Four years ago, I stepped out of my hometown and travelled all the way to the city of Pali. Pali is a small, seaside city with a sizeable population of students. Despite being much smaller than the capital city, it attracts hoards of students every year mainly because of the presence two top universities in the country. I study in one of them, and trust me, it is an experience in itself. You will meet all kinds of people, and I met one of the most recurring characters in my life over there.
On my first day at university, I happened to become friends with Rishi, who ended up being my partner-in-crime. He is the studious, serious type and is a man of few words. I think he has aged well. He seldom gives advice but when he does, he is too convincing to be a twenty-one year old. Anyway, the most important aspect of his is that he is not quick at judgments. I know that I am impulsive, emotionally speaking, and would respond to situations rather hastily. Though I usually have a devil-may-care attitude towards most challenges in life, I happened to hit a roadblock when I saw her. I am twenty-one; I have had a fair share of vicarious experiences of love and sex through media but call it whatever, I have never found anyone romantically attractive. There are beautiful women friends of mine, from school and university, yet none of them makes my heart go crazy. To Rishi, I am too dramatic about all of this and lack initiative. He says, sometimes you have to spend some time with people to realise how you feel. True, but does that mean instant attraction is without any consequence?
"No, Rahul. I never said that it is without any consequence." Rishi replied, fixing his glasses on his sharp nose and reading a page from Crime and Punishment.
Of all the places on campus, I chose the library to talk about this pressing matter.
"Then? Dude, she literally..."
"...pulled you into some fantastical world of this and that."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever."
Those were pretty loud "yeahs", prompting the bespectacled librarian across the reading room to hush us down.
"Rahul, you probably have watched too much porn,"
"Hey!" I protested in a hush.
A deep sigh is what Rishi took, and I knew he was going to get serious. Every time Rishi becomes serious about something, he looks different. His thick eyebrows curled, underlip tucked in, and glasses put down on the table. For a man who is only of average height, he looks tall and domineering in such circumstances. If only he were wearing a suit from one of those Godfather movies, he would look like one of those you don't want to cross. Turning his head slightly towards me, he let out his words of wisdom.
"If you want to find out the truth, try to find out the truth. Sitting here and talking about it won't help."
Fair enough, he makes sense. I have conjured all kinds of reasons why I felt the way I felt for her. She was sitting at the counter, still and involved yet she drew my attention like the smeared galactic lights do to stargazers.
Most of you reading right now must be thinking how crazy and impossible my pursuit is. Perhaps, I am acting like a kid who wants a toy regardless. May be, I appear like a hopeless romantic or a man-child whose late onset of puberty caused him to confuse sexual drive with infatuation. There may be a few of you who are like me, though, and want to explore with me what there is to my story. Even if it is a silly infatuation, as Rishi impliedly suggested, I'd gamble.
As he said, to find out the truth, you must try to find out the truth.