"Her life was without void, for her past was an uncertain as her future... she only merely lived in the present, searching if her Future, in some way, held keys to her Past."
December 17, 1908
Thursday,
HollyDale
Merry took a long sniff of the sweet smell of poinsettias that had arrived from the Lockwoods' estate. It was most pleasant of Christian to have sent them to her that morning. The flowers had arrived with a note to Charity about the invitation to the Merritts' Ball that evening, asking if Merry would oblige to be the man's escort and that Merry could stay home for the day so she could 'rest herself for the coming ball'.
The consensus between Ladye and Charity had to be, by far, one of the most flustering things about her engagement. They needed no exchange of words to agree on like matters. Although Ladye knew Merry was not allowed to decline, Allen visited the Lockwoods that morning, to inform them of Charity's consent and take Christian along to the Evergreens to spend their forenoon there.
Merry lay a-spread on the bed, reminiscing every moment she had had the previous day, for the sixth time, just that morning. She wondered what the intention behind the flowers could possibly be.
Sympathy? Or just endearment?
It had been tragic that her vision had had such a drastic effect on her. In the course of musing, she remembered what she had seen therein. So he had received his scar in an attempt to save a little child. It was truly gallant of him. Judging from the height and style of the way it was carried on, she could infer that he had still been young during its occurrence.
Merry wondered if he still remembered the event. Perhaps he had, for it was much to daring to be forgotten. She further remembered the man in the vision who had called out and approached, a particular object in his hold. He seemed greatly familiar.
She consulted her memories, in wonder, of who the man could have been. The smell of the poinsettias that were laid over her chest made the pondering damsel turn her gaze contemplatively to the flowers. In a moment of dawning, she realised that she had seen him at the library, years ago, with Ladye. He had to be her brother who had visited from Frostshire, except he had seemed much younger in her vision.
So that was Sir Gabriel Lockwood, Christian's father. She cast thought on the matter, analysing the event further. So the child he had saved should have been Nate. What a beautiful family they were, to be an addition to.
She imagined what it would be like to move to Frostshire. For a heartbeat, she realised that she would dearly miss Charity, but more importantly, Jesse. They had been much too close for her to leave him for the rest of her life. The thought of their growing distant with the passage of a vista of years seemed to cause her heart to ache.
They had always spent wonderful evenings together of discussing their day and the many people they met. She could never forget that one Friday night when Jesse had seemed perturbed on his first week of School-house after he had completed his years of home-schooling.
She had seen, in his eyes, the children who had made friends among themselves. Jesse had tried hard to make an acquaintance of them, to belong to a circle. It was a break for lunch and they had all seemed unreceptive. "I have sandwiches", he had offered and they had agreed to include his company. When the child had run to bring his lunch and returned, he had stopped behind the door, hearing words of scorn about the poor orphaned boy who could barely afford an enjoyable meal to share.
Merry had seen tears blurring the sight of the boy who'd sat alone by himself to eat that day, to whom the sandwiches he had always relished at home suddenly hard and cold. She hadn't been able to contain the overwhelming feeling that day, for she may have attended the school-house herself and lunched with him, had the rules allowed it. The damsel had bought various ingredients the following day and baked him some plum pudding to take to school, and maybe make friends.
It was that day that she knew Jesse was a full-fledged man at heart, for after the weekend's worth of pondering, he had decided against needing friends who would judge him for where he came from. The siblings had shared the pudding and he worked harder still, despite the children that stayed safely home when the holiday season rolled by.
Merry smiled, of the pride that swelled her heart, and prayed he would reach great heights. She rolled over, placing the poinsettias at the ledge of the window. As an elder sister, she felt like she had failed at being there for her brother. It was lovely that besides Allen's arrival, Jesse had still been with her in listening to her gushing feelings.
The jade-eyed maiden felt pangs guilt when she realised she had barely lent ears to hear what he may have had to say.
