Two months to the end....
I can say that I've become the Barbie they wanted me to become.
Waist check
Breast and bra size check
Weight check
Hips check
Hair check
There is not one more thing they can change on me, they have done it completely. Inside I remember how things used to be, but I was brain washed to believe that, that life was bad and this one will be better.
I got here when I was 17 and now, I'm 20 and will probably be marrying just some guy with money. I planned on living my best life, and not marrying at 20. I wanted to travel, meet new places and new people but I guess the universe, which is called my Father, made other plans for me. Talking about him doesn't affect me anymore. I haven't seen him since the day he put me into a car with the director. So now I have no family at all. Zachary probably is living his best life, he is happy and the most important, he is free. Dad.... I don't have anything to think about him. I remember his face and I miss my dad, the loving and careful one but I know now that he is not like that.
Today will be my final checkup. The final one that it will go to some guy to choose if I was good enough to be married to him. I am basically being judge and if he refuses me, I don't know what do to anymore. For the past three years that's all I know: how to please my owner and if this doesn't happen, what will I do? Work? No way, I have only my high school diploma and nothing else. I have been through so much and it won't be gone to waist: all the pain, hunger, depression, anxiety and every single feeling it is possible to feel I felt in these past three years locked in here.
The director approaches me and gives me a short nod telling me it is my time to go. She is holding my biggest enemy: the measure tape.
She starts measuring me and I freeze. This time everything must be perfect.
After that I step on my other enemy: the weighing scale.
After all that, I see the director writing the number down and she asks me to sit in front of her. I wait patiently for her and in the meanwhile, I look outside, from the window behind her. It is the end of summer and a few leaves are already on the green grass. The fall is coming and that means the winter is too. I used to love the snow, but I haven't been outside for three years and I don't remember how they feel.
"So, miss...", I come back from my daze and pay attention to what she has to say , "I hope you feel good", she hands me the results and everything is in the way she wanted, I was happy, that meant that I had no problems and no one would punish me anymore. "and now I'll send your file to be evaluated by your future owner and I'll have an answer by the end of the week, and then I'll call you", I just nod at her. I'm more afraid of her than anyone else. It might be for the reason of she being so calm all the time and always centred scares me, I never know when she is mad or not.
With that I just get up and go back to my room, where now I find myself alone. Hanna has been chosen and was out of here a month ago. I hope she is doing well.