebrow. I mean he is but I'd never admit it.
"Wait- hold up." She sits up and holds my face within her hands. "You're telling me the Draco Malfoy is back at Hogwarts? And you didn't bother telling me before."
"I didn't think you would care."
"Why are you so excited about Malfoy though? You don't even know him." She transferred here after Draco was already gone so she's never seen him before and people didn't talk about him much especially after he left.
"Remember when mom and your dad hosted that Christmas party last year? He was there with his family." Her cheeks turn red and a really big smile blooms on her face.
"So what?" I ask, genuinely confused.
"He's super hot. Oh my god, is he seeing anyone? Tell me he's single. Please."
"Can you stop drooling over a guy when I'm here."
"Are you gonna go all protective now, brother?" She teases him and pushes him away to sit closer to me. "Tell me. Tell me. Tell me."
"I don't think he's seeing someone. I barely talk to him." I lie.
"Yeah, she rather sleeps in his room instead."
"Dude!" I exclaim and punch his shoulder. When Kamila's eyes widen I just know that her mind is wandering places. "No not like that. I swear."
"You and Malfoy?"
"No. No, I promise there's absolutely nothing going on between us." I despise this man with my whole heart and I'd rather date Dumbledore than him. "I was wasted last night and didn't know the code to the girls' dormitory and Blaise who's his roommate let me stay there and-"
"Wait. You threw a party? Without me?"
"Stop the puppy eyes. I didn't even know if you were coming at all this year." I excuse myself and get up. I really need to take a shower. The group will meet up later for lunch at Hogsmeade and I would really not want to look the way I do now. "I'll take a shower. We will grab something to eat later with the gang, do you want guys want to join?"
The both agree and Kieran leaves before I hop into the shower. When I come out the room is cleaned. Thank you. Kam is sitting cross legged on her bed with a small mirror in her hand putting on some makeup. The jogging suit she used to wear earlier has now become a pair of light blue jeans and a basic white crop top. Oh, to have that body.
"Girly. Is that too much?" She points at the one eye she put makeup on.
"No, it looks lovely." I wish I was half as talented as her when it comes to makeup. My friends keep praising me and telling me that they love how I barely wear any makeup and rather wear that natural look when in reality it has only to do with my lack of skill.
"I'm so excited to see everyone again. How's everyone doing? Did they change much?" She continues her routine and I stand in front of the wardrobe figuring on what to wear. I decide on some casual baggy jeans and a tight white long sleeve top as well. I'll just put on some oversized sweat jacket over it later on if it should get colder.
"They're fine. Hermione had a glow up."
"Are we talking face or boobs?"
"The latter." I answer and she makes an 'uhh' sound. "Ron has abs now. George is still coming here almost every day. Cedric and Cho became really close over the summer. I think that's all." I let the towel drop and get changed.
"How'd you know he has abs? Ron. You didn't have a relapse already, did you?"
"Why does everyone think that? We are pretty capable of keeping our hands off of each other." I mean okay- our on/off relationship was confusing for many people and we did kind of had occasional flings afterwards but it's not like being with a guy is my only source of happiness.
"Excuse me for having a trauma from the constant confusion back then."
"It wasn't that dramatic. Stop exaggerating." I jump on her bed causing her to hiss at me when she almost stabs her eye with the mascara. "Sorry."
"No you don't understand. We would meet up in the morning with the group and do bets on your relationship status."
"That's how you got all that money back then! You bitch told me, your mother gave you a higher allowance." I groan and hug her from behind. "I missed you."
"Oh, babe." She puts her makeup down and hugs me back. "I missed you, too."
"I swear if your father is making you leave me alone in this hellhole one more time, I will punish him."
"Ew."
"Not like that, you perv." I pinch her arm. "Although- you know- he's quite hot so I might."
"Y/N!" She laughs and tickles me. I fall onto the bed and try to push her away.
"Okay stop! Stop, please, I am sorry!" I whimper throughout my laugh. She finally pulls away and brushes through my hair.
"Can I do your makeup?"
"That's an odd way to say I'm ugly."
"I'd never." She declares. "But I bought a new palette that would look good on you. Please!"
"Only if you promise to remove it tonight. You know I don't have the motivation for that."
"Yeah, I know. Your flat ass would rather sleep with it on abs then complain about pimples." Kam rebukes me and I stand up.
"Yo! My ass got bigger over summer! Look!" I turn around. "I'm wearing baggy jeans right now so you can't see but it definitely did."
"Stop shoving your ass into my face. You can do that to Ron."
"You didn't!" I gasp putting my hand on my mouth. "And you call me a perv, huh?"
"Shut it." Her hands pull me down and she makes me sit in front of her. "Now don't move. Let me do my work." And with that she takes out her brushes and palettes and starts transforming my face.
