CHAPTER THREE - Out
"You want more, baby?"
"Hell yeah, baby! But I want you more!"
"Oww! Babyyyy! They might hear you, lessen your voice. If not, I'll kiss you!"
"Baby nooooo. Ohhh baby, that tickles me! Oww, baby stoppp.."
"Mwwah mwah mwahh.."
"Ayyyyy!! babyyyyy.."
Seven become so uneasy as we were sitting here at a bench while at the back of us are some squirmy lovers that looked ten years older than us. They are too groovy like a fish that's being caught by the net because of probably, giddiness. I wanted to burst out my anger but it seemed it won't matter to them.
This is actually the tenth time he brought me here within two months in our relationship. At first I was hesitant, it was too cheap for my cohere. But since it's free, he spends his own money and I am up to exploring new things outside my expensive zone, I was used to it. Affordable yet yummy food on the streets as we date? Why not? Even if I know the foods here are unhealthy it's fine! Though I am maintaining my figure, I'm not obsess with limiting myself majorly on the food I want to eat.
"Do you want us to go to another place, babe?" Seven asked like he was the one who's disgraceful about the people behind us.
I object his opinion and started to eat the food I'm holding. It's tasty and spicy. It's soft, too. I forgot its name but it passed my luxurious taste bud.
"Let's stay here. Seems like they are too engrossed they don't give a heck about us."
He uncertainly nodded. "I'm just worried you're affected." Seven asked secondly and we were bothered again when the lovers bumped into our shoulders from behind. The partition between us and the couple behind us is just underarm-length it didn't helped.
"Affected for what?" I asked getting irritated. What the hell is wrong with these people they're too movable and sweet it's getting aggravating. Patience, dear Aki. Wait, what does he mean? I hint some perversion with me being affected.
Does he mean 'Are you sexually affected by them?'. My mind's really weird I had him misunderstood. But if I am going to answer that question.. if it's them, impossible. But if it's because of him… my traitor heart beat aloud.
That's how my dirty mind works. I can't help it.
"T-they are so mobile. I was afraid it might affect you getting pesky," he sounded so worried.
I looked at him for a span of a minute because I find this cute guy really hot doing those shy actions.
"Are you bothered?" I asked as I tried to fix my hair blown by the wind.
"N-nope, but it's just---"
There's a but. Which means we have the same opinion about them both. He just choose to keep his mouth shut.
"Excuse me?" I can't help it. They're too much! "You both are not the only people occupying this bench." I raised my brow. They seemed disturbed and annoyed.
The girl, with a fatty cheek, raised her brows as well. Gosh! I she planning to bark back? The idea made me shrugged and smirked. Look at your boyfriend bitch and see how his eyes twinkled just by looking at me.
"B-babe, let's go. Let them be," Seven tried to insist.
"Envious of us? Why don't you both do it?" I wasn't aware dinosaurs have high-pitched voice. She looks like one. Her purple eye shadow reminds me of a song's lyric, 'Let's go and kill Barney.'
"Only cheap do that in public." I pulled my gold Gucci wallet from my bag and take out some cold cash good for lodging then lend it to them. "Here, might as well take this. So whatever magnitude you may be in, you won't be branded execrable." Because they can shake the ground alright.
They were dumbfounded and when I noticed they weren't able to budge I took a grip on the woman's hand and harshly put the money there. Maybe year 3000 will come and they can't still get over about what I did. I gave them a large amount so their reaction's normal.
I am mean to someone who doesn't acknowledge me or others especially those who are being disrespectful. I wasn't raised well but I still learned manners. If what I did can even be called a good one. So, don't me.
"Let's go, babe." With that, I grabbed Seven by my arm then walked away. He doesn't have a car but he had a bike. I taught him how to drive using my car so somehow I won't like his personal driver if we date. Well, he's now my driver and at the same time the one who does my assignments and projects.
I know Seven wanted to say something. He seemed embarrassed to what I did but he didn't say a thing. He just stared at me with those dark and brooding eyes. He's probably afraid my bad mood would be switched to him.
