ALEX'S POV
- TRIGGER WARNING -
"You little worthless piece of shit!" He yelled as he abused me. Over and over again he would yell things and keep hurting me.
"S-Stop!" I yelled out. "H-Help me!" I tried calling for help, hoping someone would find me.
"Keep hurting her. She deserves it." A familiar voice said. It was Mom, talking to Aaron as he was hurting me.
"Why did you give birth to her anyways? You should've aborted her." He said angrily. I whimpered in pain. "SHUT UP!" He yelled and punched me hard.
"It was a stupid decision of mine." She said.
"Kill yourself, freak."
- TRIGGER WARNING -
"Alex? Wake up!" Someone said shaking me awake. I shot up in bed as I gasped for air. "Shh. It's okay. It was just a dream, baby girl." Mom held me in her embrace.
"L-Let go!" I screamed as I pushed myself out of her grip. I ran into the bathroom and smashed the razor. I was about to drag it across my arm but Mom grabbed it out of my hands and flushed it down the toilet.
"N-No!" I cried out. "I.. I needed it!" I let out a strangled sob as I collapsed in Mom's arms.
"Shh, shh. Breathe, baby girl." She held my head against her boobs (extremely comforting for some odd reason). She then started singing a song, to the tune of Hush Little Baby.
Hush little fighter
Don't you cry
Don't cut your arms
Don't say goodbye
Put down the razor
I know it's hard
But you will win this fight
She continued humming the tune as I fell asleep in her embrace.
Morning came way too quickly and I woke up next to Mom in bed.
"Good morning, baby girl." She cooed as she held me.
"Morning.." I spoke quietly.
"We have the last concert of the tour tonight." She said. "Are you excited?" She asked as she played with my hair.
"I don't know." I replied nonchalantly. "Can you perform with me? I don't want to perform by myself tonight." I said as I looked at her.
"Of course!" She smiled. "What do you want for breakfast?" She asked as she went to the tiny kitchen we have on the tour bus.
"Nothing." I replied.
"You have to eat something." She gave me a look. You know that look where you don't have a choice. "What about pancakes?"
"Can I have something small? Please?" I panicked.
"Sure.. we'll get you back into eating full meals slowly." She said. "Does some fruit sound good?" She asked as she pulled out various fruits from the fridge. I nodded and sat down at the mini table.
"No oranges. I hate oranges!"
"You think I don't know that? I'm your mother for crying out loud!" She joked.
"Are you though? Are you really? Where do I get my good looks from then?" I joked back.
"Gasp!" She pretended to be hurt. She placed a bowl of fruit in front of me. It included strawberries, slices of bananas, cantaloupe, and watermelon.
"I wuv chu!" I exclaimed, trying to act cute.
"I wuv chu too!" She replied and kissed my cheek.
"Eww! Lipstick!" I laughed as I ate my fruit.
"Are you done eating?" Mom asked as I ate the last piece of fruit.
"Yep!" I said popping the 'P'. "My tummy hurts though." I pouted.
"It'll take time to get used to eating again. Go get changed!" Mom commanded as she took away my empty dish.
I changed into a pair of cargo shorts and a t-shirt that said "Life is a Joke".
"Mom! I need makeup!" I exclaimed going to where she was.
"What for?" She asked looking up from her laptop.
"I need to cover up my cuts. Unless you have a jean or leather jacket I could use." I explained.
"How about we put makeup on your cuts AND you wear a jean jacket. So if you get hot you can easily take off the jacket without worrying about your cuts." She suggested.
"You're a genius!" I laughed. We put makeup on my cuts.
"You ready to go, girls?" Max asked, walking into the bus.
"Yes!" Mom exclaimed excitedly as she jumped out of the tour bus.
"Calm your tits, Mom!" I joked. She playfully slapped me. We walked into the building where the concert was. Mom was getting her hair and makeup done.
"You're going to sing with me? Right?" I asked as she was getting ready.
"I already said yes, baby girl. If you don't want to be out there alone, then you don't have to be." She smiled at me and hugged me. "What song do you want to sing?" She asked me when she finished getting ready.
"I really want to sing my song Breathe Me." I said quietly.
"Are you sure? I don't want you getting triggered." Mom said with worry lacing her voice.
"I'm sure. We can always stop halfway through or something if I do." I whispered.
"Are you guys ready?" The stage manager asked as he handed us our microphones. We nodded. I ran out on stage first. What I never expected was a bunch of "boos" coming from the crowd. Instantly, Mom ran out on stage.
"If we can not boo at my baby girl, that would be great. If you would like to keep booing, security can drag you out." She spoke seriously into the microphone. "Are you ready, baby?" She asked. I nodded and took a deep breath.
Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame
Be my friend, hold me
Wrap me up, enfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up and breathe me
Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found
Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe
Be my friend, hold me
Wrap me up, enfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up and breathe me
Be my friend, hold me
Wrap me up, enfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up and breathe me
We decided we would sing one more song of mine. Mom didn't want to overwork me, so I'm only singing two songs.
Well I guess it's been a while
Since I've seen the sunshine
Since I have smiled
And me, who's so well versed
Is feeling so damn empty
Is at a loss for words
Forgot what it's like
To just feel okay
I'm praying for the day
When there is no more rain
And I, I don't wanna do anything but cry
Oh, and I, I don't wanna do anything but cry
(I don't wanna do anything but cry)
Well I hardly feel alive
I'm going through the motions
But I don't feel like trying
The hole in my heart is growing bigger by the day
I wish that I could crawl inside
Hide away
And I, I don't wanna do anything but cry
Oh, and I, I don't wanna do anything but cry
Oh, I'm so low
I'm almost to the bottom
And oh, nowhere to go
Even my soul has left my body
Oh, and I, I don't wanna do anything but cry
Oh, and I, I don't wanna do anything but cry
And I, I don't wanna do anything but cry
And I, I don't wanna do anything but cry
"Give it up for my daughter, Alex!" Mom shouted into the mic. I smiled and gave her a hug before running off stage. I jumped into Max's arms, which he wasn't expecting.
"Maxipad! I'm tired!" I fake whined and pouted.
"You can sleep, Alex. We'll wake you up when it's time to leave or just let you sleep." He was about to put me down but I clung onto him like a koala. He sat down and continued to hold me in his arms because I wanted him to.
Can you be my nightingale
I heard Mom's soothing voice singing Nightingale which put me to sleep.