I slowly open my eyes and my stomach growls with hunger. I didn't cook today. The room was dark. Is it night already? Did we sleep that long? I toss my body and carefully put reach for his face. I start caressing his face. His skin is so soft.
"Musa". I softly whisper his name.
"We are hungry, let's go out" He proposed.
I become startled. Was he awake the whole time? "Yeah. I am lazy to cook.....". His mouth curved into a smile at hearing my statement. "Of course. I thought as much. You would not have the energy to cook after our little conquest"
I blush. "Oh please". I get up from the bed. And start blindly searching for my clothes. "Where's the switch?" Musa ask. "Uhm.... By the door". The lights go on. Exposing both of us on our birthday suits. I blush and try to cover my whole body with my hands. He just stood looking at me with pride. I admire him. His body is well built. He is indeed gifted, I thought my thighs were giving me the wrong measurements. I gaped. He smirks with eyes burning with passion. I smile at him. "Nice stuff" I comment. He walks towards me. " The night is still young". He kisses me. Wait, we are going to do this the whole night. There's no way... I feel my body arching towards his body. He pulls me closer against his skin. I pull back my face. "I am hungry" I remind him.
He stops kissing me and gives a wicked smile. I take a sneaky look at his lower body, sizing him up. Am I going to take that in my temple when the time arrives, will I be able to? I take a hard swallow. Well... My temple can accommodate different sizes, so relax. "What's wrong?" he busts my bubble as he notices my tension. "You are gifted" I bluntly say. "I am enough, average" He pulls on his pants quickly. "Don't be scared. I will make sure you are mesmerized by it after the deed" he smirks.
I am not convinced. I am not a fan of men with big instruments. My man is not big. My man. The thought snaps inside me that I have a lover. Cavin, oh my world. I rush for my phone. I find three missed calls. Two from my mom and one from him. Darn it! I am screwed.
"Can I make a call?" "You will find me by the gate. Let me go to my room to get some cash". He kisses me on the forehead and leaves.
I dial Cavin's number first because I don't want to talk to him in front of Musa. It rings to voicemail. Whew! He didn't pick up. I am glad because I don't know what excuse I was going to tell him without raising any suspicions. I dial my mother's number. It rings to voicemail. Why is mom not picking up? Did she get herself a lover upon my absence? I ring it again.
"Hello sweetheart"
"Hi, mom. I missed your call"
"How are you?"
"I am good and you?"
"I am good. I was calling to check on you. Ever since you moved to Univen we only spoke once, so I am assuming you have already acquainted yourself with people there" I sense the concern in her words. I wonder what is it.
"Oh yeah. Already. People are friendly here. Yesterday I went out with a friend" I try to spill some considerable tea for my mom.
"Oh... Friend. I wonder if he's a hunk and won't make you forget about Cavin". My mom knows about my official boyfriend. I am having a feeling that the missed call had to do with him. I should not have introduced him last year, that was foolish of me.
"No one can take his place. I love Cavin" Do I still love him anymore though.
"He called me... Checking on me and we ended up talking about you." I am not ready for this talk and I am pissed that he has turned to my mom when it wasn't a life-threatening situation.
"Mom let's talk about this again. I am going to the shops to get something to eat. I didn't cook and I am hungry. And my friend is waiting for me. So... Bye?" I try to End this awkward and guilt-tripping moment for me as quickly as possible.
"Okay... Be cautious. Don't lose something good for a moment" she reprimands me.
"Okay. Bye!" Geez! Mom is being dramatic. I hang up the call before she could say her last words. I roll my eyes out of vexation. She's picking aside, and that side ain't me. I dress up my clothes. And walk out of the room and walk towards the gate.
I understand that she's concerned and has experience with the men here. I mean that's how she got me from the anonymous man who supposedly was Venda. I understand her concern, but I am a big girl now. I am going to learn to make my own decisions. And the first decision to deal with is Cavin. He can't run to my mother when we have problems. I will talk to him tomorrow. The more I think about it, it just pisses the hell out of me.
Someone grabs my hand. "Hey don't pass me. What's on your mind?" Musa asks with concern. He pulls me close and holds my hand; and leads the way to the shopping complex. "It's only a short distance. Less than 15 minutes. At least it is 06:30 we will make it", "Olay, I mean okay".
