There we were, a God and his vessel, sitting atop a lonely cliff beneath a full moon overlooking the rocky slopes. The sounds of the desert were humming in my ears—the empty sound of the wind running over the sand as it threatened to blow over the withered trees as it tangles the Mexican poppies. If I strained my ears, I could even hear the sounds of several little lizards as they scuttled over the rocks below.
This was the desert of my youth. I'd come out here with my dad and he'd set up the telescope. We'd watch the stars for hours. Sometimes we'd chat and he'd teach me about the different constellations. Other times we would just sit and quietly watch the sky.
The desert at night could get cold and it was always lonely. But that never bothered me. Nighttime in the desert held a romantic mystery that was impossible to describe, but one you'd be hard pressed to replicate. Yet, somehow Kokopelli replicated without a problem. It was so amazing that I almost ignored the fact that we were just sitting under a blazing and bright sun.
Almost.
"Okay. I appreciate the ambiance and everything. But can you tell me what's going on? Please?"
Just looking at the old man with his calm gaze overlooking the world below and I had a strong feeling that if I didn't propel the conversation forward, we'd be stuck here forever. If I waited for him to speak at his pace, I'd be an old woman by the time I got another word out of him. He was a fertility god. Shouldn't he be hot blooded or something? He was surprisingly mellow.
I had to take the initiative.
Perhaps he sensed my impatience because he turned to me rather abruptly.
"Sure thing. Pandora can wait though. Don't you have any other pressing questions for me?"
It was a loaded question. Of course, I had questions. Who wouldn't? But where do I start? Do I ask something cliché like what's the meaning of life? What is he angling for?
He laughed, "That's an oldie but goodie. But I was thinking something more along the lines of why you, and what my blessing entails."
That seemed like the most obvious question.
"Okay. So why did you choose me?"
His dark gaze was intense. It felt like I'd be swallowed whole just by looking into his eyes. Time—if it meant anything in this place—had stopped. I could feel an uncomfortable pressure building in my chest.
When I felt like my bones would be crushed under such an intense stare, the feeling suddenly subsided.
He smiled, "You're a very special girl. In some ways, you might be the most special girl I've ever met."
Hearing that I was special from a god was pretty damn cool. But what exactly did that mean?
"I'm sorry. I don't follow. What's so special about me?"
"Hmm. That's a fairly long explanation. Let's distill it to this—you were born with 2 divine sparks."
"Right. Calypso told me as much."
"Good. Did she tell you how often that happens?"
"Well, sort of. She said that if a person is born with multiple divine sparks the solution is that one of the sparks will overtake the other. Right?"
He nodded in a sagely fashion. "Correct. And incorrect."
"Awesome. More condescension."
He smiled. "Don't feel bad. That Goddess of Love isn't really one for the finer details."
"You're telling me."
I was immediately reminded of the look on her face when I grew my equipment. She looked so surprised that it would've been funny if I wasn't so confused and frightened in that moment.
"Yeah. She can be sort of an airhead at times. But she's a good person."
"You mean goddess." I don't know why, but hearing someone insult that charismatic yet eccentric goddess bothered me. I felt indebted to her. She was the first one to recognize me. She reached out to me and yanked me from the hell I was living in and gently placed me into this new brighter world. I'm not saying that Kokopelli didn't have a part to play. But I guess I felt more indebted to Calypso.
"Do you always contradict your elders, Little Cloud?" His voice was stern. I suddenly felt like I was getting dressed down by my grandfather.
I couldn't help but look down at my feet. "Sorry."
He paused. "No big deal." He waved his hand in a magnanimous manner, making me feel insignificant and small-minded at the same time.
"What you said was correct in that most of the time, if there are competing sparks, one will overtake the other. But you are different."
"Because my sparks didn't devour each other?"
"That is odd, but that's not the oddest part."
"What is?"
"Tell me what you know about souls."
"Is this like a seminary thing?"
"Heh! No. It's not a seminary thing."
"Well, I don't know a lot. I guess a soul is like a battery or something. All living things have a soul, right?"
He shook his head, his weathered face looked heartbroken. "Despite popular opinion, being alive and having a soul are not mutually exclusive."
"I don't understand."
"Define life."
"Having a heartbeat. Brain function. Metabolism."
"That's limited. What about the clouds? The wind? The sun? These things have energy but none of the things you described. Would you consider them alive?"
I didn't have an answer. This seemed like it was getting very New Age-y. It wasn't my area of expertise.
"Life is many things. A soul is but one small aspect of the multitude."
"Okay. So, now that that is settled. Will you tell me what makes me so different? What's the oddest part that you mentioned?"
"Your soul is unique. When we talk about divine sparks, they are many things but they are not sentient. They don't make conscious decisions about which spark survives. In addition, this all happens before the soul is even formed."
The more he spoke the more terrified I became. From what he was saying, I really was a freak of nature.
"You're special. You're not a freak. Never think of yourself that way, Little Cloud. However, it is true that you are different from every other being in Creation. I'm not entirely sure why that is. Based on the trillions of lives that have existed throughout time and space, you are the first one to have multiple divine sparks that were implanted into your soul. Honestly, to call you special doesn't quite give it enough credit. You're a complexity."
"Why me?"
His bony shoulders shrugged nonchalantly. "Who knows? I sure don't. The Goddess of Love doesn't. We have no idea. But what we do know is that you being so special is a blessing and a curse. If we didn't accept you and give you our blessings who knows what would've happened?"
It sounded like I was the bringer of the Apocalypse or something. Did Kokopelli consider me dangerous?
He didn't answer. But I know he knew what I was thinking. That made me even more worried.
Clap! Clap!
"Okay. Enough of this heavy atmosphere. Let me tell you why I actually brought you here, and what my blessing entails."
I was so lost in our previous discussion that I'd forgotten that I wasn't in the world as I knew it.
"Yes. Please."
"Well, as you know, my function exists as a Fertility God. That bracelet that I gave you was filled with my essence—my blessing. In that blessing, it granted you a very powerful ability. Can you guess what it is?"
I thought for a moment, but nothing came to mind. "Not really. Can I fly? No. You mentioned a rabbit. Am I like a super hopper or something?" My guesses were getting more ridiculous as time went on. I decided to shut up before I embarrassed myself further.
He smiled, mysteriously. "No, Little Cloud."
He continued to smile at me, allowing the silence to hang in the air until I was ready to plead for him to continue. When he finally spoke, I felt like my ears were filled with cotton.
"I'm sorry. Can you repeat that, please?"
He nodded. "Of course. You're able to spread your seed. Basically, you have the ability to get other women pregnant."
WHAT THE FUCK?!