"Let's go somewhere." As we entered the car, I command him to bring me to a quiet and clean place. A place where I can rest my bitchy aura and be calm there. He didn't object and just nodded.
I smiled.
Good boy.
He brought me to a place I never knew existed. Peaceful, dramatic, calming. I became placid. If there's one thing he can effortlessly do, it's how he can control my apprehension. I didn't know a place like this exist despite the busy public that surrounds us.
It's maybe because sometimes we foster to generalize things even if we haven't experience or totally know it. Like, when a girl is being cheated by one guy, she'll definitely say boys are all the same. Without knowing and trying others. So is this whole city, I thought there wouldn't be a place that I can find peace.
Or is it really the place?
Darkness and light were battling with each other as we arrived at the place. There were birds hunting on the seashore, probably looking something to eat for dinner.
"Take off your footwear." He told me when we went out of the car and started walking towards the seashore. As I took it off, he picked it up and carried it along the way. Hmm, if possible he'll demand to take off my clothes I'll willingly do it for him. No kidding.
My heart leap when he held my hand tightly. Like he's afraid to lose me. Then out of nowhere, a song played from afar. Could be from a convenient store somewhere. But I couldn't pay attention to where the song is coming from…
My attention was drawn to the hands clasped with each other. It's the warmth that he brings just by his simple touch. Reminds me of life. That I am still alive.
Thoughts flooded my mind.
Plans that I want to succeed.
But now…
Lover's moon won't you shine on me
I'm hanging with a memory
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have one last chance to hold her tight…
Out of nowhere, I smiled again. I tried to stop it by biting my lips, but I can't help it. Is this how a heart flutters? Because it's making me hard to breath I wanted to shriek.
Everything about him felt like home.
He looked at me and smiled. My jaw almost dropped. He looks so fine and amazing in my eyes despite the glasses and the loose jeans and out-of-date hoody and sleeves. I wasn't informed he could be this handsome.
Get your shit together, Aki. He is just no one. You just need him because he's a big help to you. And bitch! Your plan! Shit! Your plan! My thoughts are rumbled as I was getting hysterical convincing my self. I sighed and tried to act naturally.
I diverted my attention to the fine sand on my feet. It feels good to be stepping on it. I was always brought to different places with my previous-nonsense dates. Now I realized natural places like these are way more better and soul-lifting than those places where you spend extravagantly. The crowd less and eye-friendly surroundings made my heart flutter. Even the stars that are about to shine eased my heart that was in turmoil.
"This place is wonderful," I breathtakingly say aloud. I was about to sit when he stopped me and he took off his hoody. We made it as a cover on the sand for me to sit comfortably. I took a glimpse of his naked abdomen when the hoody accidentally tagged along his shirt. It was properly toned. I cleared my throat and fixed my position. "Thanks." What a gentleman!
"Do you like it here?" Seven stared at me his eyes twinkling playfully.
I was stars trucked again with him so I wasn't able to respond immediately. Achaia! What the hell are you doing? "O-of course." The stuttering was unplanned! I want to mast myself but that would make me a complete idiot. There were tickles in my stomach and I'm starting to wonder if I have brought the whole zoo there and not just butterflies.
As we sat there feeling the soft breeze of the wind touching our skin, he took out something from his bag. It was a cheap-branded chocolate which I really love!
"That's great," he said, lend what he's holding to me and stared at the sky.
My eyes stared for a bit on his messy, dark hair to his long, thick eyelashes down to his manly-pointy nose where his eyeglasses rests. I looked at the sea when I realized I was mesmerized by the view beside me. I took a deep breath and fanned myself simply.
"Is it hot?" He noticed what I did so he was getting concerned about it.
In fact, it's cold.I fanned myself because there are random things about you I am thinking that is making no sense.
"No, there was just a mosquito," I lied casually. I think it got him because he checked my surrounding.
"You're the only one he spotted. Are you alright?"He noticed there were no mosquitoes around.
"Yea, I shooed them away." He looked at me for a moment and then he nodded.
"Sorry, do you want to go somewhere else?" He was about to stand but I stopped him.
