Number 3: Creephead, what happened?
You: Nothing, I'm on the bus. Why?
Number 3: I know you're at the hospital. What happened?
You: Coach told you, isn't it?
Number 3: ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!
You: I'm prepping things for Hailey. She got a few seizures this morning.
Number 3: Do you need anything?
You: It's fine. I got a plan B.
Number 3: I'll wait for you at the foyer.
I heavily sighed as I really don't want Zac to be involved in this.
I placed the phone on the nightstand. My gaze returned to Hailey, who was smiling once she caught my eyes.
"Is that Mommy?" She asked with her adorable voice.
I smiled as I gently caressed her head.
"Yeah, that's Mommy." I lied, just to comfort her.
Hailey has dementia but she never forgets her mother. Since she was a little girl, she always asked me about Mom.
'Where is Mom?'
'When will she come home for dinner?'
'Let's see Mommy after this.'
Everytime I answered her questions, there's that deep dent in my chest and the violent strain in my lungs.
She was longing to meet her for the longest time and all I did was telling lies.
Dad once told me that Mom ran to Canada when she left us. That's why I asked Hailey to be transferred here, albeit cost bit of a fortune.
She giggled cheekily as she hugged the pillow but then she suddenly looked at me with a blank expression.
"Sir, who are you?" She asked, eyebrows furrowed.
I breathed in deeply. I muster the strength to smile towards her.
"I'm your brother, Hailey." I took her hands in mine.
"I have a brother?" Her eyes opened wide.
I simply nodded. I crouched down to be the same eye level with her.
"Look, I have to go to a special place for a few days. Think you can handle yourself without me?"
She nodded profoundly.
My lips kissed her forehead before I tucked a few strands of her hair around her ears. "Good girl."
She was smiling but a quick of disappointment flashed across her eyes. I made my way out and closed the door. A feminine figure approached me.
"Anything I should know before you go?"
"U-um, she likes to talk. But she has dementia, so you have to be very patient-"
"Yeah, I know. I did my reading last night. Don't worry." She patted my shoulder.
"Thanks," I whispered to her.
********
"So, how is she?" Zac initiated the conversation once we're in the car.
"She seems to be doing pretty fine. Looks like they get along very quickly. Never thought Ariel was the type to get along with kids."
"I meant your sister." He deadpanned.
"Oh, of course, you're mentioning about my sister. Why wouldn't you mention about my sister." I spouted.
I continued. "She's a little sad when she knew that I wouldn't be around for a while."
Since Zac was sitting in the backseat, my eyes instinctively darted to the two men sitting in front of us.
The driver seems to be a new guy since I've never seen him. There was this buff guy on the passenger seat, I think his name is Jim. I've met him once when Zac brought me to his house.
"How were things back then? When you're in California." His sudden voice pulled me back to reality.
I scratched the back of my neck. "Actually, I lied. I wasn't from California, I got to school there for a while but that's not where I came from."
"Where were you from, then?"
"I'm from Detroit."
He cocked both of his eyebrows, as an unsurprised hint. "Well, no wonder you lied."
"You lived there since childhood?"
"N-not really."
"That's confusing ..."
"I'm gonna be honest with you. I lost my memory when I was around eight in a car accident."
He snapped his head to me, I fear that he might break his neck. "You're joking, right?"
I simply shrugged. "After that accident, my mother suddenly disappeared and I was left in the streets."
"That doesn't make sense. Then where is Hailey?"
"She was in the hospital since she had the disease."
For a while, Zac fell silent. In that period, the air got ridiculously tense and gloomy like when you meet an old friend.
An old friend that you really don't want to meet again. An old friend that I knew him very well but I decided to left him there, far away from my home.
I tried to be happy without him. Live the life without him.
But sometimes, there are few people from my new life would ask me about my old school or my old house. My old self.
Every time they ask such a question, my mind went blank for a while. Not knowing what to reply neither nor what to lie.
I don't know what to say or how to make the air a little bit comfortable.
