The air was hot.
So hot.
So very hot.
His tongue felt dry...so unimaginably dry...yet thirst wasn't the most pressing need on his mind. No, instead, his mind was directed solely at the anxious girl with waist length long hair in the shade of his favorite ice cream that even as Supreme King, he hadn't had for over ten years now...
The girl looked up and met his gaze in apprehension, lips tremulous and shaking as she gripped the animal skinned pillow she'd appropriated as a weak form of protection from the moment she'd been tossed on this bed.
When the mattress dipped because of newly added weight, the rosette hurled the pillow with all her might at the man's head. It landed quite cleanly against the side of his sculpted face but naturally didn't really hurt the guy; he cradled the would-be-weapon against his chest as a genuine chuckle escaped his lips. "I didn't know you wanted to play..."
Sakura shook her head as he suddenly grappled onto her dainty left palm, squeezing the appendage quite tightly while he drew it tight against his chest. His body came to hover above hers near the headrest, where she'd scurried back to the end of, before he suddenly whispered in a soft low voice: "Now, let's play an adult game."
Sasuke shook awake by the startling sensation of something coiled tight around his abdomen; he looked down to see Sakura's sleeping expression contorted in an agonized way with her arms clutching tightly against his bare unclothed waist.
He had the habit of sleeping in only trousers on hot evenings and so her head was now pressed right against his abdominal muscles, precariously close to the v shaped crease that slipped into his pelvis...
He would have been more susceptible to licentious thoughts right then if not for the pained expression that still plagued Sakura's face. Quiet shrieks, murmurs of discomfort and hisses kept intermittently escaping her lips...the sounds reminded him of the first few times he'd ever taken her body against her will...was she having a dream about those times?
Guilt flitted into his chest in torrential volumes as he gently unclasped the girl's tight hold so that he could draw her entire body flush atop his, with her head falling above his right pectoral. The girl remained unconscious and still in distress but as he softly rubbed her back in slow top-to-bottom strokes, alternating between soft kisses that he placed against her forehead and cheekbones...Sakura finally settled down.
Warmth flooded into his chest when her face softened and her head settled peacefully against his skin, right above his now pounding heart. Though she would have no memory of this, Sasuke found happiness at the undeniable fact that she found comfort through him.
Sakura still loved him. He knew she still did, she just had yet to realize it again.
Sasuke knew he could make her cognizant of this fact soon. He just had to be careful with his actions and words...
He closed his eyes to try and fall back asleep but after five minutes, Sasuke realized it was impossible. His thoughts were too rampant and also it was already nearing morning, judging by the callow sun's rays that peeked through the blinds in the window to their right bedside.
He'd habitually trained himself to always be an early riser since the start of his defection and the habit was simply too ingrained by now. Sasuke's gaze fell back to the kunoichi sleeping serenely, still on his chest.
She was the vision of loveliness. Her fine facial bones defined the most exquisite face he'd ever seen, marred only minimally by the slightly dark rings beneath her eyes, as well as minute premature wrinkles near the corners of her lips. Knowing he was the main stressor in her life, Sasuke blamed himself for the slight deficiency in her features –not that he held them against her beauty either way.
To him, she was still the most beautiful woman on the planet and always would be.
He would do his best to make up for all the pain he'd caused. Help her recover physically, mentally, and emotionally from everything he'd ever inflicted upon her.
It'd been two weeks since she'd accepted him and he'd moved in immediately because of his lack of address or money. Originally he'd had trouble finding employment because even foregoing normal employment regulations, no one trusted someone with no identification or even a verifiable background but Sasuke had easily fixed this one day after coming back from a meeting at the Hokage's office.
He hadn't gone into specific details of the meeting with Sakura, merely explaining that he'd demonstrated a show of his prowess to Tsunade and her staff before they agreed to let him into the military police force. Of course Sasuke had left out a few key details that he knew Sakura would not have been pleased to hear...but he didn't want to give her anymore reasons to be upset with him.
