Rafiq's POV
I once lost myself in a dark place, an unimaginable horrifying spot in my memories.
And then he came, found me. With magic, he holds my hand. Holding me from the darkness inside.
Even though my memories were torn apart from my hands yet they're still in their frames, in the deepest void of mine.
A hint of scent, scratches of touch, and whispers of sounds.
For all this time, I'm still searching for that single soul that saved me. That gleaming silver eyes, looking at me with kindness and the warm hands that willing to bargain his life for me.
A warm hand that willing to give, eyes that were not afraid to lose, and a bright soul that kindness he chose.
He gave his life to save mine.
Putting his future for my past.
The sad thing is, I don't have a picture of him. Never spoke to him, never hear his voice.
For him, I was nothing but a stranger.
But for me, he was my star.
Yet, I don't even know his name.
The sounds of the pebbles clattering on the ground awoke me from my mind. We got out of the car but I noticed that his eyes were frantically gazing over his shoulders.
His small figure was in my arms as I walked with him towards the entrance of the hotel.
My eyes trailed to my side.
He hasn't spoken a single word yet...
Is it something I said? Maybe I push him too far...
The tangled thoughts brought my breath to be shallow and shaky.
'Are you that surprised?'
Fuck! I know I shouldn't smirk like an idiot when I said that.
The short walk back to the hotel would've been completely silent if it wasn't for the softly whispering wind in the background.
Zac looked lost in his own world yet his eyes kept staring at the feet, not saying a word.
His last words lingered around my head, laced with streams of questions.
"Everything..."
What happened? I thought everything was going so well.
... Well, I kind of confess that I like him but he took it pretty well. So that can't be it, right?
Is it because of something I said at the bridge? No, he looks okay at the time.
When did it start? When did he become stiff and quiet?
Think, think. Try to remember, brain. I know you can't do a lot but please help me this time.
I just leaned to him... and he seems a bit shocked.
And then, he just... zoned out.
Is that it tho? Just because I tried to kiss him?!
Well, he tried to kiss me first in his house! Why can't I do the same to him?!
I let out a deep sigh as we finally entered the hotel. The lobby was lit by a fair amount of lights and there were no workers in sight so we just made our way to the room quietly.
********
From afar, I could already see the tall man standing in front of our room. There he was guarding an empty room at 3 AM in the morning and here I am, feeling sleepy after sleeping for 12 hours.
"Thanks, Brandon." I sent an appreciative smile to the tall blonde guy. Tonight wouldn't possible without his help.
Well... kind of.
Zac bribed him with a few extra cash. Jim was knocked out cold when he took a sip of the powerful brandy that I bought from a nearby liquor store.
Don't ask me how I got my hands on them.
Don't!
....
A'ight, I'm gonna tell you.
~Fake ID~
Gently, I pushed the door open and let Zac went in first. He just walked past me with a blank expression, no emotion whatsoever.
He just looked... empty.
He sat down on the bed and stared at the empty walls in front of him. My legs instinctively walked closer to him and took off his coat.
Intentively, I crouched down this eye level.
"Zac, are you alright?" My voice laced with worries as his eyes were still a little bit teary.
He never looked into my eyes as he vaguely shook his head. My lips formed into a thin line, contemplating further action that could make him feel better.
It looked like he was deep in thoughts.
I put down his coat in the closet and left him alone on the bed, carefully watching him at the corner of my eyes while I was texting on my phone.
I thought if I left him alone for some time, he would just go to sleep or at least do something, but no. He didn't even move an inch for almost 30 minutes.
He just stared at the walls and did nothing else.
So, I attempted to comfort him for the second time.
I grabbed both of his shoulders and looked him dead in the eye.
"Zac, you're making me worried." I mustered all of my might to speak as softly and gently as I can.
He blinked once...
Twice...
"Did you noticed?" His previous empty and cold expression suddenly changed.
Dumbfounded, my eyebrows furrowed. "Notice what?"
His eyes trailed back to the closed door as he clenched his jaw.
"Nothing." He waved it off and lied on the bed, ignoring me.
What did I miss this time?!
His voice sounded wary and somewhat disturbed. I got to bed and slowly crawling to his side.
Seeing him, fallen into such a state brings my concern that something was definitely wrong with Zac. Not just because of me, it was something that has to do with his mental health. Something much more sinister.
Abruptly, I hugged him from behind with all the courage that I could gather.
I could feel his body tensed up and stiffened as soon as I got him in my arms. I was kinda afraid that he would be mad but I pulled him closer.