"No. It's fine." I held his arm not minding the cold breeze slightly kissing my exposed skin. Remind me again why I wore my cropped top today. Tss, if I knew, I would have worn my Maxi dress. I think that's more convenient.
"Okay, babe." Seven smiled charmingly and went back staring unto the sea. My eyes automatically landed on his side-viewed face.
Once, I heard there were a lot of girls who were actually fond of him. Some wanted to fool around, like Mirth, and some wanted to be with him because he is wholesome, like Disney. His brilliant, kind and dependable. He's not a teacher's pet despite his nerdness because some profs are just too fascinated by his brilliance. If I remembered it correctly, he represented our university in an international competition then won. I forgot what the eff was all that but that's when he became popular after his transfer. And also, the whole population realized he wasn't just full of knowledge, he was also kind of sexy and cute.
Then there comes me. My case is different. I have so nasty plans in mind. Found him. Used him. Until I got used to him. Now? I don't know. I want to be with him always though I treat him awfully at the campus. He doesn't seem to mind. And I liked it. Everything about him is something that I really like. Except his sense of fashion.
"How long have you been here since you discovered the place?" I asked when my thoughts are getting uncontrollable.
He didn't answered back.
"Hey!" I nudged him. Is he asleep?
"I don't want to talk about it,"softly he said. Seemed uneasy about the question.
"Seriously? Well, if you don't want to answer, it's fine with me." I intentionally sound down.
"Will you break up with me if I choose to not answer that?" There was a hint of gloominess in his voice.
I laughed. And stared at him again. Oh gods, he must be really into me. Every words I said about breaking up with him when my demands aren't met are all pure joke. All of it was just a prank. I didn't know his falling into it. Really, my plans are starting to work.
"Are you nuts? Or just a complete idiot? Don't believe it, okay?" laughing as I said that.
"For you it might be joke. For me, it's.. it's scary and heartbreaking."
I was shocked I almost gaped. What for? Is he suicidal or something? Gods!
"Scared for what?"
"That I'll loose you."
I was stunned. Then fear followed.
What he said was hard for me to believe. At the beginning of us, I was the one who initiated that he'll be my boyfriend. He nodded without a word. Then days past that he learned to accept me as part of his boring life.
His exact words sent warning signs to me. I grew up in a messy family. Trusting someone that they are afraid to lose me seems like a lie because of the way I was raised. I see people viewing me badly and never in my wildest dreams have I ever thought of them afraid they'll lose me. Even Disney and Mirth. I know they just wanted to be with me because they have no choice. I am just a sore loser trying to act cool. And they effing know that.
And if I am going to weigh my emotions to all the boys I have dated before, they have never made me feel like this. I was used to be viewed as a sex material. A woman who instantaneously welcomes any guy and like a bubble, gets gone with the wind, every time I say no in front of their lascivious faces.
Then they'll spread false rumors that mine is too loose already. Really, douche bags? They haven't even touched even my precious babies and they'll said I'm loose? Bullshit! May they rot in their own graves.
I just let them define me. I just let them. Because if I defend my side, no one will believe. The world runs differently, alright. The more you defend about it, the guiltier you are. And looking at the way I act inside the campus, surely they'll speak lowly of me.
"Why?" I wanted to know the answer. To let my self feel somehow… valued. Again. I admit, my experiences about it are insufficient. Honestly, I forgot how good it feels.
He was confused. "What why?" His forehead creased.
"Why…" Why does he have to be so slow? Do I have to make myself clear? I thought he is a genius? I cleared my throat. "Why are you scared to lose me?" I am expecting a definite answer already but I don't know why I'm feeling deep down in me… fear.
"Why not?" He answered back.
This time, my forehead creased. I was expecting answers like, I'm beautiful, alluring, rich, fun to be with, then… beautiful, ah what else, delicious? Yea, things like that.
His questions just made me self-reflect.
Because why not? Why do I have this sealed mantra that I am to blame for growing up like this? I don't want to blame my parents but ideas just came crushing through my mind and one just stopped and slapped me, I didn't choose to be alive. It's my parents and their sexual drive to get me done. I just hope that all living creatures, big and small, would be responsible with their itch so that no other creature would be left alone hurt . And once that creature is hurt, that creature becomes someone she doesn't want to become. Worst case scenario, she becomes a monster!