-
"It doesn't suit me. The makeup is gorgeous but I don't look like myself. I look like a clown." I want to love it and I want to have the confidence to wear it but we're just going for a casual brunch with friends and I usually don't wear this much makeup so I wouldn't feel comfortable.
"It does! You just need some confidence!" She gets interrupted by the door knocking. "Come in. Great. Kieran! Tell her she looks beautiful."
"I don't have to tell her. She always does." He closes the door behind him and leans against it watching us. "We are already late."
"She won't acknowledge how pretty she looks. She says that she looks like a clown."
"If this is how clowns look, I'll gladly join the circus."
I smile. This is what I mean when I say that he's just comfortable being around with. He boosts up your mood and confidence within a second. "Fine." I agree and throw a jacket on top of the outfit. "I wouldn't want to disrespect your makeup skills anyway."
"That's my girl." Kam takes her bag and throws her phone in it. "It's Saturday. We can go somewhere else after lunch. Maybe to a pub?"
"Sure." Kieran holds the door open for us. "Let's go to a muggle pub though."
"I love muggle pubs!" I clap into my hands, excitedly. "They aren't half as stuck-up as wizards are."
"Agreed." Kamila states as we walk out of the Slytherin dorm and head to the gates where we'll meet up with the rest. They probably don't even know that Kamila is back already. Kieran usually doesn't hang with us that much especially when his sister is not around but one of his closest friends left Hogwarts last year leaving him no chance but to tag along with us.
"There they are!" I point to a group of people standing together and talking. I see Harry, Luna, Hermione, Ron, Cedric, Cho, Blaise and great - Draco. It takes them a while to notice us but when they do they all start to smile and walk towards us.
"Hey." I greet them. Everyone is thrilled to see Kam again and it takes them only a few seconds until they are all engaged in conversations. On our way to Hogsmeade Kieran barely talks to anyone. His mood went downhill especially when he saw Malfoy.
"When did we decide that Malfoy's part of the group?" I whisper to Hermione.
"Zabini says he's actually nice."
"Bullshit." I scoff.
"Just try not to argue with him. Give us a break at least for today. When did we decide that Kieran is part of the group though?"
"Don't pretend like you don't like it." I tease her knowing damn well that she's crushing on him. Her cheeks instantly turn red and she starts brushing through her hair: a quirk she has whenever she's nervous.
"I don't know what you're talking about." She stutters and I silently laugh. "If you want I can set you guys up."
"I'm not his type anyway."
"How'd you know? You never had a full conversation with him."
"Just look at his ex girlfriends. He likes confident and strong women, women like you."
"I appreciate the compliment." Even though I am not confident at all. "But that's bogus. He doesn't have a type. If he's likes you, he just does."
"What are the ladies gossiping around?" Talking about the devil. Kieran throws his right arm around me and his left one around Hermione. Oh, her heart must be beating like crazy right now.
"Don't be so curios." I simply say. When I turn around to check if everyone's still there I notice Malfoy's eyes burning into me. He better not start a fight today. He wouldn't though. I think he learned his lesson. After shooting him one last deadly glance I focus on Hermione and Kieran again.
"Y/N?" Hermione inquires. "There is this rumour going around that you slept at the boys' dormitory? Is it true? They even say you walked out of Zabini and Malfoy's room."
"Of course they'd gossip about it already. People really don't have anything else to do with their lives, do they?" I groan.
Apparently Cedric overheard us. "Yeah, Y/N, exactly. What is it with the rumours?"
I hear everyone's footsteps slowing down which is why I stop moving as well. "They are lies, of course. The only reason why I slept there was because I didn't remember the code for my dorm. And McGonagall was on patrol."
They all look at Malfoy.
"How are both of you alive?" Harry breaks the silence and we all burst out in laughter. "I mean no offence but if someone told me you two would be sleeping in the same room I would think that at least one of you goes complete beast mode."
"I was close." I provocatively smile and keep on walking.
"They were so annoying. They kept arguing. Like Y/N was so fucked up and wasted yet she still had the energy to fight with him. And he kept complaining about her like the baby he is the whole time." I hear Blaise say from behind.
"Shut up, Zabini." Malfoy and I say at the same time. We look at each other for a brief second and then look away with disgust in our faces.
-
"Okay, wait, so I know that you were at Hogwarts before. And now you're back. But why did you leave in the first place." Kamila and her curiosity. She's been bombarding Malfoy with tons of questions for the past fifteen minutes. He looks really annoyed and he's barely answering Kam but that doesn't stop her.
"Personal reasons." Is all he says, his eyes burning into mine. Does he really think he can make me feel guilty?
"Why are you so introverted? Open up a bit, Blondie."