"What's gotten into you?" He spoke with a raspy voice.
"Just... Just stay like this for a while, please." I whispered softly.
He didn't say anything.
We lied down on the bed, not uttering a single word to each other and just enjoying each other's warmth until his breath became steady and I could hear his heartbeat became slower.
Some time had passed, I glanced over to found out that he was already fallen asleep.
His head was resting on my arms and I hold his hand in mine.
Do I really like him? Or is it all just an act?
I couldn't even believe that I confessed to him in public. I chuckled to myself as remember all the cheeky grin that I gave him earlier.
He grumbled and suddenly turned around in his sleep before he hugged me. He snuggled his cheek deeper onto my chest and my inside made a furious flip. Heartbeat quickened and my heart fluttered at the small action.
Frankly, I didn't found the skinship weird or awkward.
It was nice.
This is nice.
********
To my eyes, Zac was lonely. He had this void in his face yet no one seems to notice. I get the feeling he tried to fill the void but the memories chained him to his past.
Can I help him?
How can I help him when I'm trapped here?
I opened my eyes, expecting the familiar angelic face to be next to me but the apparent emptiness bring uninvited shivers down the spine.
I instantly jolted up and my eyes searched for the silver eyes, fearing the thoughts of him leaving me alone.
My legs swung to the side of the bed, frantically looking for any sign of Zac.
"Where are you going?" A voice stopped me in my motion.
The one that I was looking for was actually leaning on the balcony door, casually sipping some coffee with his elegant looking outfit.
Without uttering a single word, I embraced him in a hug. I was panting without even have to make a single run. Crazy how emotions can change the physiological human being.
He froze when I placed my head on his and I could feel his faint breath tickling my chest.
"Ry, what is wrong with you? You've had this weird fetish on hugging since last night." He put down the coffee cup.
I cupped his face and cherish the look of his face, staring longingly into his eyes.
"Why did you cried last night?"
His eyebrow furrowed, confused, and unsure of himself. He let out a soft sigh before gently taking my hands off his face.
"Breakfast in ten minutes, okay? I'll see you in a bit." He tried to smile at me but the only thing that I saw was the sad and afraid Zac that I once saw.
When the door was closed and the lock noises echoed through the room, I was left alone. With no answer to my questions, no hands to hold, and no star to follow.
The vibration from the bedside table caught me off guard. I browsed through my phone and someone had texted me a message.
The dissent and disdain that I felt in my chest strained the breath of my lungs as I read the text.
'You better listen to me! Or you'll lose her.'
I threw the phone to the bed, ignoring that they had the most precious thing in my life in their hands.
I looked up to the violet sunrise sky from the balcony.
The more I looked into the world, the more I felt lonely. I know how the world works, yet I never get a step ahead of it.
If only there's something I could do to fix all of this...
I was only a puppet, controlled by the one above me. Powerless of my will and useless of my title.
I'm so confused between what people say I am and who I know who I am.
Unsure of what's coming, undecided of what's next.
My gaze raised to the rays of sunrise.
"What should I do?"
********
"Are you sure you'll be alright?" He asked.
I glanced at the two buff guys at his side, amused by the size difference.
My eyes fixed back to him and my hands caressed his shoulder in reassuring manners. "Zac, don't worry about me. Think about yourself first, okay?"
"I was really looking forward to sleep next to you in the car, you're a great pillow." He embraced me in a warm hug and the scent of minty pine lingered around my sense.
"I know. You'll get another chance soon." I put my hands on his back, hugging him tightly.
"See you at school then."
I only nodded with a smile as he walked to the car.
The softly rustling wind in the background reminded me of something.
"Oh, Zac?" I called out his name.
"Yes?" His hand was on the door handle.
Silver eyes gleaming at my directions, the glint from the morning sunrise deepens the depth of his beauty.
Do I need to tell him? Would he care? Fuck! Spit it out already, he's staring at you.
My fingers twiddled with the end of my sleeves. "I-I saw my mom l-last night. A-at the game."
His eyebrows furrowed with a shocked expression plastered all over his face.
He stared at nowhere in particular and stayed in silence for a while before his eyes finally found mine.
"Are you sure it's her?"
I nodded, albeit my eyes were filled with doubt and fear.
"I'll see what I can do, alright?" He ended his words with a broad smile.
"See you." I waved him goodbye until his car disappeared out of my sight.
He smiled... yet there's something weird about his smile this time.
It was like a false face, hiding something behind his eyes.