It wasn't like he'd broken his promise really...no one had actually gotten hurt by any means...
Most importantly, he needed to work. His misogynistic Uchiha pride refused to live off of a woman, much less his own, and Sasuke wanted to be able to support Sakura in every sense of the word.
Presently, he stared back at the rosette's sleeping form: she'd recently cut her long hair so that it fell just a little past her shoulders which spread out now neatly beneath her, over his left arm. Her right hand rested on her stomach while her left arm was looped below the pillow. Her knee length nightie had gotten hiked up when he moved her and so now reached very high up...her long legs were almost entirely revealed along with the white cotton panties that she'd fallen asleep in last night. He knew the color because he'd taken them off soon enough sometime into the night, after she'd already showered and prepared for sleep...
Even now, he could see the dried residual evidence of their joining last night that stained the upper portion of her thighs and pelvis...
She'd spoken to him before about not liking intercourse after showering because it tended to defeat the entire point of getting clean...she'd asked him to try and get all his needs filled beforehand but... Sasuke couldn't help how fast his libido recovered and how hungry he always was whenever he was around her.
He felt genuinely embarrassed and ashamed because of how much he needed this side of her.
Like some devolved beast.
Of course he refused to let Sakura deny him when he wanted her –as he'd said before, this was one hundred percent her fault, wasn't it? Whatever she'd done to make him into this besotted fool. Any memory of his preteen years showed him completely impervious to the temptations of sex, as the Naruto from their original universe would attest to. Every one of the blonde's "sexy no jutsus" to catch Sasuke off guard had always failed, every time; Sasuke had always prided himself on being immune to this that nearly every male he knew fell prey to.
He was better than them all. As he rightfully should be.
But now...
Even when he'd been lost in his thoughts, Sasuke realized that his left hand had subconsciously slipped into the bridge of Sakura's panties and was teasingly playing with the flesh below. At the same time, he could feel and see that he was again ready for the girl.
Goddammit. He honestly wasn't sure if he loved or hated wanting so much sex all the time.
On one side it obviously felt good –felt amazing, like eighteen million endorphins firing at the same time across all his neural synapses. Genuinely giving him a high like the most mind-blowing recreational drug, or so he imagined because he never had had time to indulge in that type of adolescent recklessness.
Though he seemed to be making up for it now, in spades.
Having pulled the girl's nightie down below her breasts, Sasuke's palms had moved to grope both mounds in feverish turns. He heard and felt a groan escape Sakura's lips as she stayed unconscious, though her head did turn of its own volition so that her mouth was suddenly right up against his left nipple. In a second she started suckling it in her sleep.
His body reacted like fire to kerosene; the fine hairs of his chest standing completely erect like the other part of his body right now.
Sasuke couldn't take it anymore. Not enough patience to take them fully off, the man simply moved the bridge aside , before maneuvering her legs open enough so that he could sheath himself in one go. Sakura's expression contorted once again in discomfort but this time he knew it was not because of a nightmare.
Sorry. He mentally apologized to her.
Sasuke had taken her body enough times by now for him to know that she was just anatomically too small for his girth. No amount of stretching or lubrication could help if he was fundamentally a size 9 and she could only fit a size 7. Not that those were exact measurements but it illustrated the point quite well.
He knew Sakura was aware of this fact too –Sasuke could sometimes see the despairing knowledge in her eyes whenever he entered her missionary but the pinkette had never outwardly addressed this before. Probably because she knew it wouldn't make any difference in deterring him. She knew, that no matter how much he didn't want to cause her pain, ultimately his needs came before anything else.
Well, she was right, Sasuke acknowledged guiltily. At least in terms of sex, she was.
He would give leeway in other areas, possibly, but never with this. He loved her. Sasuke had meant it when he vowed that he would stop hurting but...some things just could not be helped.