~
Jesse stared wistfully at the cupcakes that were arranged on display, in the bakery, when Lady Minerva Quinn, the teacher of the School-house, had asked for his assistance for a day. The woman was making small-talk with the milk-maidens at the store, whilst Jesse stood behind her, carrying the weight of her purchases. The smell of bread and caffeine, delicacies and fruits bothered his senses. Most of all, the cupcakes that he coveted were of the sort that was his favourite, but they had always been so expensive, for they were made only in the season of Christmas.
Jesse always remembered how Merry had never failed to notice the longing in his eyes whenever he saw them. For the scarcity of funds at their orphanage, the child would never dare demand anything he had liked. But Merry had, last Christmas, made the very same cupcakes of blueberry flavour, borrowing and buying ingredients from various sources.
It was when Aaron Evergreen had arrived at their doorstep with a bunch of berries that Jesse had suspected what his sister had been up to. Beyond the disastrous cupcakes, the love behind it had meant far more than Jesse could embrace.
Fears, of whether Christian's advent in her life would change his sister or of all her kindness rendered unrequited, began shrouding the boy's heart. He needed to distract himself to keep the depressing thoughts at bay.
Jesse turned his attention to look outside, watching the snow-donned streets glinting in the light of day. HollyDale had always boasted a spritely celebration of Christmas, where all of the townsfolk would unite in decoration and singing. He saw lanterns set around the branches of every tree that dressed the sidewalk, besides the snow that they were already seasoned with.
There, into his view, appeared Bianca Merritt, decked in fineries as always. Jesse shifted to face Mr.Baker, knowing that the lady spared no attention to any, unless they looked rich. "Hello~" came her sweet voice and the boy turned to find the blonde-haired damsel addressing him.
Collecting his manners, the boy gave her a quick smile and greeted her. "Aren't you from Charity's care?" asked she, giving him to feel a slight wave of incivility. In a cosy town of only a few people that behaved as one large family, knowing everyone by their entire genealogy was as an untold custom, regardless of generation. With the sweet-hearted souls that resided in town, the orphans were only received even closer.
The prospect of not even being referred to by his name seemed to be indecent. "Her second son, Jesse", he replied curtly, before looking over to see if Lady Quinn was finished. "Of course!" said the dainty lady. "I have wanted to meet your sister, but I am glad I could find you instead."
Jesse considered what the damsel meant to say. He knew Merry was about the same age as Bianca and they hadn't been very close, but that was years ago when Merry was younger. Perhaps the heiress of the Merritt family had changed enough to want to wish his sister a happy life ahead.
"I will let her know", Jesse assured, gauging if she still wanted to proceed. "Oh, no need for that! I will talk to her myself. How has the engagement been on you, Jesse?" the lady asked, with a flutter of her brilliant eyes. "It's been a pleasant occasion", Jesse replied, giving her a smile and a nod.
"That's quite mature", she remarked, "After all, you must feel so lonely with your sister completely gone." Jesse felt understood for a moment, despite the thought that it inspired feelings he did not want to taste.
"As long as my sister is happy, I will be alright", Jesse replied.
~
Bianca could not have asked for better. Jesse was not the easiest to hold conversation with, but he was truly a charming boy. "With Jude being a foreigner to town, I dearly hope he would be kind to your lovely sister. After all, little is known of what he is like", she said, placing a hand beneath her ample upsweep.
"Christian is a good man", said the boy, accentuating the change in name. "Ah, of course", she hastened, flavouring her words with a giggle. "I don't doubt he is. I just thought as such for I would be concerned for a fellow sister. And besides, are we not on even ground, Jesse?"
Jesse gave her a brief nod, much to Bianca's satisfaction. The child was bothered. "I guess I will have to leave now. Have a beautiful day ahead, Jesse", she wished, before leaving. With the ball this evening, Bianca had a much to do.
She turned one last time to see the boy standing there, pensive. Knowing that her point had been driven home, she walked away.
~
Allen walked in, both hands running through his caramel hair. Merry stepped out of the kitchen, a plate of crisp shortbread cookies in her hand, when she saw that Allen had taken to resting an arm around their mother, Charity, whose face was the very portrayal of distaste for the smell of timber and sweat that enveloped him. She peered to see Christian standing outside behind them, one foot on the snow and another placed at their doorstep, hands pocketed and his trench coat draped over his forearm.
