Seeing your ex-boyfriend again whom you once loved dearly, is another kind of pain. It's like thousands of needles piercing through your heart. It's not like he cheated on you, that would have been different. You are scared what if your feelings burst out the moment you see him? What if you want to get together again after whatever shit happened? It's a normal thing to get all these thoughts but to overcome them, is a challenge. You cannot stop loving that person but your feelings might fade away, it might. There's a difference in them.
Shi Lian is out of breath now. She runs as fast as she could to get out from there, away from him. She just couldn't breathe in his presence and she does not know why. She has moved on and came this far, she cannot afford to fall back in her past. She tries to divert her attention to the arrangements she has made but her mind is pooling about him, everything him.
"Shi! We are here!" Mo Sha Sha's voice echoes come from behind.
"Thank God! You are-"
'Why him?! What is mother trying to do?' she yells in her mind when she sees Atian coming with her. When they come nearer to her, Shi Lian ignores them and pretends to settle the camera and its lens.
"Are we ready?" her mother asks cheerfully.
"I need to talk to you. Excuse us" Shi Lian gives Atian a forced smile and drags Sha Sha to a corner where Atian can not hear her.
"Why did you bring him with you?" she yells in a low voice, looking carefully in his direction so as not to get caught badmouthing about him.
"I cannot help it. He looks so pitiful right now that I felt sorry for him. I thought it would be good to bring him with us.." she says with a guilty conscience.
"Good? Mother! You know he is Hu Atian, right?" she is getting angry now.
"Shi, I know. But can't we just let go of the past and create new memories again?"
"It's easy to say" her voice is low and it can be barely audible.
"At least we can try, right?"
"I….I don't know" she turns her head away from her mother as an indication to end the conversation. Mo Sha Sha sighs. She cannot do anything to change her stubborn daughter's mind.
"Are you ready, mother?" she asks holding the camera in her hand like she is a professional photographer. Hu Atian stands beside her but at a distance knowing Shi Lian will not feel comfortable about it.
"I think so" Sha Sha replies hesitating. Even though she has been photographed a thousand times, still she is not that comfortable when it comes to posing and all.
"Mother, it will be fine. Relax and just do what you will do when you are in the garden. Forget about the camera, okay?" Shi Lian soothes her with her words and her mother starts to relax a little.
Atian smiles seeing how encouraging and kind Shi Lian is, same as before. In his heart, he knows that she is the same Shi Lian, the one who he loves but she feels far away from him.
There's this barrier layered by Shi Lian, which is hard to break but he will do anything to win her heart all over again.
*Click* *Click*
One after another, she clicks numerous photos and each one of them is fabulous. The dresses become alive when Sha Sha wore them, it's like it was meant for her and that is what Shi Lian had wished.
"Aunt, you are doing great!" Atian cheers. Even though she hates the idea of Hu Atian being here but she cannot protest because of her mother. It's good he is not talking to her, she doesn't talk to him either.
"Mother, try a new pose" Shi Lian suggests, still clicking. Sha Sha nods but she does the same pose again. Shi Lian tells her again but nothing new comes.
"Aunt! Look at me! Do this" Atian, standing beside Shi Lian and suggests her. He does some poses(easy ones) and asks Sha Sha to do the same. She tries to imitate him and turns out to look good. Shi Lian does not say anything and just clicks the photos.
"Alright…pack up!" she yells like a director and laughs afterward on her own.
They all go back to Mo mansion and talk on their own. Mo Sha Sha changes her clothing to her normal ones, her normal clothes are worth more than 3 million. That's how freaking rich they are! Shi Lian examines the photos she has taken while Sha Sha and Atian are sipping tea and chatting with each other.
"Atian, I didn't have the chance to ask before…..have you recalled everything? I mean you got your memories back?" she asks, taking a glance at Shi Lian. Atian first takes a glance at Shi Lian and then facing his aunt he says, "Yes, I have. I remember everything now. It's been more than six months after my recovery but still my body is weak. I am not strong like before" he says humorously.
Shi Lian does her best not to listen to him but they are talking right in front of her so there is no way she cannot hear them.
He then continues, "I feel bad that I took this long to remember and also-"
"I am going upstairs" Shi Lian interrupts intentionally to leave from this stuffy atmosphere as soon as she can. She travels fast, taking two stairs at a time and run to her room.
"She resents me so much..." he expresses. He looks upset and hurt but he knows he deserves it. He felt bad the moment he got to know the whole situation that had happened when he lost his memory.
"Atian…..it will be fine. She is been through a lot and it's reasonable for her to be like this. She has changed a lot during these five years..." Sha Sha becomes emotional. Every time she talks about her daughter's past, she gets filled with tears.
"I know…but she is still the same Shi Lian for me," he says gently, holding her hand to support her.
"It wasn't fair for you both" she cries clenching his hands tightly.
"We cannot do anything when it comes to fate, can we?" he muses.
"I know I should be blaming my mother right now but for how long? She is my mother, I know she only wanted the best for me at that time…..but the outcome wasn't favored at all" he continues telling her, to make her understand and to stop her from crying.
"Oh Atian….." she hugs him.
'You can do this! Be normal!' Shi Lian motivates herself by looking at the mirror in her room. She is doing this since the moment she came running from downstairs.
During the past five years, every time she thinks of Atian, the accident and what Hu Meng said to her came in front of her. She thought she won't be able to overcome this but she managed to do it with the help of Evelyn. It took her a long period to overcome her past and she cannot afford to fall back in that mudhole again. Even though she loves him, she cannot have any strings attached to him and after all her purity is has been given to someone she doesn't know. Love and relationship are the things she wants right now.
There is a knock on the door which makes Shi Lian startle. She was arranging and clipping the pictures from her camera so that she can present them to Ruxi and her father for the company's comeback and delete the news of plagiarism. She gets up to open the door closing the files. She opens the door and to her surprise, it is Atian who is standing in front of her.
"What are you doing here?" she gasps.
"Can't I even come to talk to you?" he smiles a bitter one.
"You know that's not what I meant" she protests.
"I need to talk to you," he says in a serious tone. She knows it won't be any casual talk and that's the reason she does not want to talk but at the same time, she wants to have a clean break from him.
"Umm….Alright," she agrees and moves one step to her left to let him come inside.
He steps inside; he came to this room numerous times and now it feels all ancient to him. When they were a couple, they used to spend their time in this room reading to each other and talking about various kinds of stuff without feeling bored. Those were the most memorable days for both of them.
"It's still the same as before.." he mumbles examing her room without his glittering eyes.
"I didn't have the time to furnish it" she answers him without even realizing that it sounded rude.
For almost 5 minutes, they are silent, no one is talking.
"So you wanted to talk?" she asks breaking the awkward silence between them.