Logan and I sat in front of the lake, watching the soft ripples as it dances on the dark water.
The cold breeze passes over the lake, blowing towards us, keeping us cool under the large tree that shades us.
Logan brought me out her to talk, but I'm still waiting for him to answer the question, I ask in the kitchen a short while ago.
Tired of waiting or maybe afraid to hear something that would hurt me, "if you have nothing to say, I could just go back in and continue with the quilt," squinting my eyes at the glare over the lake, I suggested to Logan.
From the corners of my eye I see him turn to look at me, his lips twitching at the corners, as he tries suppressing a smile.
"Prefer making a quilt than spending a romantic afternoon with your charming husband," Logan muses. "Is that how it's going to be when the baby arrives?" He continues. I look at him, shocked at his words, but he was simply staring steadfastly out at the lake.
Frowning, unable to comprehend the words he just spoke.
"You're joking right?" I had to asked, surprise. "I can't believe you think like this about our baby, about me," I followed his gaze as far out on the other side of the lake. "About us."
Leaning forward, resting his elbows on his thighs, scratching his beard.
Since returning from the hospital Logan dress code has changed significantly. The once clean shaven man I met and fell in love with, is gone and in his place, is the brooding man, who now always sports a overnight shadow, but he's still the hottest, guy I know! If I'm being honest, this badboy version of Logan is, intoxicating!
This is who he was born to be and who he'll continue to be, leaving the law abiding citizen, behind!
Logan seems like such a stranger, someone, I'm meeting for the first time and learning about, every single day!
"The closest I ever came to death, was when I laid in a coma for three months." Without looking at me, his eyes steadfast on the waters, Logan whispers softly, breaking through my train of thoughts.
"I returned from the dead to face so much changes, I didn't have time to grasp and then, your pregnancy and possible paralysis threw me. Sometimes, when I look at you, I feel as if I haven't landed on my feet yet." Logan finally looks at me with a guarded expression.
Was I wrong in making the call to continue with this pregnancy, despite the risks involved?
"I'm sorry," I whispered, having never thought about Logan's feeling and him having to deal with the changes revolving around us in a day when I had three months to adapt. "I didn't think you would object to us having a baby," I added, saddened by the possibility that my baby's daddy isn't as excited as I am!
Standing angrily to his feet!
"Is that all you got from what I just said?" He asked angrily, turning away from me, raking his hands through his newly trimmed hair, in frustration.
I didn't answer, keeping the shooting incident buried, the wounds still to raw.
Mr. Stanley died!
His friend and mentor!
"I have to please everyone and I have promises to keep, that it's just overwhelming yet I continue to stay focus, protecting everyone who didn't die." Logan cold dark blue eyes assessed me.
"I'm a burden" I whispered, the words leaving my lips without me processing them in my mind. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that," I quickly try retracting my words, because I knew, it's not true, but by the glint in Logan's eyes, I was too late.
Huffing softly, Logan sat back down on the lawn chair he just a moment ago, sprung up off.
Without looking at me, Logan suddenly started speaking as if he was in a daze, staring with a bland expression at the open water in front of us.
"I was drawn back into a lifestyle I was forced to abandon, based on lies." He says, "if I had a choice I would have never left, after seeing what has befallen the people I love during the past few months." The sad tone in his voice, breaks my heart but I am compelled to hear him out, because I had a feeling, the new chapter in my life, starts after this conversation and other than my mother-in-law and I, everyone supports Logan and dad's plan for the future of the family.
"Loving someone new is scary, especially when it's someone whose total dependency will be on me." He palms his face aggressively, sighing heavily.
Finally he turns to me with a defeated lopsided smile, "there's no going back from here, Jamie." Logan warns me gently.
I understood.
I remember, Mrs. Stanley and Justin's words and I heard the silent threat dad mentioned from Mr. Daniels camp.
Logan will always be a target because of who he is and what he represents, making it impossible for him to sit back.
I can't fight this! As much as keeping us safe is Logan's number one priority, keeping Logan safe is mines.
"I agree," I whispered, afraid but assured, that whatever the future holds for the Daniel's household and it's extended family, we stick together.
Frowning, "you agree to what, exactly?" Logan asks turning around to face me.
I have no other choice than to let him know I'm aware of Clyde Daniel and the part he played in my injuries and Mr. Stanley's death.
Oh how the life I thought I was born to live has changed dramatically in less than a year.
"Being the wife of a mafia Prince," I responded softly keeping eye contact with him, observing the different emotions flickering in his eyes.
Logan's lips quivered, but whatever words lingered on his lips, didn't pass though his mouth.
Kneeling in front me, "are you sure?"