A jolt of excitement seized her, when she saw the smile of amusement on his lips while he watched Charity pushing Allen away, though to no effect. Merry couldn't help paying attention to his strong masculine physique, visible against the wet shirt that was tucked in.
Were they lumbering everyday when they 'paid a visit' to the Evergreens? Did she need to 'pay a visit' to a certain Aaron Evergreen asking to treat Christian with more dignity, or was Allen the beacon of light that had landed the idea of physical labour during their vacation?
Nonetheless, it was charming enough that the men chose engagement over idleness. The gents stepped inside the cottage and Merry watched as Christian politely handed his coat to Charity. Without relenting to have a shower, Allen's eyes caught the biscuits in her hand and he walked over. She placed them down, as her tall brother drew a chair close to the table to take a seat.
Removing the mittens from her hand, she looked over to see Christian give her a warm smile before sitting down. Merry withdrew from the company to fetch them two cups of tea. Her body was starting to embrace the flurries of nervousness that coursed through her veins, when she was faced with the situation of having to go serve them the brew.
Mustering every bit of courage, the damsel took the tray that bore the cups of drink in her hands and walked to the table.
~
Allen saw his friend pay special attention when he mentioned of the letter little Merry had been writing last night to the soldiers and of how he had had to deposit it at the post office this morning. When he saw Merry set a cup of tea before him, the man turned to face his sister and said, "Christian and I have a friend in the army."
"Alexander Evans?" asked his sister, as she placed a serving of the drink before Christian. Had she heard the name in some flash of looking into his eyes?
"Yes, how did you know?" Allen asked, drawing the cup close.
"I told her, yestreen", said Christian, calmly, before turning to give Merry a smile. The soft, shy beam returned gave Allen the pleasure of seeing such naivety on his sister's face for the second time after the day they had arrived. Although having Merry marry Christian was better than handing her to any else, the sight of his friend's indulgence with his little sister caused an overprotective stir that was not the closest to pleasant.
"I see", Allen folded the conversation, lifting his cup to have a sip.
"He seems like quite an interesting person", Merry said with a smile and both men choked on tea.
~
Jesse had returned home early since Minerva hadn't much for the boy to run. The taste of the hot chocolate she'd given him still lingered in his mouth when he stepped inside to see a few shortbread biscuits awaiting him.
Allen seemed to be strangely engaged in narrating various stories to Merry that sounded fairly believable. Jesse finished his snack and headed upstairs to change his clothes. This Alex guy must be quite a half-wit...
Warm fresh clothes had always made him feel more at home. The dark-haired boy descended the stairs to hear his sister exclaim, "Jesse!" Looking up, he gave her a smile, "How was your day?"
"No, you tell me about your day", she insisted, placing a few more short-bread biscuits on a plate for him from the secret jar (which they used on days Allen was home, for he had the appetite of a wild bear).
Jesse thought back to the long day that he had had. It had been quite eventful, but the thoughts of his conversation with Bianca Merritt came to mind. Concealing the encounter, he faced his sister to say, "Lady Quinn makes great hot chocolate."
~
Merry could hear roars of laughter from the other room where Claire and the twins had gathered around Allen, who had one of them sat on his shoulders while he 'flew them across the sky'. Shifting her attention back to Jesse, who had occupied her entire bed whilst she inspected all the clothes in her mortal possession, she listened to everything he was saying about having to read classics out to Lady Minerva and the frustration that came with her weeping every time Hamlet lost a loved one (which was a good many times).
After a pause of silence, she turned to see if he was asleep, finding him lost deep in thought. "Merry", he began, sounding reflective. "Are you completely sure Christian is a good man?"
The blood-haired young lady raised her brows, "Where is such doubt coming from, Jesse?" she asked, concerned.
"I was just wondering, since we know so little of him", the boy shrugged.