I waste no time before getting on the bus with all of the other students. I decided to sit with the dorkiest person and the MVP of the school, Dean Raven.
"So, aren't you supposed to go home with Zac?" He opened a pack of gummy bears before offering them to me.
Not the best breakfast snack, but...
"Nah, his dad bought him a plane ticket when he knows Zac had an injury." The flavors of the sweet sweet candy exploded in my mouth.
"Yeah, Mr. Starr is one protective father, trust me."
"You know him?"
He was trying not to laugh like I was making a joke. "Dude, how can you not? His company funded our school for ages."
"R-really?"
Now, he was genuinely surprised. "You really don't know? Look around the school, you'll find SkyWay's logos everywhere."
"Is that why all the teachers always on his side?" I whispered to him, fearing Josh in the backseat might hear our conversation.
"Yeah. Sides, Zac is one of the best and diligent students in school. The teachers had no doubt about that guy. Not to mention, his sister glorifies our school's name."
Ah, the older sister. I knew her.
"Is there any other thing that the company funds?"
"Oh, a lot! You know nothing about marketing, do you?"
"Do you?" I grinned slyly.
"The SkyWay company funded a lot of projects to get public engagement and media attention so that the cumulative figures of their sales would be a center of attention in the global business."
"How did you know all of this?"
"My dad is a businessman."
"I'm a hacker yet I don't understand half the word you're saying."
"For real?!"
"Yeah, all I heard was gibberish."
"No, I meant the 'hacker' thing." He made himself clear.
"Oh, I'm just messing with you." He threw me a straight-face and I immediately chortled deviously.
"I wonder how you're still alive if you treat Zac like this." He mocked me yet I just smirked proudly.
"What are the other company that SkyWay funds?"
"A lot of them are public institutions like schools, hospitals, law enforcement." He casually popped some candies into his mouth. We already had breakfast but somehow he looked like he didn't eat for an entire week.
"How can a food company got anything to do with law enforcement?"
"You're wrong again. Skyway had multiple trading names like Lumira, the telecommunication sector, or StarLab, the pharmaceutical industry."
My eyes widened, not knowing this side of Zac's family. "T-that means... Z-zac is really really rich."
He looked at me in disbelief. "Have you seen his house? He had a waterfall inside his living room, for god sake."
"Wait, you've been into his house?"
"Everyone has. Well... except you, since you're the new kid. He didn't let anyone into his house anymore."
Well, little did he know...
I shifted on my seat, leaning closer to Dean. "Did you know anything about Zac?"
"Zac? He's scary, mean, dangerous, and cold. Oh, did I mention that he's scary?!"
"No, like... His stories, before I got here."
"Oh, I don't really know the detail since we're not really close until recently. All I know are just rumors."
"That works for me."
"Why do you wanna know?"
"I think he has some problems with his past."
He shifted in his seat. "Look, I really want to tell you but... you're friends with him. He doesn't have any friends for the last two years and I really don't want that for him."
"I just wanna know. This will make things easier for me." I basically pleading for him to open up.
"You really wanna know?"
I nodded.
He closed his eyes and sighed, clearly frustrated with the whole situation.
"A student died because of him..."
********
You: Hi, how r u?
ScaryBaby: Other than I'm flying 35K feet in the air, in a pressurized titanium tank. I'm doing fine, thank you. How are you?
You: We're doing just fine here on Earth, Captain. Just miss you a lil bit.
ScaryBaby: Go hug a pillow then.
You: Dont have one.
ScaryBaby: Where are you rn?
You: Well, we're far away from arrive, if that is what you asked. Why? Miss me already?
ScaryBaby: I have something to say. Ill tell you on Monday then.
You: Okay. Fly safe.
ScaryBaby: Will do.
My fingers floating over the screen, considering whether or not to ask him about what Dean had told me.
Should I? Or should I not?
I want to know more about him, to solve the fear that he had in his eyes yet I was also afraid that he would run away from me because I was too curious.
Fearing for the latter, I opted not to ask anything about it and decided maybe it's best if I talk to him face to face.
A lot of things don't make sense tho.
Who is the kid that died? Why and how did he die?
Is it true that Zac was the one who did it? Is this something linked to the reason why he behaved like that last night? Because of guilt?
Or maybe he saw something I didn't...
Maybe he knew my intention all along...
'I remember everything. I never forget things.'
Maybe he already figured it out and was just playing dumb.
Maybe he knows I was looking for someone, someone who wants to remain hidden.
