For a moment, I couldn't believe it. What on earth did I just hear? The parents I knew for my whole life turned out to be two strangers unrelated with me. I mean, what kind of joke was this?
I blinked hard, my mind was unable to process her words. Thinking so much about my parents triggered a rush of images and feelings, and I saw it all in my head. About my childhood memories. About my family. And about myself.
My parents gave me a name, Liu Huayu. Which mean "flower of jades". Sure enough, it was a pretty dork name like one from the 40s. When I was a kid, I often teased by my classmates because of that—and I rather hate it.
Mama used to tell me that my name took after two beautiful elements. Flower represented humbleness, and jade for nobility. Hearing such wonderful meaning I have for my name, I ended up loving it instead of hating. As simple as that.
The ringing in my head took me back on a rainy night when I was having a high fever. Baba was late from his work as a policeman, there was only Mama who took after me. She couldn't take me to the hospital because it was pouring hard. Although she said so, she went out to the nearest pharmacy to get me some medicines. She had promised me that she would come home before I knew it. So, I waited and waited and waited.
But she never returned.
Mama had been hit by a drunk driver, one of Baba's fellow policeman said. I was too young to see Mama's body, but Baba told me that she had died instantly. I remembered I was crying for days. The very first time I had a feeling as though someone had stabbed me in the chest. It was horrible. The fact of knowing the person who I love deeply was gone from this world. Obliterated by myself. I was the reason she was killed.
During the funeral, Baba told me that it wasn't my fault. Mama was going to a better place in heaven. So, I didn't need to feel guilty of it, and—
Argh! It was as though my head had struck by a lightning bolt. Another different images hit me at once. Too fast. Too overwhelming. Flashes of two women dressed in ancient Chinese formal wear. They were holding joss incense, kneeling in front of an altar. My ears echoed the sound of them taking their oaths.
"It doesn't matter if we were born on a different year, different month, or different day. But we're willing to die on the same year, same month, and same day. This lifetime and forever, we will always be sisters."
After saying that, both of them stared at each other, and let out muffled giggles.
What was this? This wasn't my memory...
A young woman with the facial features like Mama, was sitting high on a tree branch. Her robes were extravagant with golden glitters and peacock feathers. She was swaying her legs, as she said, "Yuhua, are all humans as funny as you? You always think of something that is very absurd."
"Thank you for the compliment, Princess Jingwei," replied the woman called Yuhua, who was resting her delicate hands on the table. She was writing or documenting on a wooden slip with a brush.
"Say, if I ever had the chance to travel to the Human World, you should be my guide."
"Of course. I'll introduce you to many delicacies there. All the food in the Sky Realm are too bland."
"Really?" She sounded surprised, "Even better than the seafood we tasted from Eastern Sea Palace?"
That Yuhua nodded. "It's the best, I can assure you."
Other fragmented thoughts and memories rushing inside my head. Bloodshed, screams, cries. I drew in a sharp breath to the horrifying view.
The image stopped at a deserted placed left me shivered. A big spurt of bright red blood. I glanced around, only finding more blood. Blood on the floor, blood on the walls. Men and women, young and old, piled at my feet. Oh dear God... The odor reached me as if I was there, the awful polluting stench of human flesh rotting. They were all dead. All of them.
Chills rolled down my back. The horror of it was too much.
"I'm taking that shard of heart with me." My ears twitched at her distant voice. Was it Mama's or that Jingwei's? I couldn't tell the difference. "I'll raise her."
My vision shifted to a blurry figure—a man dressed in black robe. I blinked, trying to clear my foggy head. Instead, I heard he spoke, his voice so quiet I could barely hear him. "It's the last of her. This time, I owe you."
"I'm not doing this because of you," she said firmly. "She's my best friend, and my sworn-sister. I'll do anything in my account to save her from you and all despicable people."
After finished her sentence, my eyes caught a glimpse of her turning into a bird with colorful patterns. She flew away, spreading her bright red wings and screeched on a pipping note.
"... Huayu?" The sound of my name snapped me out from my memories. My heart still pounded and grief still burned me. Sweat dripped down, it felt like my skull had been ripped apart.
"Huayu." She called me again as her hand about to reach for me.