The thought made me pity myself, so I wanted out.
Maybe this explains what I am afraid of. Because whatever he says, it'll leave a mark in my heart. For me, this conversation is unhealthy. So, I gathered the strength I could muster to being mad again. Stick to the plan, Aki. Remember, the deeper his grave, the better.
"Why are you changing the topic? I was the first one who asked you the other question," I asked in an angry manner.
He laughed softly. I tensed because I melted. That instant. His laugh came a music to my ears. "Are you mad again?"
"Yeah? Because it suddenly centered on me." Eyes rolling, I said.
"I'm just not prepared to talk about things like that."
"Or maybe, you brought all your woman here," my nose wrinkled with what I said. The idea just boiled my temper more.
"Could be."
"What?!" My eyes widened. Am I wrong about him at all? Could be possible! I glared at him evilly. "So, there are a lot?"
His laughter roared everywhere. I punch his biceps in annoyance.
"Laugh all you want, arsehole?" I didn't stopped punching him with little force as he kept laughing. I smiled. I realized he got muscles. Wait, I'm not an opportunist punching him feeling his muscles. I just didn't know he have it.
"You love me now?" His playful aura driftly shifted being serious. His stare was intense, too. My head spinned.
I was caught off guard. I didn't see this coming. The feelings keep on alarming me and something on my throat stopped me from breathing normally.
"The hell are you talking about?" I darted my eyes away trying to calm my heart.
He didn't say anything and just inhaled deeply. The silence of the night while another song played from afar etched my abnormal beating.
I've. Never. Been. This. Effing. Nervous.
"I'm not stupid, Achaia. I know the real reason why you want me part of your playtime."
My lips still pursed and I swallowed. Hard. The sound vibrated on my ears. He knew? He knew my plans? Does this mean I have to re-plan it?
But what bothered me more is hearing him say my name. Achaia. Why does my name sound so good in his mouth as he said that? What do I expect? I know everything sounds different if it comes from him.
Simply because he's Seven. And dang all those things.
"Two months ago, when you said yes to me, I was wondering who you really are. Jax told me I'll be just one of your random guys. When he learned I didn't budged, he warned me. That I'll only be hurt. But,"he trailed off and breathed deeply again. "Even without hearing anything from him, I already knew. I knew that behind your name, there's more to it. That there are a lot of unfolded and painful stories long been kept."
My toes curled. He got me there. Big time.
My eyes. My heart. My beating. All in unison, it warmed. I was fcking moved! And eff, he knew my plan! Wait, I need more time!
"I'm not expecting anything romantic from you, Achaia. I won't. I won't ask and beg. I know all the many reasons that plays on your mind why out of all the many, you choose me. But I won't go away even if you want me to. That's how, in me, your value works."
Never have I ever heard anyone say that to me. Even dad forgot to let me feel how it is to be loved and appreciated. He is a busy man. He just provides me financially to buy what I want and that's it.
Ever since mom left, dad also left his love for me when she left. I was used to dad's negligence since. And when I was twelve, the twelve-year old thinking of Achaia Zonde was severely built, that I am nothing to no one.
I managed to control my tears that was about to fall. I am close to breaking down. This man, who owns nothing, who is almost a nobody, knows so much about me. And I am afraid.
I don't want to. I don't want to be attached. I'm afraid to be left behind and at the end suffer. If I'm going to fall in love with someone, not with a loser and definitely not Oric's brother. And what about my plans? How will I bring it into completion? It'll be better to stop this amusement or amazement I feel towards him. So, Aki, don't. Every person that you give value leaves. So definitely don't.
So before I got carried away about how much he values me, I chickened out.
"I gotta go."
"W-what?" He seemed perplexed.
I gazed on the sky and tried to discourage myself towards him and not invest emotions with this man. Stick to your plan, bitch! Act now! Before it's too late.
He is a wonky loser who's just trying to get in a way that is just new to me.
I'm sorry, nerd.
The plan has been complete a long time.