"This might sound rude ... Your dad died in the car crash, right?" I guessed Zac sense the tension in the air.
I let out a deep sigh. "But I already got over it. I only remember a few moments with him."
"What do you remember from your old place?"
"Not much. I remember my dad's face, my mom's, our house, and Hailey."
"Do you remember things about yourself?"
"What do you mean?"
"What's your favorite color, favorite place to eat, or maybe someone you liked?"
"No. Not really."
Zac fell silent for a while, looking down to his feet. "Here's the thing that I don't understand tho. If your mother left you alone, who's the 'mother' that you mentioned?"
"She's my foster-mother."
"You're very complicated."
"Tell me about it."
My eyes gazed over his and I've caught a glimpse of my soul.
Why did I say that?
Because I saw the reflection from his eyes. There's something that I bitterly regret doing. The unspeakable horrific deeds that keep haunting me and I was so afraid to confront them.
I saw guilt in his eyes.
Since I was being silent for a while, Zac took the cue to move the conversation forward.
"I once lost someone that I love so much."
"Who is it?"
"He is a friend. Someone that I never thought I will miss."
"Did he go somewhere?"
"Yeah, he did. Somewhere far away from here. He said that he wants to find peace so I let him go."
"Then what happened?"
"I lied. I never let go of him, not even until this very day."
There's something broken in his voice. It's like a longing howl echoed in silence, seen but ignored.
"Did he find his peace?"
"I don't think so." He threw his gaze through the window.
"Why?"
He muttered words that I don't understand but by seeing into his voice, I got the answer to my question.
********
"For this plan to work, I need his son!" He slammed his palms violently on the table.
"I'm doing my best."
"By doing what? Being nice and all soft over him ?!" He walked over to the figure across the room.
I remained quiet. My eyes statically staggered in his frail body, tied to a chair and blindfolded. Bruises and stains of blood scattered across his pale skin.
Diego looked at me in disgust. "You failed me. Looks like I have to take care of this myself."
He cocked the gun and pointed it right on Zac's head.
I lunged forward but suddenly his men got a hold of me.
"No! Please, no! He's just a boy." I pleaded.
Tears started to falling down across Zac's cheeks and not long after, my vision starting to blurred.
"You love him, didn't you?" He smirked ominously.
My breath was shallow and jagged.
"Zac, I am so sorry."
His lips quivered in fear and his eyes were bloodshot red.
"Rafiq, I love you."
That was his last words and then, all I heard was the loud gunshot.
I startled at the sudden reality that I encountered. My breath was quick and it wasn't long until I realized that I was sweating.
Thankfully, I didn't jump or scream or anything.
It was just a dream, thank god!
I took a deep breath before opening my eyes to felt a slight pressure on my shoulder. I turned my head around and my eyes widened once I saw Zac's face were just inches from mine.
For a split second, the noisy voice inside my head that I live in seems to be so quiet and peaceful, staying still in motion. The way his hair falls down and his chest raised and falls in a subtle motion.
He seems to be in a very serene state, calm.
I tried to pry myself from him but stopped midway, thinking that he might wake up. So, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer so that he feels comfortable.
He rested his head just below my collarbone and he seems comfortable since he didn't wake up.
His breath brushed my skin and the heat from his cheeks pressed on my chest. The tingling feeling and the slight strain in my lungs kept me from saying a single word out of my mouth.
Somehow, I could imagine being on a date. In a fancy restaurant, wearing a black suit, with the one that I love. Dining together in a comfortable bubble along with the serene music in the background.
In the back of my mind, I heard someone screaming my name. Loud but weak, echoed through the air.
My eyes gazed onto his snow-white skin.
I tucked the loose strands of his hair off his face so that I could see his features more clearly.
My fingers stayed on his cheeks.
I'm sorry it's not me. But for now, let's just watch the time decide.
********
I know a story about a boy. An unfortunate poor boy who lost everything that he was meant to have.
Family, friends, even his own self.
