[Past Life]
I decided to wander around the school by myself for my next art project. Charlotte was away due to her club activities, and I did not like forcing myself to associate with other when Charlotte is not around.
I thought that I would explore the school instead. If anyone is going to explore the school, the higher the scenery the better it is.
I used a hairpin of mine to unlock the the door up to the clocktower. Students are not allowed up this far due to safety reasons, but I should be fine if I am caught since I am Prince Erik's fiancée. With this excuse, I can nearly avoid any kind of punishment.
The ledge seemed fairly safe from the size of it being around forty centimeters in width and there being another ledge below for if I were to fall off. I easily climbed upwards and rested myself along with my feet up onto the ledge.
A cold breeze swept through my hair softly. I should have brought a shawl for myself...I might get a cold from staying up here.
I saw a familiar person walking below in the garden. It was His Highness walking alone. I thought about calling out to him, but then Lady Kaya had appeared walking beside His Highness alone. She clung to his sleeve from behind. His Highness did not seem to refuse her either. I am aware that he should not brush off other girls so easily for political reasons, but why is seeing such a thing unbearable?
My heart stung as I watched them become friendly. I met up with His Highness for lunch in a study room.
"Lady Kaya is not as bad as I thought," he said suddenly. "She appears frivolous at a glance. That is only because she is naive. I hated her at first, but then I found out that she is easy to talk to and she knows various things. If you talk to her, you will understand too."
While he was talking about her, I could only beg for him to stop countless times within my mind. I felt sick about how smart that woman was at using her assets to charm Prince Erik so easily. It is because of my pride that I cannot do the same.
"I apologize...I must get going," I said as I got up.
Hearing him compliment another woman had brought me pains within my stomach. It did not go away even after I went to bed in the night. I ended up not sleeping a wink.
Before I knew it, I had equestrian classes in the morning already. Class had just started, yet I was already wiping sweat from my forehead. Today's morning rays are a bit intense today. Part way through riding on my horse, my vision became dazed.
"Lady Arielle, there is an obstacle over there!" someone had yelled.
I immediately yanked at the reins. I was unable to avoid the obstacle in my course and had flew off from my horse.
Later, I had woken up within the school infirmary.
"How are you feeling?" Garett asked.
His thick glasses contained a glare from the sun that caused his eyes to be hidden. Even so, I could tell that he was worried about me.
"Did you help me?" I asked him.
"You just happened to be on my path."
Liar...
You were desperately chasing after me.
"I see."
"You are so troublesome."
His mouth is so rude even when I am in pain.
"I apologize for you to have to go out of your way for a troublemaker like me..." I said as I sat up.
"Why did you get on a horse if you were unwell?"
"I wanted to get my mind off of things..."
"I assume that it has to do with Prince Erik then?"
Nothing escapes him...
"...It bothers me how Lady Kaya and him have gotten close."
"...Just because of a little jealousy?"
"Jealousy? Me?"
"I would not know what to call it if it were not so."
"Ah, this is jealousy...I never knew until now."
I was always a cold woman by heart. I never felt jealousy before because I lived a comfortable life where there was no need for me to feel jealous of anyone until now.
"It is painful for you, isn't it?" Garett asked as he inches closer to me.
"Excuse me?"
"Your fiancé must show a face befitting of his title. He will marry women aside from you...When he gets tired of your looks, or while you are bearing his child, he will go to another woman. Can you stand the bitter loneliness when that happens?"
My heart felt like tearing itself apart from his cruel words.
"...That is the duty of–"
"He will treat other women the same way as he treats you," Garett said.
I felt like exploding with anger.
I threw my pillow at Garett's face.
"Shut up! I do not want to hear it! Who are you to judge me and tell me that my love with Erik will not make me happy? I have always lived for my duty...I thought that I was fine with just that. Then, I eventually came to like him. I am literally watching my own fiancé being swept away in front of my own eyes. All because of that woman, I am feeling so many different emotions that it is sickening. I hate it all!"
"If you are being pressured to the point that it is driving you mad...how about marrying me?"
My heart calmed down immediately.
"What are you saying? I am engaged. Also, you are in love with another woman..."
"I am in love with an engaged woman...Have you never wondered who that was?"
"Pardon?"
"It seems that you really this dense..."
"You are always mean to me and every other woman I know, so how am I supposed to know who it could be?"
"I have always been in love with you."
My heart sunk.
I am the object of his affection?
This does not make sense.
If it is true...for how long?
No matter what, I can never return his feelings...I am the fiancée of Prince Erik and the future Queen of this nation.
Furthermore, I already gave up my feelings for this person...
"...E-Even if this love will only bring me unhappiness, I will not leave Prince Erik."
"Do you really love him?"
"...I..."
I felt Garett's face inching towards me.
"You cannot provide a clear and immediate answer...I am telling you that your love is artificial. You are blinded by your duty and fool yourself into believing that what you are feeling is true. The only moment you really felt connected is only with me."
Garett grabbed my wrist and pressed me against the wall. He turned his head slightly as he approached me with slightly parted lips. He was close enough for me to smell him. He smelled of fresh pines. This pressure on my wrist the toughness of his skin. I became aware that this person was also a man...
I do not exactly hate Garett. Rather, he was also a person I held in my heart.
