Meg's gasp echoed through the cabin, while Guntar stiffened with a loud rustle of feathers. But Theo kept his gaze firmly on Darian, waiting for her reaction.
It didn't take long. She took a step back, her eyes widening. "Excuse me?"
Though his heart slammed against his ribcage, Theo forced himself to keep talking. "I said we need to get Zenith back. I thought about it, and I've decided that's what's most important."
"Oh, really?" Darian snapped, her eyebrow twitching. "What strategic value might this course of action possibly have?"
Some part of Theo wanted to flinch from the disdain in her voice, but he stood his ground. "There isn't any."
"Then why do you – "
"But," Theo said, raising his voice, "that doesn't change the fact that I need to see Zenith again. And you do too, don't you? Or are you fine with leaving things as they are?"
Darian drew in a sharp breath before clenching her hands into fists. "Sir Zenith already made his decision. He is no longer a member of this crew."
"You can say that, but I don't think you can write him off so easily," Theo said. "Not after he fought for you all this time."
"He chose to throw it all away, in case you've forgotten. What are you even proposing we do, anyway? Chase down that seraphim and fight him? Pointlessly make a powerful new enemy on top of the Infernal Legion? Ridiculous," Darian sniffed, tossing her head. "I won't drop our mission just to satisfy a whim of yours."
"It's not a whim!" Sam squeaked indignantly, but Theo was surprised by how calm he still felt. After all, nothing Darian threw at him could hurt half as much as Zenith's parting words.
Even now, remembering them felt like a knife twisting between his ribs. But in spite of everything, he held on to the pain. Somehow it grounded him, giving him the strength to continue facing Darian down.
"You're right, I don't know exactly what we're going to do. All I know is we have to find Zenith, because it's the right thing."
Darian's face twisted into a sneer. "So you don't have a plan. In that case, kindly stop wasting everyone's time."
With a dismissive wave of her hand, she turned away. "All right, Meg, Guntar, let's get back to business."
"Hey!" Sam shrieked, shaking her fists. While she raged, something cold and tight clenched in Theo's chest – and his resolve hardened into steel.
"I'm not leaving," he said. "No matter what, we're going after Zenith."
Darian whirled back around, her face wild with rage. "Who the hell do you think you are, giving me orders on my craft?"
All of a sudden Theo wasn't here inside the stuffy cabin, but out on the deck while Darian ranted and raved after Zenith's betrayal. His own words marched through his head: No one's got the right to question you, huh? Because you're the prince. And that's why you thought Zenith was going to quietly sit back and do whatever you told him to.
At the time he hadn't been thinking about what he was saying, only lashing out to distract himself from his own hurt. But maybe those accusations held a kernel of truth after all.
His chest grew so tight he could barely breathe. It took all of his effort to force out his next words, but they came out crisp and clear. "Right. You don't take orders, you only give them. Why not? It's always worked, until it didn't, anyway."
"This again?" Guntar cried, swelling indignantly. "Listen here, young man – "
Ignoring his bluster, Theo plunged forward. "You took Zenith's loyalty for granted. You never tried to understand what he was thinking. You thought he'd accept whatever you said and you'd never have to explain yourself to him."
As he spoke, Darian's face flooded redder and redder. Not an inch of her body wasn't trembling. "So you're saying he was right?"
"Of course not," Theo said quickly. "I'm just saying, have you even tried to think from his point of view? About why he decided to leave?"
"Because apparently I'm 'not worthy,'" Darian spat.
"And you've never wondered why he thought that?"
"Why would I have to? He's obviously wrong!" Darian yelled, swiping out her arm. "If you think he's got such a good point, why don't you go join him?"
"My liege!" Guntar cried, but Darian didn't have any ears for him – and neither did Theo. Right here and now, he only saw Darian. If he couldn't convince her, he might as well give up.
"Like I said, I don't think he's right," he said. "And it's not like I totally understand his reasons either. But that's why I want to find him again."
He breathed in deeply, gathering his thoughts. "And that's...that's what we should've done from the beginning. To understand him, and make sure he understood us. We all knew he didn't like Victor joining the crew, but did we ever actually explain our reasons to him? Or did you just try to order him into accepting it?"
Once again, he dug out a painful memory: Zenith on his knees, Victor's blood staining his knuckles, while Darian loomed above him and barked furious orders. And all the times before that, every time she dismissed his protests.
"That's – " Darian began, only to cut herself short. Her eyes widened, and for the first time some of the anger drained from her face. "I – he – "
"I know he made it easy," Theo said, softening his voice. "He'd never push things, always obey your orders, tell you that you didn't have to explain. I can see why you accepted it. I did too."
He locked eyes with her the whole time, hoping she caught on to what he was leaving unsaid. Because he wasn't just talking about the decision to let Victor aboard, but what had happened earlier. The sapphire diagram blazing beneath her. Zenith's horror as he realized how long his liege had been lying to him.
When Darian breathed in sharply, her face growing pale, Theo knew he'd succeeded. He kept talking, fiercer and more passionate. "But Zenith isn't just a fighting machine. He's a person with thoughts and feelings of his own. We can't ignore that or brush it off. And he's also at fault for not being honest with us, even if I understand why. So I'll ask again: do you really want to leave things like this?"
"I...." Darian dropped her gaze, glaring at the floor like she wanted to burn a hole through it. "So in the end...it's all my fault?"
Her voice came out smaller than Theo had ever heard it, quivering with helpless fury. Despite himself, his heart twisted into knots. He knew Darian was a person who preferred action above all else; she might never have thought so deeply about her feelings before.
"It's not." His voice came out gentler than he expected. "Like I said, I've got my own share of blame, and so does Zenith. But it's not too late to make things right."
Darian didn't say anything, only gripped the edge of the table until her knuckles turned white. Guntar turned toward her in concern, but didn't approach. For a while, a heavy silence blanketed the cabin. It felt as if time itself had frozen.
Until Theo decided to move. He took a tentative step forward, his heel clicking against the floor. Darian snapped her head up, looking almost bewildered.
"Darian," Theo said. "I just have one more thing to ask. Do you still care about Zenith?"
Darian's eyes grew huge. Somehow Theo couldn't help but remember a time so long ago, when he'd been on his knees while Darian had held out her hand to him. That time, they had vowed to rescue Zenith from Oliver. Together, because they had the same reason.
This...this wasn't that much different, was it? In the end, they were the two most important people in Zenith's life. They were the only ones who could do it.
"I...." Darian's hands curled and uncurled into fists, and she briefly dropped her gaze again. When she looked back up, her eyes were still wide, but a familiar resolve glimmered in their depths.
"Of course I do." It came out barely a breath, but seemed to echo in the still air. "I...you know, when I met Sir Zenith...when he swore his loyalty to me...I was so...so...happy."
Sparks skittered down Theo's spine. Hadn't Zenith said the same thing about that first meeting?
"He was the first person who chose to follow me." Darian swallowed, then shook her head. "I had my mother and Guntar, but they had always been by my side. Until I met Sir Zenith, I didn't know...if anybody else would believe in me. But he did. Without hesitation."
Her cheeks reddened, but her gaze didn't waver an inch. What it must be costing someone as prideful as her to admit to this, Theo couldn't begin to imagine.
"What kind of liege would I be if I didn't believe in him as well?" With a shuddering breath, Darian slumped against the table. "Theo...thank you."
Theo jolted. Before he could think of anything to say, Darian turned her head away and pressed her hand to her face. Concern spiked in him, but when she lowered her hand, the ghost of a smile lifted her lips. And her eyes sparkled almost as bright as her Levia.
"Let's do it. We'll make things right – and bring back our friend."