Freya Anderson
It's been two weeks since Sam and I met at my office. I wouldn't say I liked him. I just didn't want history to repeat it's self.
Only I know the felling of loving someone but that person doesn't notice any of the efforts and things you do to make this work, one who doesn't notice you and respect you. Do you know why ? Because they see nothing wrong in what they are doing. And so ,just like that I don't want to love again. Love makes you weak. Not all love but the affectionate one to be precise.
"Ok then at least tell me , when did you last see Mr panty dropper " , Sammy says while shoving a spoon full of ice cream while sulking ....she look like a two year old when she does that.
" shut up , and don't call him that he is just a business partner",
" mmm I see...you like him ughh ",
"Oh come on".
"I've seen the way he looks at you and I think __",I cut her off
"It's best that you keep your thoughts to yourself Sammy and you know why" I say with hurt evident in my voice and I don't really want to bring this up right now. And she knows why.
"I think you might be falling for him" she says and faster this time so that I don't cut her off just like the last time.
" Love is a very strong word for that " and it hits me that he'd said the exact same word When he came to my office the other day and I blush
"Ooooh someone's blushing ", she says giving me the do you love him kind off look
"Come on , don't gimme that look you fool go get yourself a man maybe you'd stop bothering me ", I say throwing some of the popcorn in her face .
-----------♡-----------
Today was Netflix day so Sammy said she would come over .She's been doing it for quite some time now just to help me get my mind off things
She has never let me be alone ever since my Mother passed away she said she was scared I was going to do something horrible because she thought she'd started seing some suicidal signs and so was not going to let me be on my own.
There was a point in time when I'd thought of doing it but Sammy caught me trying to do something stupid and I would have regretted doing it but I was so depressed and so confused. A lot of things have been happening lately so I was stressed out and happy that I have someone with me and now she's always on my tail like I'm some two year old, but I'm glad she is and it means a lot.
" Frey did I tell you that I was actually coming to stay here for the whole month ", she says mouthing an ohh after saying that ...
"What!, but you told me about the weekend .And what about your mother did you tell her ?, work?clothes?",
"Ahhh relax , everything is sorted out . I have my files in my car a few clothes ... it'll keep me safe for the month " she says leaning back on the couch.
"And for work, will you be wearing skinny jeans?"
"Ofcourse not , with my fothy rich friend sitting next to me I'm sure she has more than enough clothes for both of us ",
" oh really " , I say pulling her ear." Let's go get your things from the car"
" I thought you'd never ask, besides we've watched this movie for a thousand times so let's get packing"
I was really excited she was going to spend the weekend and the whole month .We got her things and whenever she's around Nanny has some time to be off cause we do the chores and everything . But since she'd been home recently she said she wasn't going to go anywhere but stay just incase we needed her .
**
"Freya , you always remind me of your mother. Your generosity , kindness, and you're strong "
She pulled me into a hug and I'd started sobbing and she gently wipes my tears . Sammy joins us but after a while we continue doing what we'd been doing in the kitchen.
Mike joins us and we go back to the movie room after having dinner , watch a couple of movies and go to sleep.
Sammy sleeps with me in my bedroom cause she always sneaks into my bedroom all the time so I'm saving myself from that .
Sunday morning Sammy showers in Aunt Shay's bedroom and me in mine the guest bedrooms were a little bit too far and she takes advantage of the fact that she's not here.
"Why does your Aunt keep Condoms and other contraceptives if she's not married ", she says while giggling .
" Oww why did you do that for ", she cries while I keep her ear in between my fingers pulling even harder.
"You were not supposed to go through her things "
"what was i supposed to do , I was looking for a clean towel in her closet then Boom Cond.....",
She's disturbed by a knock on the door.
"May I come in are you awake",
"Yes Nanny you can come in ",
"I brought breakfast for my two beautiful girls"
"The was no need Nan...."
" Thank you very much Nanny you're an angel " Sammy interrupts me giving Nanny a kiss on the cheek and digging in her waffles with melted chocolate and choped strawberries on the side .
Nanny giggles with me and leaves . We have our breakfast and head downstairs for a game of cards with Nanny and Mike.
At about one in the afternoon I got a call from Sam asking for my Address so that he would drop a detailed proposal .
While making shakes for ouselves the doorbell rings . Sammmy sprints to the door and attends to the person.
"Freya someone's here to see you ", she says while opening the kitchen door. " If thats the Sam you were talking about the you fogot to add absolutely dashing and sexy ", she winks a let's out a small laugh
" ugh , shut up. Go add some more chocolate over there I point towards the two shake glasses on the kitchen island while wiping my hands .
" hi sorry about that , I was a little bit occupied ".
" It's no big deal shouldn't have insisted on dropping it today , but I just had to find a reason to see you today", he blurted out without thinking.
" sorry?
" you look amazing , yeah I was actually not going to say that to you . Not that you're not but I guess I was thinking out loud I didn't mean to be to a too forward man ".
"I ummm..."
"I... I like you actually but that depends you know ...because ummm you know ..business". He says looking a little bit nervous and chuckles to make it seem like he's confident.
" Can I take you out sometime , as friends ofcourse " he says in a way that doesn't give me the reason to say no . So, yes! Like seriously who wouldn't want to go out with this hot sexy thing before me. As friends obviously, I know what you're thinking already. *chuckles *
" You just said you liked me,and asked me out. wow , I'm..."
" I know , confused. I've felt that too", he says. If he was trying to make me relax then it didn't work. What? Just imagine a man like him , confused? Pshhh you must be kidding me.
"And?" he asks waiting for my answer
"Ok no problem "
These words come out if my mouth without hesitation , and God forbit me cause I'm going to devour this man right here and then .
Someone clears her trought behind us taking us out of our tiny cloud . I turn around and find Sammy.
"Well, Freya are you going to be rude to our guest and finish everything by the door or let him in" she says giving me a grin. She moves a little from behind me .
Oh thank you so much I forgot. Number one rule mother taught us, when having guests offer then seats and something to drink. Foolish me.
I look at Sam and didn't notice that I was stammering while asking him to come in. Why am I so nervous?
" mmmmmm....Would , you like to take a seat," I say opening the door wider still shocked that this exquisitely handsome man just poured his heart out to me and said that I was beautiful just by this door.
" I trully don't like mixing business with pleasure but trust me when I say business was the only way I'd pictured myself staring into those eyes of yours . "
(What's he on about )I lift my head and noticed that he was starring at me like a mad man . Is he hypnotized or something, He's not in his senses and it's written all over his face.
He's far away. Ohh now I get it, that was just a thought and he'd mistakenly thought out loud.
I stared into his eyes as if heaven had just landed infront of me .For a moment I'd think that with him was where I didn't have to worry about a thing but memories of what happend between Marcus and I started flooding in my mind and didn't want to stay hidden.
" Bitch...
Slut...
Whore..
No ones ever going to want you..
What do you think you are..
You don't deserve to be happy..".
Go to hell
And so with that love is for the weak and makes you vulnerable.
And any sign of vulnarability is an invitation for pain.