"I need my brother to came back. I need all came back even me. I want my old self to came back without having an anxiety and depression. How can you all things back without regrets? Sige, sabihin na natin na tama ang ginawa mo dahil iniligtas mo kami nang anak mo. How about your cousin, Krisha? She is nowhere to be found to even my mother and father? Paano mo maibabalik ang mga bagay na nawala?" I cried again for the third time when my memories of my family flashback on my mind.
Maybe, I have a mistakes too. I didn't trust him enough so he decided to make plan all by himself. I almost had miscarriage without thinking of my son year ago. Panigurado, nabaliw na ako. Maybe, lack of trust I had to him. He is sick, he doesn't think twice before he make a plan. He shot me and he broke my heart. I blane all the things to him because of his stupid plan. Who would accept that when my Family and my Best friend are now gone?
"I am so sorry, I promised that I will fixed this." Nagmamakaawa sya sa akin, nakaluhod sa harap ko habang nasa loob pa ako ng kotse kaharap nya.
Natawa ako. Ito yung gusto ko e, yung magsisi sya at lumuhod sa harap ko. Ito na 'yon, nangyari na nga. Pero bakit ang sakit? Ang sakit makita na ang taong minahal mo ng buo noon at hanggang ngayon ay nandito at nagpakita para magmakaawa sa kasalanang ginawa nya?
"I understand your point of view, Lucas. I understand that you want a revenge but does your Mom and Dad will be happy for you kapag ginawa mo ang mga bagay na iyon?" I asked him some question because of curiosity, some things not right.
Bakit kailangan madamay pati ang Pamilya ko? Hindi pa ako nakikipag ayos kay Ate Aaliyah, isabay pa si Daddy. I wished I could turn back the time so Ivcan say sorry to them, for their hard work for us. For Mom and for my little brother. I missed him so much.
"It's hard to had a second chance for me but I'll try my best to find your Family, Chloe. Please, I'm begging you. I swear, we will find your family in the next days."
"How about your first love? Did she broke your heart so now you went into me, begging for some love?" Iyak ko sa kanya habang sinasabi iyon.
Sobrang sakit na sa pakiramdam, gusto ko na lang sumuko at talikuran sya. Pero nang maalalang hinahanap palagi ng anak ko ang ama nya ay doon ako nasasaktan. How can I give his dreams when he's father broke me into pieces?
"I could forgive you, but not in the way you broke me and my family. It so hard to forgive you. I am so sorry, I will participate and helped you to find my Family but I didn't know if I can give you a second chance to my life. " Dagdag ko pa kaya narinig ko lalo ang hagulgol nya at ang pagsunod ng bagsakan na mga luha nya.
"I would never give up, Chloe. I swear and she is not my first love. It was an act so you can escape because I don't want to involve you. I hurt you those days and I feel so sorry. I know you're not okay but I shot you either. I am not a man, I was a beast not thinking about our child but I'm desperately to push you. So the enemy won't harm you and our baby." Hawak nya ang kamay ko habang umiiyak sya. Walang tigil ang luha ko sa pagtulo dahil sa sakit na idinulot nya sa akin.
He's alone, his sister was nowhere to be found. Maybe, they kidnapped her so they will make Lucas to suffer. So this game still not yet end because of our love was nowhere to be found huh? He was suffering and I wanted to help him. Kahit masakit, kahit ayoko nang makita pa ang lalaking sumira sa akin, ang sumira nang tiwala ko sa kanya, ang nagsira sa lahat. Ang pagsira ko, sa abilidad nya, at kulang sa tiwala at sa pagmamahal. Ay muling hindi na muli maaayos pa hangga't hindi pa ulit namin mapapatunayan na totoong mahal namin ang isa't isa.
Mula sa saya, at sakit sa huli. Hindi ko akalaing darating ako sa ganitonh buhay ko, na maski ako nahihirapan dahil sa dinadala kong sakit. I wished, I have a freedom. Magawa ko man lang ang nagagawa ng iba. Ang magmahal ng hindi ganito ka sakit. Ang magmahal ng walang sinisira, ang magmahal ng malaya.
"Nasasaktan ako pero kapag naaalala ko ang ginawa mo ay bumabalik ang galit ko." Sabi ko sa kanya, ito ang matagal ko nang gustong sabihin. "Mahal kita e, pero bakit naman ganito? Bakit kailangan sobrang sakit? Bakit kailangan may masira? Bakit kailangan, may mawala?" Hindi na halos ako maiyak dahil nauubos na ang luha ko habang nakatingin sa pulang mata nya. "Bakit kailangan, maghirap at mag suffer muna tayo para magising tayo sa mga maling ginawa natin? At ang huli. Bakit ang sakit mong mahalin?"
Sinabi ko iyon lahat sa kanya. I felt the stabbed on my chest repeatedly. His tears was non-stop and he hold my hands tightly, scared that I will go in front of him and leaving him behind.