He tightens his grip with a little bit of pressure. "Aww!" I scream.
"What is the problem, what's bothering you?" he asks with a concerned look.
"My mom, Cavin called my mom"
"Who's Cavin?"
"My boyfriend". What did I just say? Oh, my world did I just give myself away like that. I sense a little bit of tension in his grip. He fixes it and pulls me close. He stops walking and hug me tight. "I am sorry". Why is he apologising? "It's okay. I will talk to them". He lets me go, start walking again. "that's great. You should talk to them. Family is important. But..." he holds himself back and keeps quiet.
"I am sorry" I apologize to him, realizing that I might be hurting him by mentioning Cavin.
"I won't talk about Cavin any more and never again" I assure him.
"you are leaving him?" he startles me. Why would I leave because of him? I don't even know him.
"We just met" I cautiously whisper the words out of my mouth.
"But in a heartbeat, I know that I want you to be mine, and..."
"isn't it too early?" I cut into his sentence.
"Love does not occur according to human's timeliness... Maybe I have been too much. I told you that I am not good at not being untouched" his words were filled with sadness.
We get into KFC. "Aren't we going to Shoprite anymore?" I ask. "Not anymore. I wanted rubbers" He says awkwardly. I blush. He's so thoughtful. I grab his hand. "Let's go get them" I initiate. "but I don't want to be your side nigga" "You are not..." I assure him with a smile. I drag him out and he lazily follows me. He has no choice.
*******
While walking to Shoprite after she dragged me out of KFC to get rubbers. I am confused honestly. Why are we getting the rubbers when she does not want me to have all of her. I mean I could pretend to forget our little exploration. I feel something tucking my pants. I put my hands in my pocket to readjust myself. I can't be aroused in the public, I will look like a pervert. Does she love me or like me though? The first time I saw you Deya something about you draw me to you. I knew you were my match the minute I saw you step out of that car. Talking to you didn't disappoint, it aroused me and made me fall for you more. And... Our encounter, it felt like I have finally unravelled the truth I couldn't get hold of all this time. I must not give up on you. I need to have you. I will make you leave Cavin and be mine alone. Even if I have to lose my morals a little bit. After tonight you are mine.
******
We walk to the kiosk counter. He picks up the Durex Featherlite brand. My heart sinks. That's expensive. I guess he does want us to explore ourselves without limits. He picks two packages and pays. We walk out of Shoprite and head back to KFC. Do I love this guy? Something about him draws me to him. I have been with Cavin, but I have never felt this way. It is not the sex, but his presence, his aura. He embraces me in a way. It is like two pieces coming together and completing the puzzle. Is it love or infatuation? Whatever that is, I am willing to explore it and enjoy it. I hold his arm with both of my arms and look at him with loving eyes. His lips curve into a smile.
******
While walking back to the residence holding hands and cosy with each other. Are we just friends or becoming more of lovers I think to myself? For some reason, I just want to dwell at this moment and savour it with all the risks that come with it.
"Oh wow! What a lovely couple" A voice comes from our back. I turn my head around to face the voice and only to meet....who is she again? Musa's ex-lover, Uhm... Lala. Musa didn't twitch neither did he turn his head, he just continues walking with me and holding my hand with gentleness and love. I try to ignore the comment and smile it off.
Lala passes us at a high speed and stands in our way. "So is this who you are trying to replace me with?" she looks Musa in the eye. "Lala leave her alone please" beg Funi while Lerato gives a supportive cheer for Lala's actions through a spiteful and wicked smile. Musa just looks at her with a chilled reaction, chilled as a cucumber. "Musa I am irreplaceable, and even if you think of doing so, she won't be me. Plus I don't think your family would love it when you stressing the mother of your baby".
WTF! I am shocked. What the hell is this? Musa's chilled mode switched up into a defence mood. He let go of my hand and walked a little bit closer to Lala. "Then prove it. If indeed you were carrying my baby prove it". He gives her a daring look.
" I was loyal to you...". He comes closer to her and whispers something to her ears so that no one hears a thing and she froze up. He pulls himself back. "Deya may we? And... Nhlalala stops being melodramatic and delusional". He walks away and I follow him like a puppet.
"I will prove it to you" Lala shouts as we walk away.
