Everything was going well. I think Linyi likes me too. I am not sure, but I searched online about "How to find out if someone likes you?". Yeah, I searched it. And most of the points match. Like "They stare at you when you're not looking". I caught her staring at me many times. "They compliment you often". She always compliments me. Like literally every day. So, I think she likes me too. First I wanted to confess my feeling to her, but then I remembered. I can't. The pills. I want to tell her about this, but I am afraid that she would hate me. She would despise me. She would go away from me. And I don't want that to happen. I want to enjoy every moment of my life that I spend with her. I am always afraid so, I decided to move back. I told her that I gave the money that my parents left me to buy the house. I moved back. When I moved back everything was pretty same. The book was still there. I gathered up my courage and opened up the book. I was not shocked this time as I had already seen it before. Inside the book were pictures of a little girl about her life from childhood. Yes, the little girl was me. Everything was there. The pictures of me losing my parents, my mom reading a book to me, me getting bullied, Linyi, Luyao. Everyone was there. I turned the page one by one. I was feeling like I had just died and I was seeing my life's journey from the beginning. I stayed up all night going through the book. And I finally reached the point I was right now. I gathered up all of my courage and turned the page to see what would happen next. As I turned the page, Isaw something I could not bear. I closed the book immediately. "No. No. It is just a book. That's never going to happen. Just forget about it. It won't happen. No, It won't happen." I calmed myself down and brought myself to go to sleep.
The next day, I woke up forgetting everything about last night. I washed myself up. I didn't know how to cook so I guess I had to skip breakfast. I was already used to waking up to a table full of dishes as Linyi would cook them early so I could eat them as soon as I woke up. But I am not living with her anymore. I just took one pill, put the pills in my pocket, and went to university. Everything went well. I met Linyi and Lu Yao. Cheng Xian had already confessed and apologized to me about the school forum. We were friends now. It was lunch break and after having lunch, I and Linyi were walking in the University garden. Linyi was telling me about the things that happened after I moved out and I was just staring at her the whole time. I realized that she had just gotten more and more beautiful. I was falling for her so deep that I didn't even realize that my pills fell out of my pockets. At the same time, Linyi dropped her handkerchief too so, she bends down to pick her handkerchief up. I didn't know about the pills. I didn't even see it. But somebody else did. Linyi. She saw the pills and picked them up quietly. "Let's go," Linyi said as she stood up. We went to our classes. I and Linyi had different classes after the break so we had to go apart. We didn't meet after the classes. I went home and lied on the bed straightly facing the ceiling. I was thinking about Linyi. After 5 minutes or so I stood up and sat to do my homework. It was 6:45 when I finished my homework. It was time to take a pill so I searched for my pills in my pocket. It was not there. I searched everywhere, but I could not find it. "Pills. Where are my pills? No, I need my pills." I start to rampage the things around my nightstand. But where are my pills? "No, I cannot lose my pills. I need them. I cannot live without it." I begin to think to myself. "Did I lose them at school?" I start wondering off about where I could have lost it. No, I need to find them before anybody does.
End of flashback:
I run to school as fast as I can. I climb over the walls as the gates were already closed. I start searching through the grass, under the bench, the classrooms, but it was nowhere. I didn't know where I could find it. The effect of the pill was still in as I had the pill this morning without the effect of the one I at night wearing off. I then suddenly happened to remember something. The book. According to the book, I lost my pills and Linyi picked them up. Oh no. Could she have really picked it up. If so, I would be exposed. I decided not to go to her house to get the pills. I decided that I would stay inside my house and never appear near my schoolmates again. I lived far from my university because of the fear that this would happen and it really did. I decided that I would just stay in my house and come out for groceries only. And after my money finishes, I could only starve to death. But, that was not gonna happen anytime soon as my parents had left me every penny of their savings and it was a lot. I was afraid about how I could face Linyi if she came searching for me. I was getting more and more anxious. I just ran to my house and shut the door behind me. I started crying thinking about what Linyi is thinking about me and that I could never meet her again.