"I'm sorry, for all my mistakes, please give me a second chance. I will love you endlessly and I will gave you a freedom you want and a peaceful life. I promised, I will not broke it this time. I can't live without you, please Chloe."
Pain. That was all I felt when he said those words in front of me. Akala ko, naka move on na ako. Akala ko lang pala. Iyong kahit anong sakit pa ang ibigay nya sa akin ay nandito ako, nakikinig sa mga rason nya. It was a betrayal and it was hard to accept the fact that he is The Boss. Our Highest Boss in our organization.
His first true love was died in his hands and telling me the truth that he was failed to protect her and make a regret decision in his life for years. Without making a plan too. But his love for her was not the same from now. Because of thought unconditional love. Ever since, he begged for me, for the second chance and for our sons. I almost plan to make him suffer and escaped with our son so he cannot see him anymore. But I realized it was too much. I don't want my son to suffer like me and his Daddy.
All I can do was to nodded at him. I am tired listening but it was valid reason. My thoughts are now calm and my body too. The anxiety attacked was now gone. He offer me to drive to my home. Hindi ako nagsalita dahil hindi ko na din alam ang sasabihin ko. In my age, I can't still believe this will happening to him with me.
Hindi ito yung gusto ko eh. Pero bakit naging ganito? I thought we will be happy in the future, pero mukhang binawi dahil sa buhay na meron kami. It's still not normal. We arrived at home in 2 pm. My son run to open the gate for me but stopped when he saw Lucas beside me.
"Dad." Sagot nya ka agad habang blanko lamang nakatingin sa kanya. He was not surprised to see his Dad because I always stalked his account on Facebook. My son saw him in the picture.
"Son." Nagkatinginan ang dalawa at mukhang hindi alam ang gagawin. I sighed in defeated before making close to them and hugged them in circle.
I heard Ellios sobbed when he finally hugged his Dad. I was happy and finaly to see them happy. My own family is completed. Pero kulang pa din ang saya na iyon hangga't hindi pa namin nahahanap ang mga magulang ko at ang Ate nya.
Lumabas mula sa loob si Hans. He saw the two boys in front of the gate. His eyes locked into mine and smiled at me. Na para bang masaya at nagawa ko na ang matagal nang hinihiling ng anak ko. I didn't know if he is truly happy or he is just pretending.
"Finally, tinupad mo na ang hling ng anak mo for 7 years na nagtago ka sa U.S para lamang buuin ang sarili mo kasama ako." He chuckle before he tapped my shoulder.
Tumingin ako sa kanya. "Totoo bang saya yan, o baka naman nag pe-pretend ka lang dahil hindi kana kailangan dito?" Biro ko na ikinatawa nya bago tingnan ang anak kong buhat na ng Daddy nya.
"Of course I am. I'm still healing and erase my feelings for you. Simula pa lang naman, talo na ako. Anong laban ko sa ama ng anak mo hindi ba? I will missed Ellios. 7 years din akong tumayong tatay sa kanya." Umiwas ako ng tingin ng makitang naluluha na ang mata nya.
"We grow him up for 7 years. Sana nga, ako na lang din yung totoong ama so I can't leave without you. But now, I know this will ne happening soon and I'll leave from the house. And at least, wala akong pinagsisihan sa mga desisyon ko sa buhay kasama kayong dalawa." Sabi pa nya at ginulo ang buhok ko. He smiles are genuine and I can feel his sincerity.
Tumikhim ako habang dinig ang tawanan ng dalawa. "So you'll leave now?"
"No." Umiling sya na ipinagtaka ko. Mabuti na lamang at hindi na nya pinansin ang itsura ko galing sa iyak kanina.
"I'm staying unti you found your parents and siblings together with him. After that, I'll go back to work and learn how to love and protect myself."
"Thanks for all the efforts and time. Kahit nagalit ako noon sayo, ito pa rin ang ginawa mo. Maybe you had a reason back then, why you still choose to suspect him. Little didn't I know, sya pala ang pinaka boss. Not only in our Organization. Sa iba pa pala." Sarkastikong sabi ko sa kanya kaya natawa sha ulit.
"Of course, the best hacker will be. Hindi ko din naman sya gagawing suspicious or some suspect if I don't have a reason. The spotlight goes to him. He's the richiest here in the Philippines. Born in L.A. His mother was from an L.A and his Father is here from the Philippines. They both English and Filipino. Naging model pa nga ang Parents noon. But Tragic, they both became blind because of money. His Sister was the neutral among the Family. Her kindness and beauty make her famous. Tumutulong ang Ate nya sa mahihirap without Lucas knowing. Dahol naranasan nila noong bata pa."
I feel proud about his Sister. She's actually kind and intimidating when I first saw her in Airport. She's like a model in my first impression to her and I'm not wrong according to Hans. She is the Older and the heir of their Companies and Hotels in L.A.
But what happened in their past cannot be erased in their memories forever and proud that they choose to be kind and helped other people than choose to be evil.
2 Chapters left before the 'Epilogue'