BELLA
I'm standing in front of a church, it is destroyed beyond use, I am covered in blood, I'm dressed in a white long dress designed like the ones used in the early 1900s, my legs are weak and tired, I exhale a deep breath as I collapse to the floor, I look at my hands and there's a silver dagger, I close my eyes " beauty is better, love is vain, everything perfect must end in pain"
The voice was beautiful, like smooth silk, it sounded foreign to my ears, but my lips moved and I spoke over and over, I was watching myself, yet not me, this version of me kneeling here, was too perfect to be human, long gold hair, almost White, and that voice would put the host of angels to shame, just as she raised the dagger, the pointed tip pointing at her chest, I was sucked forcibly out of this world, and I was awake, lying still on the bed, the only evidence of my nightmare being the fast racing of my heart. I turned and discovered the bed was empty, Micheal wasn't here.
I was thirsty, my throat ached, I got off from the bed and headed downstairs to the kitchen, still no sign of Micheal, maybe he was in the bathroom, I thought,
I poured myself a glass of water and sat at the kitchen table, letting myself think of the dream I just had, it wasn't the first I was having, I have been dreaming of that perfect version of me on and off for a few years now, sometimes I saw myself running from a town littered with dead bodies, sometimes I saw a river, it was peaceful, it was beautiful, I didn't blame my subconscious for choosing it as a place of solitude, yes, my subconscious, that's what I called her. I had no idea what the dreams were or what they meant, but there was a time I looked forward to it, the dreams, the days when I still lived in hell with Annie and her parents, I found an escape in these dreams, it was adventurous and interesting, something my life could never be, the dreams weren't always bloody, sometimes it was filled with romance and love, love that couldn't be found in the real world, unparalleled beauty, and jealousy that burned.
I had stopped trying to make sense of it all, I have stopped trying to understand it, or put it together, I just let it come, it could be my subconscious, it could be my previous life or whatever it really was, it was now a part of me.
The light in the kitchen came on, and I see Micheal standing there in all his angelic beauty, his eyes boring into me, " what are you doing down here?" He askes
I lift the glass of water and smile nervously, " I was thirsty" I say looking at his lips hungrily, they were red, cherry red, and his blue eyes were even bluer, lighter than I'd remembered it ever being, I imagined myself touching his lips his perfect nose, his broad muscled chest,
" Mirabella" he calls out loud enough to startle me out of the chair, he was already inches away from me and he reaches out to catch me, when had he moved this close to me without me noticing
" You've never used my full name on me" I murmured
"You've been spacing out more of recent, I talk to you and you don't seem to hear me, you scared the life out of me, are you sure there's nothing wrong with you? "
He lowers himself on the table so he was in front of me, looking down at me, those eyes, I sigh
"Bella" he slaps me lightly on the cheek
" I'm fine Mike," I say shivering from his touch, his hand was ice cold like he'd been gathering snow with his bare hands.
"Something's bothering you, tell me"
" It's nothing, I just needed water"
" And since when did you start lying to me? " He says lifting a brow
I let out a loud breath" something has changed"
I say almost whispering
" What? "
" You" I reply looking at my hands
" Oh"
" You should go back to sleep, it's still very early," he says looking away from me at the window
I stand awkwardly and push back my chair as I head back towards the stairs, I look back at him and he still hasn't moved a muscle, I turn back and go up slamming the door behind me. When did I start noticing the changes, I had no idea, but small things registered, small things that made a lot of difference, 5days was enough for me to notice that the man I spent my whole being loving, craving, and suffering for was no longer the same.
But what had changed?
I think of this question as I drift off to sleep. The night was cold, the bed was colder, and my heart was breaking all over again.