Ever since that night I was feeling a hollow in my chest wanting to be done with the pain. I would have given anything for that memory to go away. I wish I hadn't gone there or even met Raja. That night was worst night in my life till that day. I was a happy child though naughty willful stubborn and crazy. I couldn't even imagine myself happy anymore not even thinking about setting cook on fire didn't give me any relief. I didn't know what to do then. If it happened today I would have drowned my sorrows with a good bottle of vodka. My whole life has been threatened by an old hag I wish she had given him something worst like Aids that would have made me happy or does it? I was not that small i knew I was a kid but Raja was a man. Love was different for men or boys I knew once my friend Leela said she kissed a boy one day and next day while kissing he tried to pull off her shirt when she snapped he said he won't waste time anymore with her because there were other girls who are ready to give blow job at his command. I was surprised if a boy wanted it so much that he broke up that day itself with her so sure it would mean a lot to a man. I will allow him to keep a woman but a condition she would see him far outside my house and he shouldn't kiss her on lips because that was only my right whenever I come of age ofcourse. Then I thought about it more and only thing I could see in my mind was her giving blow job's which immediately made me to throw up and never think about it again. Now I'm forced to think about it instead of a girl I see old cook her smile crooked beckoning Raja him walking towards her as if in a trance. I didn't want to think this but nothing else is coming to my mind.
I hate this confusion and it rained that day you must be thinking why I was mentioning it. it's kind of important. See whenever it rained Raja and me will be together and will notbe quarreling it will create a moment for us. Yes I know but believe me it's true. Remember that day when Raja came to bring me home it rained not just light heavy downpour. I feel it's my mother's work still looking out for me from heaven. The sky was clear earlier why was it I wondered then I didn't notice it it was only second time. I felt little better and I stepped out but stayed away from stable and the guy who was wreaking my heart. I here a shout "Hey wait. I wanted to talk to you ". To my surprise it was Raja I didn't stop i speedily walked away from him rain was still pouring heavily on us now both of us now away from anything shielding us from rain. "I didn't want you to see that don't tell anything to your father it will not happen again". So he didn't want me to tattle what I saw to father not for saying sorry to me."it was disgusting can't believe someone touched you yuck.You smell of horse shit yuck". His eyebrows rose at my banter his face gave sad small smile and said "I won't forget this thanks for reminding me brat". I just looked at him for a second no I can't lie anymore I need to get out of here fast. I put another step Forward unfortunately stepping on a horse shit lying and fell down. "I now believe in karma" was all he said. Trying to bite back the laughter and helping me up. I let him hadn't touched me before like that it was special kind of surprise he was carrying me all the way home it was very short yet satisfying journey I kept my mouth shut. He was grateful after going inside I was placed on sofa and he went out none doubted this because I was a kid and nobody expected mighty raja will one day fall in love with a brat. But that won't be today it was a long path for us to find another long for walking to that destination.
Is love enough to keep two people together personally I think it is but more than that there should be something else sacrifice for the other person. True love is sacrifice for the other person's happiness. What we sacrifice you may ask sometimes it will be tv remote other times it will be last slice of pizza. What ever your love asks what ever you are capable of. To me it's not easy from being so selfish in whole your life to be not it's kind of difficult. That times I couldn't spare kind words for him sacrifice was far away. People grow this time Raja was perfect kind of guy but he will not be anymore and it kind of saddens me it was because of me. His kindness was one of most beautiful qualities about him. once I got away from distraction of his beautiful smile I quickly noticed his gentle way of handling animals he never tried to beat him instead he used sweet words and they responded to that. Even my favorite horse Rani was not immune to that. We all loved him for it. i felt guilty because of my lie no matter was coerced by circumstances made him distrust others. I didn't feel i could excuse myself even if I was a kid. I heavily sighed looking out has it started raining i smiled myself I think universe is telling me again to not disappoint my readers by saying all the sad stuff about us. I just wanted everyone to know after our initial meeting I changed for better but Raja's case was not the same. But who cares all is well that ends well right?