LILY
I woke up groggy but not hungover. In fact I felt pretty good. Pretty good until…
HOLY. SHIT.
It came flooding back to me, all of it, in one giant, heart-stopping wave. I could recall every word, every statement. Every hot, fiery kiss…
Lily ah Lily … what the hell did you DO?
I ended the torment, that's what I did. Or at least, I thought so last night. Looking back at it afterward, beneath the unforgiving scrutiny of the light of day? Maybe I had acted a little hastily. Or recklessly, more like it.
I sank my face into my hands. I had given in to Brandon, sure. After the whirlwind night of fun we had together, that simply couldn't be helped. But then, in my desperate attempt to make things right, I had gone way too far. I kissed Hunter then kissed Colin…
You didn't just kiss them, the little voice in my head reminded me. You damn well made out with them!
"Shit."
I went to the bathroom and splashed water on my face. Crying over what happened wasn't going to make it go away. The best I could do was damage control, and maybe blame some of my behavior on raging hormones, the full moon, or the strange frivolity of Halloween night.
Yeah… that's not gonna cut it.
Probably not, I figured, but at least it was a start. The worst part was that they were friends. Friends who liked me. How could I possibly think what I had done was a good idea?
They were probably downstairs right now. Jealous and hurt. Angry at one another. Angry at me.
You're an asshole, Lily.
Yeah, that was the consensus. Unfortunately it was becoming a recurring theme.
I had the perfect of all situations — every girl's dream scenario — and rather than enjoy it responsibly I had thrown caution to the wind. Worst of all, I affected their friendship. Pitted them against one another. I remembered the seething anger in Hunter's eyes. The absolute disdain for his fraternity brother dripping like acid from his mouth. I caused that. I would have been the one who couldn't exhibit self-control.
I had to apologize, fully and completely. It was the least I could do. If I could take responsibility for what happened last night between Brandon and I, maybe they would see things differently.
Of course, they might also want me to go. They could ask me to leave, and I would be homeless again. I'd lose them as friends. I would lose them as more than friends…
Shit, I might lose everything.
I took the most miserable shower of my life, dressed, and then headed downstairs. Skulking into the kitchen I felt worse than ever. I almost hoped they wouldn't even be there…
The smell of food and coffee hit me before I rounded the corner. When I did, all three of them were standing in the kitchen, leaning against the counters.
Staring back at me…
"Hey," I squeaked uncertainly.
"Hey yourself," said Hunter.
I dared not look any of them in the face, but I felt terrible under their gaze. Were they mad? Upset? Disappointed?Angry? Jealous?
One of them pulled out a chair. The other slid a plate of breakfast — and thankfully, a mug of coffee — right in front of me.
"I—"
I choked on my own words. My mouth felt like it was full of sand.
"About last night," I said in low tones. "I—I wanted to say something. I just wanted to apologize for—"
"Not necessary," said Hunter. "Actually we wanted to talk to you."
I slumped in my seat, totally crestfallen. Here it come. Now I either have to say good bye to the roof or to their friendship.
"But not now," Brandon added. "Later on tonight. When we're all at home."
I bit my tongue. None of them sounded particular angry, but in my experience 'let's talk later' was never anything good.
"I'm making dinner for us," Colin said. "Six O'clock. Can you make it then?"
I nodded blankly. "O—Of course."
"Good."
I heard the sound of keys, and shuffling, and bookbags being lifted. As the three of them filed out of the foyer, I just couldn't help myself.
"I can move out," I blurted suddenly. "Give me a week, maybe ten days to get a place. In the meantime I'll leave you guys alone again, and I'll promise that—"
"That's not what we want," Hunter said simply.
His words echoed in the now empty kitchen. All three of them had turned around and were shaking their heads.
"N—No?"
"Not even close."
I let out a deep, shuddering breath. "Then what do you want?"
The thin line that was Hunter's mouth curled up at one end. I had to blink twice, to make sure.
What was he doing? Smirking? I really don't know what they are cooking in their heads.
"See you at dinner," he replied, then turned away.
I could only sit there, watching them go.