'Find him. He's the only non-business associate with Christian Starr, performing on various SkyWay's events without getting paid.'
A picture of a singer on stage, a total spotlight of the night, a secret star. Toronto infamous masked singer who had a warming voice but the heart of frozen ice, never once showing his true face.
'He could be the key to ruined the company's reputation.' Diego added.
'Does he have a name?'
The blinding lights at the event, his dark eyes staring at me. He was looking at me in amuse while I was glaring at him in wonder.
'They call him the Winter Phoenix.'
Who is the famous Winter Phoenix?
********
The familiar creak of the door, followed by the uncanny disgusting stench of alcohol, reminding of the place that I call 'home'.
Greeted by the loud silence of the eery house, I closed the door behind and made my way upstairs.
But before I could even step on the second step of the stairs, a shuffling noise behind me caught me off guard causing me to abruptly freeze.
The house was really dark and I couldn't see shit.
I eyed around the hallway, cautious of someone entering the house but despite the effort, the darkness was so intense and the fact that there were no sources of lights around the house was not helping at all.
"Vickie?" I called.
"Vickie, is that you?"
But no answer, there were only echoes of my voice.
My feet instinctively took a step back, feeling like there was a pair of eyes staring at me.
Moments passed, I could hear faint breathing. Deep and guttural breathing like a man, at the corner of the room.
I took my phone out.
But before I could do anything, the creaking of the floor caused me to look up just to found out that there was a man darting towards me.
I felt the floor hit my back as I grip his hands, seizing him from hurting me. An intense pain erupted at the back of my head.
He took his weight on me, preventing me from standing up.
Grunts and pants occupied the room, as he struggled to slip off my grip and I was trying to escape from his weight.
Swiftly, he wriggled his wrist and I lose grip on him. Without hesitating, he punched me in the face and the iron taste filled my senses.
He punched me several times and before I knew it, he got both of his hands gripped tightly onto my neck.
I dug my nails into his skin but he didn't budge as he strained the air out of me.
"Where is she?!" He asked and the reek of alcohol perforated the air.
Confused, I remained silent yet never stop fighting against him.
He tightened his grip and I could feel I was losing myself.
"WHERE IS SHE?!" He screamed. His eyes were completely red.
Little by little, his screaming sounded so distant. I saw him yelling at me but to me, his image was blurred. Along with the sounds surrounding me, muffled and echoed through the air even though he was just a few inches from me.
I could hear my own heartbeat, slowly giving up and my tears falling down from the corners of my eyes.
The dark creepy feeling came back for me.
My hands were so weak, they fell to my side on the floor.
This is it then...
My heartbeat slowly faded.
Flashes of time came streaking across my eyes.
Dark cold waters...
White empty sheets...
The malls...
Library...
Eyes...
'I have something to say'.
With the little bit of light that I saw, I gather my will to fight back.
My hands balled into tight fists and with all my might, I harshly hit his head using my phone causing it to shatter.
He let go of his grip and I was pleading for oxygen, coughing and panting for air.
The man suddenly bolted to the door and ran away without any reason, leaving me alone on the floor.
Dragging myself to the walls, I took a glance at my phone.
The screen was completely wrecked and I couldn't even turn it on.
"Fuck!"
********
Last night's event played back and forth in my mind, reminding me that I wasn't one of the people surrounding me.
Laughter and chatters filled the hallway as the period nearing to a start.
I realized that I don't have a normal life like everybody else. I was forced to hide that part of me from everyone else, a little part of me that still remained hidden.
My hands gripped the straps of my backpack, flinching when my fingers touch the bruises underneath the clothing.
Suddenly, I heard a loud clatter behind me getting closer. I turned around to found her lushes high-pony tail flailing as she was running towards me.
"I'm so proud of you! Congrats." She hugged me but I had to bend down a little or else, she would've just headbutt my chest.
"Thanks, little girl."
Her eyes stayed near my collarbone. "Nice turtleneck! Oh, and by the way, Zac was looking for you last night. He said you didn't answer your phone."
Instantly, I felt like my heart exploded and my throat dried out.
"Shit! Can I use your phone?" I asked urgently.
She handed me her phone, which was the latest phone model and I was so afraid that I might drop this.
"You can give it back to me during lunch." She patted my shoulder before made a beeline towards her class.
Without wasting any more time, I called him and every ring felt like an eternity before I heard a grunt on the other side of the call.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to ignore your calls or anything, I broke my phone." I apologized.
There was no response from him. He remained quiet for a while. And at last, he cleared his throat.
