POV : Sky
— I'm here to hear your side of the story. Start Shun in a calm tone. Of course you don't have to talk, but it's just to know.
The little pancake house became silent, I had the impression that everything was looking at me. That I was being judged, that I would be judged no matter what I had to say. But in spite of everything, I had to talk to him about it, it wasn't possible that I couldn't see my Riku any more, it tore my heart to know that it was in a bad state because of me. Without further ado, the look on my drink -intimidated by this boy who always seemed harmless to me, I began to relate.
— I don't know if he told you, but Riku has already seen himself with Jin. They didn't hook up at all, or rather Jin didn't do it and Riku didn't calculate it. Besides I'm not close to him, this guy started hitting on me since the third year of college and he never stops, out of pity I started talking to him and everything. But when he found out that I had failed again for the umpteenth time, I don't think he could stand it... I stop there, sigh and drink a little from my glass.
Then he gets up, pays the bill and leaves without giving me a glance. I feel the same feeling of petrification when I come out of the crêperie.
********
Even though I condemned Jin for his act, I don't feel great sadness about the scene three days ago. That day I cried like a madeleine when I saw him on the floor, a smile on his lips, he still had his natural charisma even in a moment like that. He was helpless in front of them, while I hated myself for having told this impulsive guy everything. A barbarian... A barbarian... Sad?
Was I really?
Did it make me sad?
It's true that I wouldn't want to see him sick, to see him inert. But was I sad that day?
I have never stopped doubting since that day, especially since my discussion yesterday with Shun, he didn't believe me, he never really appreciated me. But he didn't distrust me either.
I sigh loudly before getting out of my bath, a bath in the middle of the afternoon at the weekend - it's the only thing better. After this series of headless questions I leave the bathroom naked. Walking around with no clothes on has always upset my family, especially my mothers and my brother; the one before me. Even though my brother no longer lives here, he preferred to live with our father after my parents' divorce and never really accepted my mother's sexual orientation. He kept asking my parents if they really wanted to give birth to her. And since then I've only seen him very little, so when my mum remarried he didn't come. That's when my mother saw her beloved son leave her very far away.
Personally, I don't really care who mummy sleeps with, I don't care who she goes out with anymore. But I had to deal with it when she brought Sunshine home and introduced him to me. No man had died... Nevertheless she is still against me finding a boyfriend and it's strange because I was very open-minded with her; how stuck up she is!
Very quickly I get dressed when I see my watch, under an old vinyl record of some symphony, I start to choose my clothes to go and see him, it will soon be four days and we have to talk.
I opt for simple blue jeans, with a huge purple oversize sweatshirt with my new Converse aux pieds models. A bit of perfume here and there, a thin layer of make-up and smooth hair - he likes smooth hair. After about an hour of preparation, I go downstairs while writing a message to my mother telling her not to wait for me for dinner. Arriving in the corridor, I hear noise coming from Sunshine's workshop, her short and perfect square that makes her charm, her slim waist, her facial features as supple as a teenager, always as splendid this woman, never wearing make-up but always so resplendent with few clothes on. This woman has everything to please, I think I understand why my mother loves her so much.
— Sun' I'll be back after dinner I think of everything! I am about to leave her when she says
— Is it to go and see him?
— We can't hide anything from you. I say, blushing, trying to escape his gaze of a purer blue than mine.
— Alice doesn't pay too much attention to that, but I do, but pay attention to you, if you count the sin he shouldn't know about what you're doing with the other one. She speaks in all serenity without taking her eyes off her clichés.
— HEIN?! BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?! I scream in astonishment at this, my face also becomes very red at the sight of this undertone.
— Don't shout Sky, and go. Just be careful. Just so you know, you're a hottie, baby. Her smirk is so wonderful that I forget how embarrassing her previous words were.
I leave the house, then I leave for the station. As the house is in the countryside, I have to take a train to get off in the city.
The journey is always so short and pleasant. Even though my hen speeds up when I start knocking on the door of the McWin's house. Luckily for me it's Riku himself who comes to open the door for me. He is not surprised to see me, it is almost as if he was expecting me. His almost diluted hazelnut eyes give the effect of emptiness, his soft skin and his face without hair however make me melt. In his grey pyjamas he says nothing and then walks to his room, I follow him closely without opening my mouth. We walk into his room where there is no lighting, his computer on his desk, a joystick on his bed, his TV showing a paused game - I didn't know he played Uncharted, what a versatile man! He slumps down on his bed and I do the same. His eyes turn to me.
— I listen to you... Do you need a smile of encouragement on your lips.
I tell him the story down to the last detail and he never lets me out of his sight once, I feel like I'm all that matters to him. It's this feeling that I didn't want to lose, this feeling in his eyes, this little glimmer that shines. He knows how to look. He knows how to look at me and I wouldn't want him to look at me differently for anything in the world.
— And how long have you been sleeping together? he asks, going back to his game.
And that's it! Like an idiot I thought he wouldn't be suspicious, but he's done worse, that's what I was afraid of with Riku, I didn't want him to judge me, I wasn't ready for that, my voice was slowly dropping and I stammered incomprehensible words into my beard.
— You know Sky, I didn't have to look far, he told me himself when he hit him. He was so proud to jump you that he couldn't keep it to himself. Personally, it's none of my business, I'm just surprised that you say you love me and do this. Isn't that contradictory?
— I have the right to do what I want, and the first time I was distraught and I needed someone who could look at me differently?
— And the second time?
— The second time was... I don't have the words anymore, this guy knew me and knows me too well to believe that being friends with me was a front to analyse me. I don't even have the strength to defend myself, then let him speak.
— And the second time was after he beat the shit out of me. I don't know why you do it, but I knew that your feelings towards me changed when you fell down to cry that day. I just wanted you to come and talk to me about it Sky. Even though it made you feel good to see me suffer, I don't judge you or push you away. So don't worry.
After these words I see his touching face looking at me, he paused his game again. I gently approach his face and gently put my lips on his - I've always wanted to have this contact with him, he gently runs his hand over my waist and kisses me languidly. After kissing him, I collapse into tears over him before falling asleep on top of him.
*****
When I wake up, Riku is not there. I see him sitting with a young blonde girl in jogging, they look like they are working on his desk. I feel a pinch in my heart because I've just seen them coming closer together. I'm doing the dignified thing. Always hold your head high, girls.
— I think I'm going to leave, Riku-kun. I say as I caress her head.
— Okay, I'll walk you to the door. And this is Yuki, and Yuki as I told you earlier, this is Sky. He introduces us and takes me by the arm before either of us can speak.
We go down the stairs and talk a little, his parents are still not there and it makes me sad to leave him, but well...
— And get ready. I hope you're still playing VS because something big is happening. I'd like to see you participate for once. Please don't disappoint me. I said before leaving his house.
I'll be the first one to make him bite the dust, I promised him that. This is the perfect opportunity to fight with him.
*************
Thanks for reading see you next week !