Presently, his hands had grabbed onto her butt cheeks while her body stayed atop his like a ragdoll; he used his grip to gain proper traction as he moved, thrusting up and down, again and again into her molten core. Asleep she was perfectly pliable for his needs.
Suddenly he burst, completely coating her womb with his seed and staying deep in her core as he softened; Sasuke's vision swam around him as he fought to regain his breath and composure.
Gods, she always felt so incredible.
From the first moment, he'd tasted her body for himself, Sasuke should have known how poisonous it would be in the long run-
His thoughts and breathing stopped altogether when Sakura suddenly sat up, moved off him listlessly, adjusted her clothes before stoically disappearing into the bathroom.
S-she'd been awake? Why hadn't she said anything? Had she been conscious the entire time?
While she'd shown no overt signs of despair or anger –Sasuke could tell Sakura was deeply upset.
If she was angry why wasn't she saying anything? Also what did she really have to be upset about? She'd agreed to let him have her whenever he wanted, right? Frustrated at his inability to understand her, Sasuke pushed down his irritation –the best he could- while stepping towards the lavatory.
Sakura hadn't bothered to even shut the door.
Did she know that he would follow her?
Sasuke stood pensively outside the foggy glass shower doors, his beautiful features fixed in consternation with his hands in sweatpants' pockets as he tried to think of what to say.
He knew Sakura could see his shape through the condensed glass; what must she be thinking right now? Sasuke decided to try and think of some way to amend their agreement for her to always tell him when something upset her.
***
What the hell was he doing now?! Sakura thought in exasperation while glaring daggers through the obscured glass, which was the only reason she could bring herself to do so outwardly.
She'd woken up from a nightmare of being assaulted by nightmarish Sasuke that was some tyrant that controlled the only water source in a desert kingdom to actually being assaulted by the real thing! Her subconscious somehow felt the real version wasn't terrifying enough and was starting to make up random ideas as if her psyche wasn't already tortured enough.
God! Just how much of a depraved state was her mental state left in?
As she glared through the blurred glass, the rosette lathered her body with her blue 'ocean' scented body wash.
Sasuke hadn't liked her using any scent besides Sakura blossoms and had even confronted her about it in the convenience store when he'd first seen her picking up the new body wash.
His hand had locked onto her wrist when she'd moved to place the blue bottle into her shopping cart. She'd looked up at him in confusion.
"Cherry blossoms are your scent," the man had stated straightforwardly, locking eyes with her; an implicit order for her to swap bottles. He hadn't appeared angry but his usual imperious autonomy had shown through his eyes.
Sakura had internally shivered, not just from fear at his stern appearance but also because...when she'd been locked away, all the soaps he'd given her back then had only ever been cherry blossom scented.
Honestly, that used to be her favorite aroma –until, ironically, Sasuke's imprisonment.
Now the aroma just reminded her of those steel walls, undecorated furnishings, that simple white sheeted mattress...she mentally shook those memories away.
No, Sakura could hardly stand the scent of cherry blossoms anymore. 'Ocean spray' was her new favorite body wash and shampoo but it seemed like Sasuke had an opinion even on this.
Angry at being controlled, Sakura found strength above her conditioned fear and met the man's stony gaze right back, refusing to let go of the blue bottle.
Maybe it was because they'd been in a public space; maybe his guilt had finally surfaced enough for him to realize that he owed her much more than this; maybe he'd just realized how much controlling this small thing could set her off –whatever the reason, Sakura had felt minutely triumphant when the man looked away and spoke no more of the topic.
Of course it'd upset her somewhat when, after they had returned home and were unpacking the groceries, she discovered that he'd secretly bought the cherry blossom one in addition to her ocean one. Though he did not force her to use it, just kept it stored quietly in the toiletries cabinet inside the bathroom.
Maybe he hoped she would use it one day. Maybe it just comforted him to see it every now and again. Whatever the reason, Sakura had decided it was best to not confront him about it.