"Stop calling me that." He emphasis and takes a sip from his drink. I already finished my lunch and so did everyone else except for Ron who's currently eating his third portion.
"Oh, why? Are you gonna bite me if I do?" She laughs and playfully pushes his shoulder which makes him wince a bit. Not too much; I doubt anyone's noticed but me.
"Just let him be, Kam." Kieran finally interferes and looks up from his phone. He's been texting his mother constantly trying to convince her to talk to Kamila's father - but according to his mood probably unsuccessfully.
"Fine." She groans and leans back in her chair and watches everyone who is having private conversations. "Damn, you guys have gotten boring over summer."
"Ouch." Fred cheerfully chuckles.
"Y'all didn't pass the vibe check this year. Ugh. Babes, are we going?" She stands up and stretches her hand out to Kieran and me. "We are going to a muggle pub. Anyone who wants to join?"
"We aren't allowed to go there if it's not for something urgent." Hermione reminds us.
"We want to get wasted. That is urgent." Kieran stands up and helps me with my jacket.
"But-"
"-it's not that serious, Hermione." I say. "Students have been doing much worse and have gotten less trouble. It's Saturday and we want to have some fun, what's wrong with that?"
"Well I don't know about you guys but I am in." Zabini jumps up and claps into his hands. "When I tell you muggle girls are a different type of freaky, I ain't lying, mates."
Kam makes fake retching sounds. "Disgusting."
"I guess I'm in then as well." Fred agrees and Ron and Harry nod. It takes some convincing to do but eventually Hermione and Luna decide to join us as well. Cedric and Cho said that they still have lots of work to do which is why they won't be able to join.
"What about you, Malfoy?" Kam questions Malfoy while putting some money on the table.
"I pass."
"Don't be such a bore, Draco." Zabini whines and pulls Draco up by his sleeve. "Join us."
"No."
"Mate, you don't have anything else to do anyway. Your other friends are a pain in the arse."
When did we become friends with him?
"I don't care."
"Drinks on me?" Zabini tries to convince him.
"I'm rich, Zabini. I don't need your money."
Kam groans. "End of discussion. You're joining us. If you don't I'll come back to Hogwarts with you and annoy you there."
I whisper to Kieran: "Why is your sister so obsessed with him? Why's everyone?"
"I know, right?" He replies keeping his voice low. "If he is going to be a dickhead the whole night he shouldn't come in the first place."
"Exactly." I watch them convince him for another five minutes until he finally agrees to tag along. When everyone paid we are on our way to the train station and take the first one that drives us to the city.
-
"Look, Y/L/N. I think I found your relatives?" Malfoy points at a group of clowns who stand next to a giant circus tent. "You are already wearing the perfect makeup."
"I'm surprised your family didn't kill them already." I counter-back causing him to gulp. Yeah, he didn't see that coming. "Since you already mentioned your family; how is your father doing? I heard he's currently on the run? How does it feel to be related to jot only a murderer but also a coward?"
"Don't dare to mention my family ever again." He threatens me. Everyone else just watches us fight since their attempts to make us stop arguing have already failed.
"What are you going to do if I do? It's not like you can go and tell your father?"
"It's not like you can do yourself, you know- given the fact that your father is dead."
Oh he did not.
I push him away. "Say it again. Come on, I dare you."
"I said: Your. Father. Is. Dead."
"You fucking bitch!" I take out my wand. "I will kill you!"
"Y/N!" Kieran steps in between us, pushes my arm down and takes my wand away. "Are you mental? We're in the muggle world."
I almost forgot. I slowly turn around only to catch muggles stare at us.
"Stop staring, they're just into cosplay!" Zabini calls out and silences all the muggles. "Can you two get your shits together? We came for a good time, not for you to kill each other."
"If he stopped provoking me." I mumble under my breath trying my best not to beat that fucking smirk off his face. He is really testing my patience and at this point he's just lucky I am never alone with him or else he wouldn't be nearly as spiteful.
"If she stopped being so fucking annoying all the time."
"No one told you to hang with me. This is my group! My friends. If you don't like me, you are free to fucking leave."
"Fine. I'll go then."
Kam steps forward. "No, no, no. Just- just don't talk to each other. Malfoy: mind your own business and Y/N: stop getting so offended by everything."
Oh so he can just insult my dead father who was killed by his family but I am the one being oversensitive? What kind of bullshit is this? I don't want to ruin the mood any more so I just give in and do my best to not cross paths with him the whole night which is hard because while everyone is having fun he's the only one sitting in the booth with me. I decided to take a break from alcohol for a while and I'm not exactly in a cheerful mood which is why I am rather on my phone instead of joining the rest at the bar or dance floor. We don't talk at all. We don't even look at each other. There's a huge gap between us; so as a result many girls hit on him and try to get with him but as far as I can hear- over the loud music- he always declines. There were a few guys who asked me for a dance as well almost all of them were older than me by years so I didn't accept as well.