Merry sat at the edge of the bed, next to him and looked into his eyes. "There is no reason for fret", she said, giving him an assuring smile.
Jesse nodded, returning to the Cape of his thoughts. "If anything ever turns to hurt you, I'll always be here for you. You know that don't you?" he said, giving her a sincere expression.
"I don't see myself confiding in any else", she smiled, wondering why he seemed so concerned. Ever since her collapse yesterday, her gift had been erratic. She could no longer see visions at every lock of gazes. It was curious why things had turned to be so, but she was greatly relieved. Her trances now were slower or not as demanding.
Merry turned to look at her dresses. She didn't know what would be as grand as could be worn to such an exquisite event. The girl rummaged through her closet looking to find if any of them would cut it to the expectation, although she knew every dress she owned like she had woven its every thread and knot.
She remembered how ethereal Natalia's mere evening gowns were. Reaching such level of grandeur was supernatural, but Merry still wanted to look her very best. Towering over all these concerns, however, was the prospect of the ball being hosted by the Merritts. Bianca had never been the kindest and from the sort of apprehensions she had always received, she did not want to look beneath presentable.
All of a sudden, Charity burst in, her fluffy old face brimming with happiness. Merry and Jesse flinched, before seeing her close the door behind her. "Merry!" she exclaimed, "I have a dress I think you should wear."
Excitement bubbled in Merry's chest as she followed Charity. "Mamma, what is it?" she asked, curiously. Opening the tall closet the elder woman leaned forward to lay hold on the awaited apparel. "It was one I had made specifically for you when Ladye and I decided to arrange a marriage between you and Jude", she gushed and drew the dress out. Before Merry's eyes stood the most simple, unflattering, shoddy and almost homely gown that struck a contrast to the high-class, elegant, elaborate gowns she had seen.
In that moment when she felt something sinking inside, she saw what truly added a great deal of value to the design– the genuine, proud and wholesome smile of the mother who had spent nights past sleeping hours and the money that should have been rendered to bring food on the table to sew the dress. "Is it not to your liking, sweet-heart?" sounded Charity's sincere voice that choked Merry's heart. A lone tear made its way down her cheek before she stepped forward to embrace her mother.
"Such rich and class workmanship, I could wear this to the grand wedding, momma", she said. "Oh, poo~ your heart is too kind", said Charity, a smile of abashment spreading over her lips. "Run along, now, we need to see you changed."
Jesse rose from his perch on the bed and walked out, closing the door behind him. After Merry had changed into the gown, she turned to see her reflection at the vanity. Although her appearance would stand no match to the wealth strewed across the ball this evening, seeing the lady standing by her side in the mirror, eyes flooding with emotion made Merry feel like there was no more of beauty left to be achieved.
Charity turned to look at Merry and smiled, tears collecting. In those eyes, for a moment's worth, Merry saw hard work at sewing the gown's pleats in the night's candle light, whilst Charity would oft look over to ensure Merry and Claire were safely asleep. Before much, Charity swept a tress of her daughter's hair away from her face, smiling proud.
"You are your own lady now; and one that graces the very soul", the mother said, brushing her tears away. Merry took her mother into a gentle embrace. "Where would I have been without you, momma?"
~
Allen received the door to see the whole of the Lockwoods' family had arrived. Ladye was quick to establishing her reign in the cottage, leading Nate and Sir Davies inside.
Charity stepped out of the room, her daughter following close behind her, a spark ignited in her eyes at the sight of her beloved friend. Merry watched as the ladies began their chatter. "Excuse me, Allen, but where are your manners?" she heard Nate huff about the simplest of matters.
"As present as your dignity"
"This is no way to treat a lady of elegance!"
"I fail to see any"
And that was followed by the sound a delicate hand-fan slapping the arm of a built man. Merry was excited to see Natalia, and yet, a part of her feared what she would think. She descended the stairway, arms embracing her own self as she smiled. The beautiful lady's eyes met her, scanning her dress for a moment, before a warm smile blossomed over her face.