Now, out of vindictive pettiness, Sakura used more of the ocean wash than she usually did, hoping the scent put him off and deterred him from possibly joining her as she feared he might do.
Unbeknownst to her, Sasuke didn't really hate the different scent. He didn't particularly dislike or like any artificial scent. The only reason he cared for cherry blossoms in particular was because...it was the scent she'd had on Mount Ghorma.
He'd barely noticed and never had cared for it back then but now –now he loved it.
Along with everything else about her at the time.
The shower turned off and Sasuke saw a dripping wet cream colored arm extend out from the minimally opened glass door, reaching for the nearby towel rack...
Sakura sucked in air sharply when she suddenly felt a hot mouth pressing light kisses against the back of her outstretched arm. The kisses soon turned into feverish licking, causing Sakura to freeze in terror and disgust right where she was. As she stayed motionless, the air chilled the residual water on the rest of her body and Sakura felt a violent shiver ring through her whole body.
Before she knew what was happening the glass door slid completely open and she stood before the man completely soaking wet and naked.
"St-stop-" she was already pleading even before the man put one foot into the tub.
Not again! He wasn't going to...so soon?!
Sasuke seemed to read her thoughts.
"Don't worry Sakura, I'm not going to hurt you," he whispered before turning the shower nozzle back on.
Sakura did not believe him one bit even if she could see that his sweatpants were still on as the water hit; it was hotter than she was expecting and Sakura couldn't help yelping from the initial contact.
Arms wrapped around her naked waist and for a second Sakura thought she was getting assaulted again but the man only lifted her out of the water's path, before adjusting the nozzle again, testing the water with his palm every now and again.
Sakura bit her lip as she watched him, understanding he didn't intend for sex but rather...wanted to just prevent her from getting hypothermia.
Why...why did he always have to hurt her before cherishing her? Making it always so hard to stay mad at him? She resented this more than anything else he did; more than the rapes, more than being treated like a sexual outlet while she slept.
***
It was so hard to comprehend Sakura at times.
Why was she mad at him? Was it because of how he'd taken her? Didn't whenever also apply to when she slept? So then why was she throwing this tantrum?
Another thing was how much she reviled having sex with him now. Always the one to initiate intimacy, it was like he was the only one that actually felt anything.
This was perhaps the one side of her that he genuinely wished would revert back to her adolescent self.
Hadn't she always dreamed as a child and teen to marry him? She'd wanted to be his wife more than anything back then. What else did besides sex did married couples do together on a regular basis?
Why wasn't she, on a purely physical basis, attracted to him anymore? While Sasuke didn't ever deign to react to any of his insipid fangirls, the Uchiha was under no illusion of how photogenic he was.
Karin, Ino, Tenten and basically every female in the world, it seemed, was privy to swooning when he stepped within their eyesight ever since...honestly he couldn't remember what age this insipid folderol had started but Sasuke knew the effect was still very much active.
Every woman dreamed of undressing him and jumping his bones...so why was the only woman he wanted the one exception? He knew he had left some bad memories...but hadn't she already forgiven him for it all? Why else would she have agreed to stay with him? Much less for 'forever' as she'd agreed...surely that meant she'd forgiven him? He knew that if the situation had been reversed –if he was in her shoes...he would never be able to tolerate being even in the same room as his abuser. Hell, Sasuke knew that he would never let anyone that had disrespected him like he had done to her, live...
But that was just the way Sakura was. She had a softer heart than him and he accepted that. Soft and fragile. He used to look down on her for this fact but now he just found her even more endearing because of it. She was accepting and adapting; docile and forgiving but not insipidly yielding like her childhood self.
She was exactly what he wanted in a wife. Tenderhearted enough to forgive him when his brutish nature impacted but strong enough to confront him if he ever went too far over the line. Strong enough to keep his vindictive side in check.
Yes, in this lifetime, she could only ever be his.