"No, I'm the one that supposes to say sorry. I can't really talk to you since I can't go to school today."
"Why? Did your shoulders got worse?"
He made non-verbal noises. "No... my dad force me to stay at home for the whole week."
"Well, lucky you."
"I don't consider myself lucky for this. Anyway, my driver will come and pick you up after school, is that alright or you have your shift?"
"Uh, I have a shift tonight after practice."
"Then, I'll ask Will to drop you off at your cafe. When will your practice end?"
I paused for a second, fearing that I might be a burden to him. But not long after, he called for my name and forcing me to accept his offer.
"Around five."
"Okay, I'll tell him."
"Thanks."
I thought that would be it but I waited for him to hung up but he didn't. As if he's also waiting for me to end the call.
"Ry?"
"Yes?"
"Don't fall asleep in class!"
And then, he hung up.
Classic Zac.
********
"Thanks for the help, little girl." I handed her the phone.
A lot of people have been staring at me today. Maybe it's the turtle neck since most of the girls smiling and greet me as I was walking by the cafeteria...
... Or maybe I just had something stuck on my face.
"Happy to help." She beamed, her long hair flailing side to side.
"Can I sit here or is it reserved for only females?"
"Sure, sit down." She cleared her stuff and scooched some room for me.
I noticed that she was doing some assignments on her laptop since it contains a lot of words and pictures that I don't even bother to look at as I took a seat next to her.
There's an untouched paper bag on the table and I guessed that she hasn't had lunch yet.
"Did you already eat?"
"Not yet." She didn't avert her eyes from the screen while her fingers were typing like crazy fast.
"What are you're working on?" I tried my best to catch her attention.
"Just some research that Zac asked me to do."
"Zac?"
"Yeah, he called me last night asking for a small simple favor." My eyes once again glanced at her laptop but I couldn't really figure out what she was working on, they're just words and I guessed that it was an article or maybe some old journal.
"What was it about?"
"None of your business." She quickly closed her laptop once she realized that I was sneaking.
She didn't talk further about it and began to eat her lunch. A little intimidated by the tense air, I followed her and begin eating my lunch in silence.
"What did you do last night?" Ariel asked with a full mouth of honey-butter cookies.
I was struck by shock and re-adjust my outfit, fearing that the bruises manage to sneak a peek of the outside world.
There's a little crust got stuck on the corner of her lips and she just stared at me, waiting for me to reply.
I chuckled briefly. "N-nothing much."
Satisfied with my answer, she nodded.
"Ari, you got uh... A little..." I gestured to her lips and her eyes widened. She quickly wiped her lips using a tissue.
She laughed sheepishly once she found out that I was looking at her the whole time.
"Sorry about that." She apologized.
"How long have you been friends with Zac?"
She munched her dessert while thinking. "Longer than I remember. It was around... eight, nine years ago?"
"Well then, you must've known Zac pretty well."
"Give or take."
"Can I ask you something?"
She only raised her eyebrows and I took it as a sign to proceed.
"Did you know anything that happened to Zac? Around two years ago?"
Her bright eyes suddenly dimmed and her sweet smile fell into a frown. She cleared her throat and took a sip of her soda.
"Ry, what is this about? Did you guys fight?"
"No, not really." She looked at me and I scratched my thumb in anxiousness.
"I hate to tell you this but if you knew, you'll shit your pants."
"I promise I won't."
Ari giggled but sighed deeply afterward. Her sudden change caused me to be a little bit anxious, knowing the truth might make me hate Zac or maybe hate myself for meeting him.
"Zac had a rough history, a lot of it revolves around his past love interest. Before this incident happens, he was a bright and happy kid. He's quite normal and never really sad."
She suddenly paused while her eyes got lost in the empty blank table in front of us.
"One day, he became quiet and reserved kid you know now."
"How?"
"He was in a love triangle."
"He likes someone?"
She snorted. "No, two different person likes him. Like... obsessed."
"What happened then?" My voice sounded more enthusiastic than I intended.
"One person became his arch-nemesis and the other..." She trailed off as if she's afraid to say it.
"Did he die?" I cut her off.
She nodded weakly. "He did."
"How?"
"Official statement said that it was suicide but some say he was... murdered."
"By Zac?"
"What?! No! It was the other guy."
"Who is this guy?"
Her eyes gaze in one direction, a particular figure. He was sitting there, chatting with the popular kids with a huge grin on his face.
"Number one in the ranks, Thomas Hathaway."