Leaving Allen to Davies, Natalia walked over to Merry and took her hand in hers. "You look so stunning, Merry", she started. Merry could see the cogs and gears of her mind rolling to choose her words wisely. "If you ever require borrowing a gown, I await with open arms", she offered, concern written all over her eyes.
Merry smiled at how purely innocent her friend seemed to be. "I appreciate the offer, Nate, thank you. This is one mamma made for me, though", she said, giving her a curtsy. Something seemed to have lit in Natalia's eyes as she leaned forward to place a kiss on Merry's cheek.
"There's a greater depth of charm when you shine that pride of love. Hold your chin high", said Nate. Merry wondered if it was her humbled disposition that had inspired the question. Her eyes searched for Christian, just to see him step into the room, poinsettias in hand.
For a moment, her mind wandered to what Jesse had told her about whether she could trust him.
Christian didn't seem to pay any attention to the simplicity of her ensemble. He took her hand and gave her a peck on the forehead. Merry felt her face ablaze before the company prepared to leave for the Merritts'.
The sleigh awaited them outside and the Davies' stepped in. Christian lent Merry a hand and watched as she managed to take a step in as well. It was going to be a grand evening.
~
Arriving at the Merritts' Manor, Christian stepped out of the sleigh, turning to help his lady down. She rested her soft, small hands into his and placed a foot down on the snow of the floor. He saw the poinsettias seated inside and smiled. Merry seemed to be rather perturbed about something.
He leaned close, "Are you alright, Merry?"
A quick nod was followed by a "Yes, thank you."
The grip she had on his arm, however told him otherwise. Christian smiled, "If there is any need, I await your trust."
"That means a great deal, thank you", said she and her grasp seemed lighter. If anything, he noticed her confidence being slimmer this evening.
The genial reception at the Merritts' ball was pleasant, and the dark-haired man led Merry by his side, introducing her as his bride. After leaving her in the care of Nate, he stepped over to talk to a few from HollyDale. Her spirits didn't seem to be at their finest and his sister seemed to have struck a sort of understanding with Merry that calmed her.
Christian was greeted by Lady Quinn, a refined woman of society, who was extending an invitation to the HollyDale-Ball that she was to host on the 21st day of the month. Conveying his inclination, he cast a glance over his shoulder to see that the dance had begun.
Making his way to the ladies, he saw Merry O'Bell laughing at something his sister had been saying. Merry looked like a dream with her soulful laughter, causing him to think of what a prize she was. Nate, the first to notice his approaching stride, rose to her feet, leaving Merry all to him. He bowed, extending a hand, "May I have this dance. M'lady?"
~
Merry felt her face in flames, while she had her eyes trained on the collars of his coat. Her hands were places on his biceps, for she hadn't reached as far up as his shoulders and the palms of his hands burned against her waist. She knew he was slow, merciful to her dancing skills, but her greatest mission at that point was to avoid an untimely vision that would ruin her.
Her eyes looked around to see dazzling glamour, and she felt misplaced. If anything, she knew Christian hadn't mentioned anything amiss. In fact, he had only been more persuasive. Entrusting her future in this man's hands felt safe, but Jesse's conversation still stung.
"You seem vexed", came his deep voice, causing her thoughts to flee at the surface of her consciousness. They stopped swaying to the music and she shook her head, "I am fine."
"Merry!" rang Nate's voice from a part of the hall away and she felt mentally subdued. The last thing she had wanted was attention. She saw Christian cast a glance over his shoulder to see his sister, with ease, for he stood quite tall over the crown. "Pasteries?" he asked, with a grin.
Spirits lifting, Merry waited for him to release his hands that were placed on her waist. As he took a step back, he lent her an arm, leading her to the table decorated with decks and decks of delicacies. Her first thought was to Jesse, and how much he would have loved them. If only she could have brought him along...
When Natalia took Merry's arm, she couldn't help the giggle that escaped her, before the damsels yielded to the temptation of sweet food. She spared one last passing glance to see people exchanging words to Christian, for he was still acknowledged to be fairly new to town.
