Sighing, Sam plopped onto the bed. Ryllis sat down on the bed across from her.
In the narrow room, their knees almost touched. Aside from the four bunk beds, the cabin didn't have space for much else besides a porthole in the wall. The infirmary and corridors had been just as cozy, though with surprisingly high ceilings – which Sam supposed made sense with Kress and Amaro on the crew.
After stopping at the infirmary, Fia had led them to the deck with the living quarters. There were quite a few open cabins; seemed the Blue Sky was operating at far from its full capacity.
Jin was already snoozing away on the top bunk, but Sam didn't feel like sleeping just yet. Even if the bed was nice and soft, not to mention the first one she'd seen in days.
"How're you feeling?" she asked Ryllis.
Ryllis twitched. "Fine. Hate to admit it, but seems like that shit worked."
A scowl twisted her face, though it was a pale shadow of the expression she'd made when she had downed the sludgy green liquid at the infirmary. Sam had even felt her disgust blast through the contract like a seismic shockwave.
"That's good." Sam managed a smile.
Ryllis' gaze flicked up to Jin, then back at Sam. "You should try to get some sleep too. It's been a long day."
"Yeah, I know. It's just…" Sam trailed off, not sure what she even wanted to say. She wrapped the poncho Fia had given her tighter around her shoulders. Though lightweight, it did a great job blocking the chill. When Sam breathed in, she tasted a tinge of salt like a refreshing ocean breeze.
They'd only just met, yet Fia had already been so kind to her. Her heart aching, Sam turned toward the porthole.
Through the glass, she saw a band of fiery orange light slicing through the darkness. The Traps. According to Fia, they'd reach the portal town by tomorrow evening.
Just one more day. One more day here on the Blue Sky, with her friends. With Theo.
With Ryllis and Jin.
Ryllis shifted, her armor creaking, but didn't say anything. Sam wondered what she was sensing through the contract. Not that it'd be too hard to guess.
Suddenly, something outside the porthole caught Sam's eye. Leaning forward, she saw a cluster of bright spots bobbing in the sky. Stars? No way – they were too big, not to mention moving way too much.
Fireflies, then? Seemed kind of high up for that, but maybe Tielan fireflies were different.
"What is that?" Sam asked, unable to take her eyes off the merrily bouncing balls of light. "It's so pretty."
Ryllis' smoky scent drifted over her, then the next thing she knew her familiar leaned over her shoulder. Sam's heart couldn't help but skip a beat.
"Looks like wild globe-fish," Ryllis grunted.
"Globe-fish? Like this guy?" Sam glanced at the glowing ball circling beneath the ceiling. It was about the size and shape of an inflated puffer fish, with stubby little fins and a tail, and its belly emitted a soft, warm light that filled the whole room. Dozens of these fish drifted around the craft, lighting up the corridors and cabins.
"Yeah, that's gotta be a whole school of them," Ryllis said.
Sam leaned forward until her nose almost touched the glass. For a while she watched the globe-fish dance through the sky. They really did move like a school of fish, flowing back and forth as if they were one gigantic being.
When the light in the room got brighter, Sam looked up to the see the globe-fish drifting down from the ceiling. It was frantically beating its tiny fins.
"Aw, you wanna go join them?" she asked.
Ryllis snorted. "Don't feel too sorry for it. Here it doesn't have to worry about predators."
"Predators? Like what?"
"Some of the bigger medusids eat them. Sky-lances too. They're long and pointy, glow a bunch of different colors. I never saw a live one, though. They don't come to the ground."
"Wow," Sam whispered, her breath frosting the glass. She'd had no idea such beautiful things lived in Tielos.
Ryllis would get to see them every day from now on. As for Sam….
Her heart clenched. Without thinking, she curled her hands into fists.
"Sam?" Ryllis said, uncharacteristically soft.
'I want to stay here' – but Sam couldn't say it. She didn't have a reason to be here, not like Theo. Think about her parents, her siblings. Her sister's graduation concert, her oldest cousin's baby shower, all important events she couldn't miss.
