The sky was a dazzling blue, the temperature was light enough and good enough to walk. I watched the passers-by cross the avenue from the balcony of Shun's room. The latter at my side had been on his console for hours and didn't want to do his homework at all; like me. Tired of this cemetery silence, I took the floor without having a precise subject of discussion...
— Do you think my way of being with her is bad? I ask, spreading my body on her bed.
— Frankly I don't know Rik', you talked about how you feel and despite that she still sticks to you, and you say to appreciate her as a friend... he pauses for a short while - time to start a new game, it's all ambiguous. But it seems to suit you.
— I don't really know. We've really talked about it now that you mention it...
— Are you waiting to fall in love again or what?
— Huh?! Of course not, are you crazy? I'm very good as a celib'! I don't want to be like you mdrrrrr.
He throws me a look full of anger, which I ignore without embarrassment when I turn around. Leaving him facing my back.
— Bha then, you only have to talk about it later. What do you think about it? It's better no, so as not to make a stupid victim.
— What are you talking about, it's been more than a year that we've been talking to each other and all, and you dare to talk to me about a victim! I growl strongly. I don't understand why she's still here in real life.
— Maybe you make a lot of films and she's really moved on to other things in the background. Stop bothering yourself and talk to little Sky. I like her too. He laughs softly at the end of his sentence; I do too.
— You see, she's so cool, so cheerful, so... boy! Plus she's totally my type! I must have a real problem. I raise my voice when I get up to go out.
— Poor lady falling under the spell of our dearly beloved protagonist. Her voice was so full of irony that I couldn't stop myself from letting go of my best laugh. Otherwise, as soon as you come in, give me a sign and I'll show you something.
I nod, then clear his room with a determined step. I arrive home - the plot opposite, and rush into the shower to look presentable. Fashion is not that important, I could wear the same clothes every day as long as they are nice and clean of course. The water is cold, it flows over my head, at that moment my whole being feels soothed; momentarily soothed, that must be the reason why my being feels this way. I can't spend any more time there, reality calls me to order when my phone rings. I hate being late, that's why I have an alarm at noon. However, it is not the alarm that makes my phone whine, but rather a cascade of emails. So much so that I would call it spam.
A multitude of links are sent to me by this company where Megumi had registered me not so long ago. This company aims to promote mobile e-sport, it has many partnerships with several mobile game development companies, in order to organize LANs, competitions, and other competitive things... V.H being their jewel, because it was developed by themselves, they promote it continuously. Especially because soon, a huge tournament will take place in Japan. The very first tournament will take place in the capital. They surely plan to finish it at the end of the year, which would be great.
After I've dressed up in something other than a sweatshirt and sweatpants.
A dessert in front of each of us, quietly enjoying ourselves as usual. The atmosphere is heavier than usual, I don't dare to talk about it for fear of making a dumpling, so I play the indifferent by concentrating on this chocolate mousse that I give the impression of being the best I've ever had to taste. At one point, my eyes begin to unconsciously detail her face; a thin layer of a new lipstick, braids on the side giving shine as well as volume to her black hair, all crossed in a sublime ponytail, she hasn't applied any layer of anything to her face, and it's dressed in the simplest way - a dress with a floral pattern. All in all, I find her very pretty, but yet nothing special, nothing different emerges from her. My gaze quickly returns to an empty plate, I spent all that time stuffing myself by contemplating it without embarrassment. What a shame!
— Cool hair... I declare to break the silence.
— You always notice that, you... she admits
— It's remarkable too, besides pretending I didn't see anything would be really shocking, don't you think?
— I think... But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. I'm sorry I bothered you while you were resting, I just wanted to talk about you. About how you've been doing since that game. How you're doing in high school and if you're still having trouble sleeping. Basically if you're doing well.
— You worry too much for someone who doesn't deserve it from you. Especially since you would have asked me all this by text message the answer would have been immediate.
— I wanted to see you too, if that's what you wanted me to say. she says with a smile.
I am smiling slightly with this confession.
The discomfort between us was gone, she was regaining her self-confidence and it was getting better and better.
— Okay, I'm starting to smile, I'm fine. And this game is really nice I play it almost all the time, you know as long as I'm above average I'm quiet I don't like to be bored with a ton of revision, and insomnia... no, I don't have any more of it.
— I'm so glad it's going so well, I was starting to blame myself for having made you discover a game that looks pretty much like it.
— Ha ha ha... no, don't worry, sooner or later I'll find out anyway, you know. Nuggets always get discovered. And what about you, how's it going at school?
— Holding on to first place isn't easy, you know, but I'm holding on. And above all I eat three times a day, sir.
I smile, then we get up, we start walking around the shopping centre, we even have time to buy clothes unexpectedly. This t-shirt with "what colour" from psycho pass was made for me - so it's not ugly. I was going to talk to him about my feelings, but I prefer to keep quiet to enjoy the moment - something I almost never do. When we split up, before getting into her car she looks at me for a moment before saying the following:
— You know, I have enormous patience, after a while it turned into an obsession. When I used to call you all the time, write to you even when you were asleep, wake you up in the middle of the night to spend hours on call? I abused your kindness when all you wanted was a friend, just a friend. In spite of everything, I thought it would change when you confessed to me that you fell in love with me at first, I was convinced that you would come back to me Riku-kun... her tears are flowing yet her voice doesn't get confused, I am angry at having seen in you only a potential boyfriend when you are much more for me. I thought that today I wouldn't be angry with you, but I'm angry with you for not feeling the same. I'm really sorry, I don't mean to, I can't help it, I can't help it. So I'm going to spend the holidays in Korea with Min-hyuk and the others. I'll come back to you when I'm not in love anymore. It'll probably be cooler that way.
My face is neutral, I had no remorse or compassion for her. But I still hug her and leave her alone. She needs her space. And I have some versus hunter games to play.
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Thanks for reading see you next week !