A few months later
The deep purple tone feels heavy on my lips, charcoal whisps weighing on my lashes. The black liner bring out the lifeless grey of my irises.
I rub a piece of my hair between my fingers, the black dye officially gone leaving behind a sort of chestnut color.
I sigh at my reflection.
All these years of dyes and colored contacts and I still couldn't seem to get away.
I look away.
I'll never look like my mother so there's no point. After everything's that has happened this past year I could be worrying about other things.
"Nevy, Dear, Kahlil is here." Mom peeks into my room.
I blow out some air as my cheeks deepen.
"Okay. Mom, I'll be right out."
She beams at me then giggles before leaving.
I decide to ignore her.
Yes, other things... like this date I'm about to go on.
I press my hands against my cheeks.
I can't tell if my hands are freezing or if my face is just that hot.
I shake my head.
God, I'm such a child.. when's the last time I went on a date anyway?
My eyes widened as I stop.
Wait.. is this, no it can't be... right?
My.. first date.
There's a slight knock on my door. "Heaven."
My cheeks begin to boil.
Oh, shit.
"You ready?"
I glance at myself one more time in the mirror before getting up and walking to my door. Opening it enough so that an eye's visible I over him. "Yeah."
Slowly opening the door farther, I see him in all his glory.
His smile at war like the sun while his eyes richer than any chocolate I've come across. And don't even get me started on his fluffy locks. By now they've grown a lot and have flourished gracefully, forming coiled springs.
Normally, he'd get his haircut every week or so but I advised him to try something new a month or so ago and I must say I am extremely proud of myself.
I smile softly at him before my eyes begin to wonder.
Oh, and the things you can see...
A white crisp collared shirt which hugs his well-built body, the top buttons left undone to preview his caramel colored chest.
I stare at the exposed flesh for what feels like too long (yet never long enough) before my finally eyes continue down. Slowly, my tongue begins to moisten as my mouth waters.
God, why is he so gorgeous.
"I can't believe how gorgeous you are."
I blink back to reality, my cheeks instantly turning red. "Thank you.. You look great too." I glance up at him through my lashes.
He smiles big and wide before reaching out his hand to me.
His smile passes on to me as I grin back at him. The light, fluffy feeling in my chest causes my head to spin. His smile greater than anything I've ever smoked or ate.
Our hands connect causing light tingles to shock the tips of my skin.
"May our magical night begin."
⚁ ⚀ ⚀
"Thanks." His suit jacket hugs my goosebumps away.
He smiles, shaking his head. "Ditto." He puts his hands in his pocket as his eyes get lost in the dewy night.
The moonlight highlighting the left side of his face, giving it ominously beautiful look. His lashes and lips being the night lights favorite, glistening.
I feel my throat go dry as I try to swallow.
Why is he so gorgeous?
"What do you mean by that?"
His eyes slowly far from the sky and catch mines causing an array of emotions to bloom.
Oh, lord.
"Thank you." He smiles again.
My palms begin to moisten for the third time tonight.
"For w-hat?" I wrap his suit around my small frame, trying to distract myself.
"Being you."
My chest tingles at his words.
"For being strong, for staying, for fighting, for.. just being you." His voice becomes light while his words weight in heavy. "That night when Hunter knocked me out I thought I was done, that it was over." His eyes stare off into the night again as his facial structure grows stern. "I thought I'd might see my mom again, not the one who was sickly, weak and constantly in and out of the hospital but the one who showed everyone kindness yet fought fiercely for her family."
I smile softly.
I'll never get tired of when he talks about his mother. He seems so innocent and sweet in those memories he's shared with me. Making me feel a little broken that he lost her.
"But then all these things started hitting me at once. They all left me in distress, yes, but there were two things in particular which really hit me." His eyebrows furrow. "What if I wasn't good enough to reach heaven?"
My heart pushes painfully into my ribs.
What! Why would he even think that?
"Am I even ready to die?"
I grab his hands tightly stopping both of us in our trails. My hard eyes connecting with his soft ones. I frown.
"Kahlil, you're one of the greatest people I know, how could you say this?!"
He shakes his head violently. "No, Nevaeh, you don't know. I've done so many shameful things in my life. Things I can never take back," his breath goes ragged as he tries to take it. "And the worst part is I don't want to." He stops to calm himself down.
My confusion grows as I watch him hold onto my hands like I'd run away if he let go.
These past few months I've been really taking the time to get to know the boys who've been influential in my life, especially the one right in front of me. They've shared so many things with me and we've come so close from that and dealing with our shared experience and wounds caused by someone who I thought had changed.
A lump grows in my throat. I shake the thoughts away, focusing on the man in front of me.
If all this is true then.. why do I feel so in the dark?
"That's why I just couldn't die. I still have so many things to do, problems to fix, people to live for..." his eyes finally meet mine causing my lungs to stop working. "People like you,"
My heart thrashes painfully in my chest as it warms to temperature which is too much yet just right.
"My heaven on Earth. Probably the closest thing to heaven for someone like me." His voice begins to shake while I try to stay on my feet.
"That's why I need you, you baptize my soul and make me forget who I am. Your existence is the reason why I believe in hope."
Before I know it, he brings me closer. His eyes stare straight into me making my body boil into a light and fluffy cloud.
"I want you to stay and never leave. I want you to feed my selfish desires and be my one and only heaven, a place I can say I truly belong."
My body feels weak yet it's never been so strong. My heart feels as though is it's oozing lava and it's traveling my entire soul, warming it to perfection. And my head, it's never been so full of so much emotions yet still unable to express any of them.
It isn't until I feel water drip from my lashes that I understand what I need to do.
I want to kiss him, I have to.. so I do.
I grip his white crisp shirt, pulling myself up towards him and connect my lips to his.