Mom had said it plenty of times after her divorce, after she'd uprooted the family from their ranch house in New Mexico to move to a big city on the other side of the country. 'All we've got is each other. We're a family, so we stick together.'
So they did. Through the divorce, through the accident that ended her brother's skateboarding dreams, through the cancer that had taken her grandma's life. Sam couldn't just abandon them to play adventurer in another world.
But...but if she left Tielos, she'd be abandoning people too, wouldn't she? People who were just as important to her.
Her heart hurt so much, she felt like she would explode. Like she could cry for a thousand years and still not get out even half of the tears inside her.
"Ryllis...are you really...okay...with this?" she made herself ask.
Ryllis breathed in sharply. "It's your decision," she said, too gruff.
"I don't know...if I've made a decision yet." Sam stared down at her lap. "Oh, I sound terrible saying it like that, don't I? I want to go back to my family – I have to. But I also – if I go, I'll never get to see you again."
It was a thought she didn't want to face – one she'd tried very hard not to face. Even though she'd only known Ryllis for a short while, she already couldn't imagine life without her.
"I'm sorry." Sam squeezed her eyes shut. "I know I'm being selfish. I mean, I'm the one who wanted to be your wizard, so – so I shouldn't whine so much – "
"Shut up."
The raw anger in Ryllis' voice hit Sam like a punch to the heart. She whirled around, only to see that Ryllis was glaring at the floor like she wanted to burn a hole into the metal grating.
"Shut up, I said," Ryllis said again, more venomous.
"I – I – I'm sorry – "
"Didn't tell you to apologize, idiot. Seriously, how dense can you get?" Before Sam could figure out what was going on, Ryllis knocked her on the forehead with her knuckles. "Is your memory going too? Who's the one who asked for the contract again?"
"That was – I mean – 'cause you wanted to save Jin." Sam's voice came out a squeak. "And you have, and you're finally back here, back where you belong, so – "
"So you're gonna say I don't need you anymore? Sorry, but it doesn't work like that." Ryllis glared at Sam with fierce hazel eyes. "Where I belong? What if I said that's with you?"
"What?" All the breath whooshed out of Sam's lungs.
"If you're going back to Earth," Ryllis said, "then Jin and I will go with you."
"But – but – you never wanted to be on Earth in the first place." Sam's voice out came out so tiny, she could barely hear it above her pounding heart.
"True, I only went there to get Jin back. But Earth's...not so bad. Especially if it's with you." Scratching her head, Ryllis turned to the side. It was kind of hard to tell from this angle, but Sam thought there might be a tinge of red in her cheeks.
"I can't...can I really ask that of you?"
"You're as good at listening as always. You didn't ask anything. I decided," Ryllis said roughly, turning away further. "So too bad, you don't have a choice."
Sam breathed in, then out. So Ryllis and Jin were going to come to Earth with her. That should've taken a massive burden off her chest, so why did she feel so hollow?
If she went home, she could have it all. Her family, and her familiar. She could go around fighting duels with Ryllis, becoming a stronger wizard. They could visit the arcade every weekend, and maybe Ryllis could teach Sam the secret to her mad claw machine skills.
But Theo wouldn't be there, nor would Meg. While Sam had fun and played around, her friends would be risking their lives in Tielos.
'Running back to Earth like cowards,' Cay's voice sneered in her head. She clenched her teeth, trying to banish it, only for a new memory to take its place. Another nephilim, one who'd meant a lot more to her. The way she'd seen him last, a hunched crystal statue.
Back then, she'd decided this wasn't a game. Which meant she couldn't just quit halfway, could she?
Sam cleared her throat, then sat up straighter. Though her eyes stung, she forced herself to look Ryllis in the face.
"Well, I'm not going anywhere. Not as long as there's an Infernal Legion to defeat."
'It was hard, but it was the right thing to do,' Mom often said about her divorce. 'I want you kids to be like that too. Always choose the right way over the easy way.'
When she finally got back home, Sam didn't know if any amount of apologizing would make up for her choice. But at the very least, she felt Mom would understand.