He lies awake in a city that never sleeps, waiting as destiny and faith turned their backs on him. In a city of broken dreams, trying to forget the tragedy that trampled upon him.
The bad memories haunted him. He thought that if the bad memories seize to follow him, he'd found happiness and peace.
He cried and cried for days, praying to God that He would help him.
Maybe... if he's patient enough, God would reward him. A way out of his misery, his bad memories, his sufferings.
But through the passage of time, nothing changed and he presumed that God never gave him any help. Not even a single glance.
So, he took matters on his own hand. He was so desperate for help until the point that he took the wrong hand, assuming that she was trying to help him.
The one who offered helping hand was a witch.
He blindly asked for help from that wicked witch and she offers him with a solution.
But the witch was cunning. She demand for something in return, with what seems fit with the favor.
They settled down with a promise, made underneath the darkest night in the deepest forest, witnessed by the creepiest creature of the scariest stories.
The witch asked that if she can take away the nightmares off of him, he will pledge his life to the witch.
Blinded by his utter fear, he agreed.
One day, he woke up in his bed. Not remembering anything about his past except the time when he met the witch.
Day by day passed, he continues onwards with his life like everyone else in the town. But frankly, the boy realized that he never found peace he dreamed of having.
He still felt nothing was in place, sorrow in his chest, and worthless of himself.
He was wondering; what did he do wrong this time?
So he came barging angrily to the witch, demanding for their promise. But to his surprise, the witch cackled madly.
Without uttering a single word, she took the boy's soul and locked him inside a glass bottle. He was trapped, frozen in time.
She said:
"The ones who wish to not remembering their worst past are the weakest soul roaming the Earth. If you don't overcome yourself, you'll be the kid whose soul never grows."
The car halted into a stop, causing me to threw my gaze outside and found out that we're at a parking lot.
"We're here." The driver announced.
Zac grumbled and shifted but didn't open his eyes. He tightened his grip on my arms and my heart flutter at the sudden move.
His bodyguards got out of the car and started to take out the luggage.
"Hey, wake up. We're here." I spoke gently as I caressed his cheeks.
His eyelashes batted a few times before he opened his eyes, revealing the silver-grey color that I favor a lot.
He straightened his back.
"How long have I asleep?" His voice was raspy and rough.
"A few hours."
He rubbed his temples. "Oh god! I feel terrible."
"Come on. Dean said that we got the same room." Dean texted me earlier since we're the only late ones.
"R-really?!" His eyes were closed.
Dumbfounded by his reaction, I asked. "Why? You want to switch rooms?"
"N-no! That's not it."
"Then what is it? You look red." I cupped his face in my palm.
He lay his fingers on my wrists. "I-I'm fine. I need to go to the bathroom."
"Our room number is 13. Keys in the lobby. You can go ahead, I'll take your bags."
"Thank you." He muttered before getting off the car.
I took the bags from the trunk and about to make my way to our room but my eyes caught something.
Both of his guards gave me dirty looks, like I've done something wrong in the middle of the parking lot.
"We'll be watching you, kid," Jim warned.
I only nodded stiffly and hastily made my way out of the awkward situation. Even though when I already in the building, I could still feel the intense glare on my back.
Jesh, if only eyes could kill.
Along my way, my gaze went from corner to corner. The hotel was not so cheap but not also the most luxurious one I've ever seen. It has a nice interior and welcoming environment.
Slowly but surely, I dragged all of Zac's belongings to our room.
13
I noticed that the door was slightly ajar so I just pushed the door with my legs since my hands were full with mine and Zac's stuff.
When the door revealed the room, Zac was nowhere to be found. Instantly, I dropped the bags and threw my eyes from corner to corner.
Suddenly, I heard a shuffling sound behind the bathroom door.
I found Zac was sitting down on the bathroom floor, head leaned on the bathroom wall.
"Hey, are you alright?!" I caressed his back, up and down motion.
"I'm a bit dizzy."