I am shocked. I am stunned. Musa has a child. I gapped. He notices my facial expression. "Let's go to my room and I will explain". I nod and follow him to his room. We get inside and drop the food on top of the table. I head for the bed and settle myself there. I am now ready for a detailed explanation.
He sits on the bed and faces the wall with a gloomy face.
"So we dated for like two years, and on our second anniversary I decided to take her home, unfortunately, there was an emergency meeting so she could not meet the family but instead met my cousin. Fast forward, after a month they hooked up and she turned out to be pregnant a month later... And she claims that she was pregnant with my baby. And we broke up because I couldn't keep with the lies and finding the truth broke us"
"Do you want her back?" I ask him with concern. I need to know his stance in case this baby is his, he might want to go back to her.
"No" he answers bluntly
"Still love her?"
"I am over here" he answers indirectly.
I feel myself fuming inside. "Do you still love her Musa?"
"As a human yes, but nothing more".
This boy is not giving me a clear answer. I turn my body and face him. He slightly turns to look at me and he sees my anger. He comes closer. I try to escape his grip but beats me to it. He pulls me close and hugs me.
"Deya you are the only one who I am eyeing for. My heart is yearning to be one with yours. All I ask is that don't let what my ex says sway you or confuse you with how I feel about you. I love you and she will do anything to destroy that because she knows that I am courting you to be mine, and she doesn't like that. So be rest assured, your space is secured and no one can take it if we are together. I won't lie, it won't be easy because all this is happening so fast and we are yet to learn of each other and our pasts might come back and haunt us; but when it does, I want you with me" He places a kiss on my forehead.
I melt into his embrace. What he just said makes sense. And who am I to judge when I am still dating Cavin and being unfaithful.
"I just want transparency between us," I say cautiously and he gives me a daring look.
"Are you willing to walk that route?" he asks.
"Yes" I am not sure, but I do want our foundation to be built on honesty. I should try to be more honest with him.
"I think I love you, is it too soon?" I bluntly say. I should have not said that now, it's too soon. I am so impulsive. "No..." he grabs my body and swings it on top of the bed. He gets on top of me, takes off his kneaded top sweater and his face reaches for mine. All the clothing and sheets start falling off the bed. The time just froze and all the anxiety flew away. I let myself drown into a pool of our passionate lovemaking.
A violent knock shudders the door while we are busy making out. Musa starts to stroke and thrust in hard, causing my moaning to escape the mouth and become loud. My body keeps on arching on his groin wanting all of him in me.
I hear voices outside the door and laughter. My mind gets distracted and my body tenses up.
"Work with me... You owe me that" he whispers into my ear and bites my earlobe, sending electrifying chills on my whole body. My toes curl up with a sensation of pleasure. I grab his lower body and pulls it against my skin and moan his name.
I don't want us to stop. This passion feels beautiful and good. I feel like I am reaching for the heavens. It is like intertwining our bodies, mind and soul. He is not just making love to my body but he is becoming one with me. I have to be his and he needs to be mine.
********
He gets up and switches on the light. It exposes his nude body. Seriously, this man has no shame on his body. He walks towards the bed and pulls me off the bed. I get off the bed and stand next to him. He smiles down on me and I shy smile. What is he thinking?
"Aren't we sexy together though?" He asks with a happy smile
"We are not" I try to reach for my clothes on the floor. He grabs my waist and pulls me to a standing position.
"No dressing up tonight. We will be spending the whole night on our birthday suits" He sways his body in a dancing movement and my eyes land on his lower body. I roll my eyes. I can't do that, I am not comfortable.
"Weirdo. I am feeling cold" I make an excuse
"Really....." He runs his hands on my nude body and stops them by the navel. "let me warm you up then" He grabs my waist and put me on the bed. Gently open my legs.
"No.....I...." I try to resist but his fingertips were already mapping the surroundings of my temple. My mouth and my throat get a dry, yearning for passion. My heartbeat starts increasing. I feel my legs betray me with a few shivers. He looks at me wickedly. And his head reaches for my temple.
A bang on the door. Musa jolts his head up in vexation. "WTF!" he curses. He picks up his underwear and head for the door at the speed of light with a dark face.
He opens the door. His face grows darker when he opens the door. Who's at the door? I wonder.
"Don't hate me. Your cousin is here" I hear Lala's voice.
"Hey cuz"
*cuz is a shortcut for cousin