I woke up with a headache. My head was pumping, as if my brain is getting out. I sit on my bed and I remember events from last night. I feel an unexpected tear slipping down my face. I wipe it away and when I touch my cheek, it burns. I get up and look myself in the mirror. Holly crap: my cheek is purple, and my neck is a mix of red and purple too.
The same feeling from yesterday came back: shame. I look myself in the mirror and I could not believe the only person I had of a family did this to me. It is just me and dad. My half-brother is older and lives somewhere else. I hadn't much contact with him, he stayed home until he was 18. His mother died and he waited a few more years to leave home but when he did, he never came back. I was 8 years old when he left. His mother was an old girlfriend of dad that got pregnant before my mom came along but then she died and after that my mom left. I was too young to remember her, but I remember him. His name is Zachary, I remember him crying and he was so sad and when he turned 18, he left and never came back. And my mother.... Well, I don't have a single idea who she is. All I know is that she vanished and didn't look back either. All I have of a prototype of a mother is Lisa, the housekeeper, she is lovely and caring, but at this point I don't know who is being truthful or pretending, like father.
I manage to wash my body and when the hot water touches my cheek, my body reacts immediately. I jump back and I stop everything that I'm doing to focus on getting rid of this pain. I close my eyes, praying for it to go away and eventually it does. I get out and put some clothes on. When I'm about to get out of the room I look myself in the mirror again. There is no possible way normal make up will cover this up. I don't have the kind of foundation to cover this. I analyse my bruises one more time, but I noticed that I'm not the only one analysing them. Dad has come inside, and he was behind me.
"Oh baby, they will vanish with time", he says extending his hands on my direction. I flinch, expecting another slap, but he just caresses my cheeks. I look down in shame. Shame of looking like this. I know this wasn't my doing but I felt ashamed and humiliated. Never looking up, I cry without a single sound. His hands go to my wrist.
"Dad, I feel that I've learnt my lesson, so there is no need to send me to a boarding school", I say it, trying to let the idea of a boarding school out of his head. I dare to look up this time. He looked at me angry. His face was not friendly and his grip on my wrist was getting stronger with every word he said.
"You are going. You are obeying me, and you are marrying whoever buys you. No more complains, are we clear?"
While he was giving his speech, his gripe was strong, and it was hurting so bad. I asked him to stop but he didn't. He dragged me to my bed where he laid a few more slaps on me. I just embrace myself and when he was over, I curled up and then he left, thankfully.After what it seems hours, an old woman come inside and look at me. She doesn't look friendly or nice. "come with me" she says, staying straight up, looking at me as if I was her servant, but I do what she says.
She looks at me, and start measuring me: wait, hips, chest and even my hair length. At the end, I had to get a smaller waist and let my hair grow, work on my posture, lose weight, walk, talk, look and do everything as a lady. My skin was terrible too, it was not lady like.
"You are basically a failure", when she said that out loud, she had just smashed my last drop of self-steam. I am not perfect, but I liked myself but now, in the past two days I feel like trash. First dad transforming into a vicious monster, telling me shit and now this woman saying these things, I feel like nothing.
"Thus, I expect you to make her be a 'win'. I want her perfect, like a quiet little doll, obedient and pretty", my dad says in an ordering tone. "She will be the best, that I promise you, sir", she says.We leave my room and she drag me to a black car. She forces me inside and we start our journey to hell. I didn't get to say goodbye to anyone, not even Lisa, who I loved so much