After an hour in I notice that one girl has been talking him for a really long time. And he actually seems to be interested in the conversation. Ugh, disgusting. Why would someone fall for his tricks? He notices me staring and raises an eyebrow, whereupon I stand up and walk to the bathroom. On my way there I spot everyone either dancing or having drinks at the bar.
"Oh sorry." I apologise when I run into a girl leaving the bathroom. I don't actually have to use it, I just didn't want to see Malfoy any longer since his presence is dragging my mood. I fix my hair and makeup and answer some messages on my phone before leaving the restroom and accidentally bump into someone again. Today is really not my day. "I apologise." I don't bother looking up my phone when I am walking past the person.
"It's not really polite to not look someone in the eyes when talking to them." I look up and see the same man who's been hitting on me the whole night. He's probably in his fifties already.
"Sorry." I repeat myself and attempt to leave when he suddenly grabs my wrists. "What the fuck?"
"Well - I don't accept your apology."
What is wrong with this wanker? "The fuck you want me to do about it? Go cry it off."
"Didn't your parents teach you any manner?" His grip tightens. He's definitely messing with the wrong person, he just doesn't know it yet.
"Listen, you dumb fucker." I aggressively pull my arm away. "Touch me ever again with your filthy hands and I assure you it's the last thing those hands will do. Got it?"
"Quite a big mouth. I wonder what else it can do." He smirks at me and grabs my shoulders again. My phone falls to the ground and he pushes me against a wall.
"What the fuck!" I scream. Fine, I won't be considerate then. With my spare hand I look for the wand in my bag until I realise: Kieran took it. When I want to kick him his hand goes down to my thighs pressing them against the wall as well.
"Get away from m-"
Suddenly his weight comes off me and I watch him fall to the ground. Fists meet his face and it takes me a few seconds to grasp what is going on. Malfoy pulls out a wand from his pocket and points it towards the man who's already bleeding. "Crucio!"
"No! Malfoy!" I scream.
He looks at me, confused. His wand still directed towards the man who's rolling on the floor screaming and bleeding. His scream is filled with pain.
"Stop. Stop the spell! Now!" I command but get ignored. Malfoy looks down to the guy and a sneaky smile grows onto his face. I grab him by his arm and pull it down. "Please." I beg. He looks at me for a few seconds which feel like eternity before actually freeing the man from his pain. I kneel down. "If you ever mention this to someone we will find you and then I won't hold him back."
When he stands up with tears in his eye I notice a wet spot on his pants. He really peed himself. Angrily I turn to Malfoy. "Are you fucking out of your mind? You can't just cast the Crucio spell on a muggle!"
"Are you seriously mad at me?" He scoffs putting his wand away.
"Yes, of course I am! What will you do if anyone finds out? What if he won't keep it quiet? Doing magic on a muggle is already a heavy crime but a forbidden spell on top of it?"
"I helped you!"
"I know! And I am thankful! But I didn't ask you to commit a crime!"
"Why the fuck are you so ungrateful?" He barked at me. "The fuck was I supposed to do? Just beat him?"
"Yes!"
"He harassed you! He deserved it! And if you weren't here I would have punished him even more." Why the hell would he risk getting imprisoned just because of some muggle? That's nothing like him.
"How far were you gonna go? Kill him?"
"He would've deserved it."
"You're crazy." I shake my head in disbelief.
"Actually, you are. Why the fuck would you leave in a packed club and go to the bathroom alone? Especially with all those perverts hitting on you the whole night!"
He is not. He is not actually judging me. "Please tell me you're not blaming me for the incompetence of men keeping their hands to themselves. You're fucked up, I get that. And you're racist, that's on you. But why the fuck is it my fault for being harassed?"
He goes silent. "It's not your fault. Sorry it sounded like it. I'm just mad."
We just stand there, avoiding eye contact for a few minutes until I break it by thanking him.
"For what?"
"For helping me." This was actually the hardest thing I ever had to do. Apologising to him. But in the end he was the one who helped me. I mean I could've taken care of it myself but he still risked so much to save me after all. I think it's only right if I show him my gratitude.
He smiles. What the fuck? It looked like a genuine warm smile that made me forget about every stupid thing he's ever said and done. In this moment he just looks like a cute small boy. I stretch out my hand and after some time he accepts it and shakes it. The shake takes about five seconds, then ten, then twenty. Our eyes meet and a sudden feeling of adrenaline kicks in giving me the courage to push him against the wall of the corridor and press my lips onto his.