"Do you guys have any practice tonight?" I filled the glass with water and Zac quickly gulped them in one go.
"No."
"I'll find some aspirin for you."
He grabbed my sleeve. "No!"
He seems hesitant. "J-just stay with me for a while."
"Yeah, okay." I sat down beside him but instantaneously felt the coldness of the floor surged through my body.
"The floor is cold. Come on, I'll take you to the bed." I coaxed and surprisingly, he nodded.
He remained on the bed while I took care of our stuff.
"I'm sorry." He suddenly spoke.
I mustered a smile and sat next to him. "For what?"
"You shouldn't be taking care of me when you had a game tomorrow."
"Well, that's what a friend should do." I patted his shoulder.
"Coach said there's dinner at the grand hall. You should go and eat." He mentioned with a sympathetic smile.
"And leave you alone here? No way."
His gaze stopped at the doorframe. I found out that both of his guards were guarding the door.
"Go. I have two purposeless dudes over there, they can bring me dinner. I'll be fine."
I pursed my lips. "You sure? I can wait for a few-"
"I'll be fine. Go! You have practice after dinner." He insisted.
"How did you know?"
"I know everything." He stated calmly.
"Are you sure you'll be alright?"
"What are you? My boyfriend?" He smirked.
A soft chuckle escaped from me. "I'm just worried, okay?"
"Go. I'll be fine."
"See you tonight."
********
The moment I was in front of the door, my feet froze in place. I don't know what to do neither why it happened.
Hours ago, I was sure that I could talk casually to him but now I didn't even dare to knock the door.
Why am I feeling nervous?
My gaze fell onto the floor and I realized that Zac has turned the lights off.
With a deep and heavy breath, I twisted the doorknob, didn't even bother to knock first. I swung the door and expecting Zac to be lying on the bed but no.
The bed was perfectly made. Confused, I checked the room number just to make sure.
"Zac?" I called out for his name, thinking that maybe he's in the bathroom.
"I'm here." I heard a soft voice replying to my call.
He was standing by the window, staring at the night sky above.
"Why aren't you in bed yet? It's late."
"I-I was waiting for you." He stuttered.
"Sleep. Your game is early in the morning. Suuuper inconvenient." I joked as I sat down on the bed.
He chuckled lightly but he had this guilt expression plastered all over his face. "Sorry. I just-"
I pulled him to the bed. "You don't need to explain. Come on."
Abruptly, he turned around and hold my arms. "Ry, I need to tell you something."
I quickly shushed him. "Whatever it is, we can talk about it in the morning."
"No, Ry. You don't understand." He insisted.
I ignored him and continued to pull him closer, forcing him to go to lie down.
"I have insomnia!" He exclaimed.
My body froze in that instant, not expecting him to have a sleep disorder.
My eyes found his, staggering in motion.
"Since when?"
"A few years ago." He whispered weakly.
"Did you have any meds or anything?"
"I already take them."
I pushed him and tucked the blanket up to his shoulder.
"What are you doing?"
I get into the blanket next to him and hugged him.
His body fit right next to mine like we're meant to before each other.
Suddenly, I noticed that everything was so silent around us as if we're in our own little bubble.
"Sleep with me. I always do this to my sister when she has trouble sleeping."
"I doubt that this would work."
"How do you know?"
"I just know."
I could feel his heartbeat racing underneath my hand and the faint scent of minty pine lingering around his clothes.
"Awww did your heart racing now?"
"N-No!"
"You like it, didn't you?"
"No, I don't! I feel a little claustrophobic and it's getting a little hot here." He raised yet he remained still in my arms.
"Then why aren't you trying to get out?"
He paused for a while, staying silent. "I hate you."
I chuckled lightly. "I know."
Now I got him in my arms, I know I was not the same kid whose soul was trapped.
The glass shattered, one crack at a time upon his touch. Every little gaze he gave me, it made my heart fluttered.
Every day and every night.
Little by little, I was freed.
I met him at the end of my difficult time.
Now, he was the ending of my beginning.