If I let him kiss me, will things change? Can I stop feeling miserable for myself?
No, I cannot forgive myself from achieving happiness by myself even if this is the easier road...No matter how much I will suffer in the future, my feelings for Prince Erik are not this weak.
"...I am going to be with Prince Erik. That is my final answer," I said firmly.
Garett had backed away from me.
"You are a stupid woman. It cannot be helped if you are in love with him," he said as he stood up. "It is best to be honest with Prince Erik as you are with me...Saying that I like you was a lie."
Was it really a lie?
Prince Erik had shown up in the infirmary about twenty minutes after Garett left. This time, he was with Lady Kaya again.
"Your Highness...Lady Kaya..."
"She seems fine, how about we go somewhere, Your Highness?" Lady Kaya said as she reached for His Highness' arm.
He quickly brushed her aside and went to my side.
"I heard that you fell off from your horse," he started as he sat on the edge of the bed. "Are you alright, Arielle?"
"Y-Yes..."
His Highness tapped his forehead against mine.
"I am glad that you are fine. I don't know what I would do if something happened to you."
My heart soared from just this small act.
The bell for classes had rung.
"Prince Erik, it is time to get going to your next class," Lady Kaya intervened.
"You are right," he said as he began to get up.
I pulled on Prince Erik's sleeve.
"Arielle?"
I kissed him abruptly. Since it was my first time initiating, I accidentally bumped into his teeth. It was too late to back down, so I pressed forward to an even deeper kiss.
"I love you, Prince Erik!" I said abruptly.
"Arielle?"
"I do not need a monogamous marriage or anything like that. All I want is to be by your side...Please just don't throw me away."
Prince Erik wrapped his arm around my waist.
"You can go away now. You have served your purpose in making my lovely fiancée jealous."
"Huh?" Lady Kaya and I said in unison.
"My Ari usually only shows her true emotions only at critical moments. She got splendidly jealous and showed her emotions through her actions just now. I was right...You are the only person for me and only me," Prince Erik said as he brought me closer to his embrace. "You are the only one who can be my wife. Anyone else is no good."
What a crazy man...He did all this to get me jealous.
I felt him pushing me down onto the bed. He began kissing my ears over and over again.
"P-Prince Erik!" I cried.
Lady Kaya is still here!
He paid her no mind and began licking and biting my ears. My body began gathering heat as Prince Erik continued pressing his body against mine. His lips were soon back on my lips and pressing down on me strongly. I felt my strength leaving my body rather quickly. It seemed like forever before Prince Erik parted from my lips.
"You are still here?" Prince Erik asked Lady Kaya.
She had fallen to her knees from the sight of us kissing.
For someone who has several men waiting hand and foot on her, she is rather innocent.
"You are supposed to be with me...I am the Heroine," Lady Kaya said.
Heroine? She is delusional.
"My heart only has room enough for Arielle. Now, leave..."
Lady Kaya got up and ran outside.
"You are a cruel person...How could you use another person to just get to see your fiancée jealous?"
"I thought you did not love me enough. You kept on saying that you were fine with having me look at other girls. It made me think that you did not love me or just did not care about me. Every single time you talk to another male, I suffer through so much jealousy that I almost want to kill every male that comes near you. I thought I was the only one Seeing as though you got jealous, can I assume that you also want to keep me to yourself?"
"I do...I want you to only look at me and love only me."
We later hugged each other to sleep. I woke up much later to see that Prince Erik was still lying beside me with his eyes closed.
His face was so close to mine, so I thought about touching his eyelashes and his soft lips again with my fingers.
"Do you want more love, Ari?" he asked as he pulled me onto his chest.
"That is not it...I feel like I do not get to see your face often."
Prince Erik held me in his arms and rolled to his side.
"Look as much as you want."
A familiar scent wafted in my nose.
"You smell like pines..."
"Really?"
"Just like Garett..." I accidentally blurted. Prince Erik flinched slightly. As I thought, it is bad to be talking about another man in this situation. "Forgive me for talking about another man while I am in your arms."
"N-No...You can talk about whatever you want."
"I just wonder why you two smell so alike...Are you cheating on me?"
"Garett is a guy!"
"He is unexpectedly beautiful under his glasses...He looks a lot like you."
"That is to be expected. Garett is my cousin...Coincidentally, we look similar enough to be twins."
"I never heard of that," I said as I grabbed his collar.
He is flustered...
"I'm sorry..."
"You have some rather distasteful hobbies and always flirt around with your good looks and are insensitive towards me when I tell you to stop. If you were not a Prince, I would have chopped off your seed canon," I said irritatedly.
"My dear fiancée, please do not say such scary things with your lovely face..."
"I only hope that our child does not become twisted like you."
"Our child, huh?" Prince Erik said as he touched my stomach.
My body flinched slightly.
"What are you..."
"I think it would be nice if there was another person with your genes running around, but the thought of having my time with you being shortened because of someone else makes me have mixed feelings."
My face felt flushed.
...To be jealous of your own child, how petty can you be?
"You are going to be King one day...You should not be so selfish."
He pulled my waist towards him and squeezed me tightly.
"I have not nearly had enough taste of you yet...How could I not be?"
If I knew that you would die because of me, I should have let you go then...