~
Swept by the grand number of guests that were eager to meet him, Christian greeted them each, pleasantly. They had all mentioned a word or two about a coming town-wide ball, which he assumed was the one Lady Quinn had invited him to.
Christian turned to see the Lady of the Merritts' manor, Myrtle, smile warmly.
"Our lovely Bianca would be thrilled to meet you", she informed, earning a cordial smile. "I look forward to making her acquaintance", said he, with a nod. It was a pleasure indeed, to be talked to by the hostess of the occasion. Myrtle inquired of various matters regarding business and wealth, his father's arrival to town, the marriage and Merry O'Bell.
"Have you ever, but, considered her lack of past?"
~
Natalia had been swept by her husband's requesting yet another dance of her and Merry stepped away to give them their needed space.
Wandering across the Ball-room, her eyes landed on the back of the tall man she was betrothed to, making conversation with Bianca Merritt's mother. She watched as he raked a hand through his dusky hair, and approached to hear the Lady's words. "Have you ever, but considered her lack of past?"
Merry felt a stab at heart. She had considered her lack of past... but did it make her unworthy of love? Tears piercing her eyes, she hoped greatly for them not to spill before she could find refuge. Head held low, she hurried across the hall, wishing there was no one at the balcony. Just then, on her way thereto, she saw Bianca Merritt adorned in satin and fur. The girl gave her a once over and walked away, like she was uninvited.
Partly glad the girl did not make much of conversation, Merry withdrew to the open.
~
The misty outside was cold and wet, yet peaceful for the absence of people. It had been quite a while before Christian found Merry alone at the balcony, wrapping her arms around her.
Merry looked up, a little startled, when he rested his hands against the railing. "Feeling low?" the dark-eyed man asked, as his eyes swept over her whole appearance. "A little bit", she admitted, wondering how he hadn't noticed how unbecoming she looked.
"What calls for it?" he asked further, eyes engaged in observing her disposition. "Ah, just thoughts", she said, looking yonder and beyond, into the fog. After a while of comfortable silence, she turned to see him gazing in thoughts.
"Was there not fine company for you to acquaint with?" Merry asked. "There were so many beautiful people."
"I believe I am associating with one right now", he said, giving her a smile.
A warm blush spread across her face before she heard him chuckle. "Is this why you have been belittling yourself all evening?"
She gave him a shy nod, wondering why it seemed so insignificant when he said it. Feeling a great deal comfortable, she turned to face him. "I don't quite feel like I make a perfect fit here", she admitted, watching him wash a glance all over her face.
"Perhaps you would have preferred if we eloped to the Bakery instead?" he suggested, with a smile.
What a beautiful idea.
He opened his arms and she drew close, resting her face against his broad chest. "Did you meet Bianca?" she asked. "Unfortunately", she heard him say, the deep tone of his voice reverberating from within.
"What did she say?"
"We didn't talk. But I assume she was unsettled by the sight of a scar."
Merry paused to consider what he'd said. She didn't know how many thousand times he may have had to face the flame for a mere souvenir of a fearless act.
She felt a large coat sweep over her and his masculine scent clouded her senses. Looking up, Merry saw him drape it over her shoulders. "It's cold here", he whispered.
Not as cold as it was inside...
After a great deal of thought, she asked, "Has it bothered you that my origin remains unknown?"
"About as much as the pebbles on the floor", said he, before she looked around and there was none.
~
Allen listened patiently to Charity talking, yet again, about all the days she had prayed before meals for the ability to feed children at an orphanage some day. He smiled, warm, for no matter how many times she said it, it was lovely listening to her over and over again. Ladye had left to the Estate and the children were asleep.
Charity seemed like she had caught a cold and Allen had gotten her a cup of hot water before she lay on the bed, narrating various things. He stoked little Claire's hair while her sleeping head was on his lap.
For unknown reasons, he was worried of how Merry was, at the ball, although he was rest assured his friend would take fine care of her. He had always admired the man for how patient he was, seeing Nate married away to Sir Davies. It took so much to see Merry even betrothed.
Just then, he heard the sound of their sleigh arrive.