"Don't touch me!" I sprang up in shock even before she could really touch me. "Don't! Just... don't come near me." I was shaking, trembling. What did I just see? What was all just now?
"Calm down. Look, I know it's hard to take all at once..." I didn't hear the rest of what she had said. She couldn't possibly know what had I saw. How I had almost felt like I was not feel myself. I didn't even know who I really was.
I had to get away from her! Without further thought, I staggered backwards. Half expected to come stumbling on the rocks, I collapsed and retched. I got up to find I was near the rim of the waterfall river.
I froze, catching a sight of my reflection. My messy hair didn't startle me. No, it was my wavy brown hair, the slim, brownish figure, and the wide deep brown eyes staring back at me from my reflection. She had my face but seemed so young and pretty. Someone had brushed gold on her eyelids. Someone had lined her eyes with black. A delicate golden hairpin on her hair with a ruby full of fire.
Cold dread filled the pit on my stomach. No, no, no... It couldn't be. Was that really me? The similarities were undeniable. Me and that woman from those memories. No, that woman wasn't me.
"Huayu," Jingwei's voice was tight, drawn. Something flickered in her expression. Pity. "You can hear me out."
"Who are you?" I asked, glaring at her. I felt fuzzy, unsteady.
She hesitated. "I'm Jingwei. Your mother—"
"Gibberish!" I said in a upbeat tone, cutting her off. "I don't even know who the bloody hell is Jingwei. My mother's name is Suijin Wei."
"I'm both Jingwei and Suijin Wei." With a wary eye on her, she walked closer to me. "One is my immortal name, and the other was the one I used during my days living as a human. Like you're Yuhua and Huayu at the same time."
"No," I assured her, and to myself as well. "First Jie Moshu, now you. Why do you all keep talking to me like I'm her? My name is Liu Huayu..."
She sighed. "Will you trust me? Just this one last time. I promise, you'll understand."
Surprisingly, I wasn't as revolting as before, giving her the chance to touch me. Her hand went through mine. Magic flared. A cool rush swept through me. Suddenly the air felt lighter. White light splayed out and licked me, seizing me into a hard fist. Then, I caught the sight of it.
That rainy night, I saw myself as a child lying hopelessly on the bed. It wasn't just a fever, there was a dark fog rising from my body. My lips were turning purple very contrast to my snow-white skin.
"That ultimate beauty is spreading fast, I can't just let her die like this. She haven't even reached the age of five yet." I heard Mama said.
"Jingwei, this is only the first symptoms." Baba explained, patting her shoulders. "Ever since she gained the form as a human child, I've been giving her supplies of godly herbs. It will help to delay those petals from falling."
"Then how can this happen? She's dying Xiuguang!" Her voice shook in fear. "No, there must be a way to help her. You're the King of Medicine, you can find a way to cure her, right?"
Baba hesitated. "There is a way—but Jingwei, you could die because of it."
"Just tell me, or don't blame for not considering you as my teacher."
Baba shook his head, shrugged. "Your mystic bird tribe's heart. It has the power to suppress the poison. Although I can't predict when the symptoms will reoccur, but she'd be healthy and fine for a long time."
"Even if it costs my life, I'll do it." Her face had that grim determination look. "Yuhua saved my life once. I wouldn't be here, if it wasn't for her. My life is hers to begin with. I'm only repaying my debt."
The room from that night faded. The grip of the magic released me, its pain an echo in my head. The foggy sight withdrew, revealing Mama—or I should call her Jingwei—beside me.
She suddenly knelt before me. "I swear by the Heavens—"
"Mama," I flushed, for a moment I forgot the anger inside me. "You don't have to kneel before me. I'm not worthy of it. Even after knowing you even sacrificed your life for me, you don't need to do this."
To my surprise, tears filled her eyes. "I owed her—Yuhua. She saved my life when I was on the brink of death, drowning in the depths of the Eastern Sea. And you're a part of her, I'm only repaying what should have been done." She paused as if giving her time to settle down her emotions, "The King of Medicine—your Baba and I, we never intended to lie to you. We wanted to give you the family you've always longed for, and we acted as one. But in those time raising you, we really fall in love you, both as a daughter and as an old friend."
A fresh wave of pain tore inside my heart. I gasped out of agony. "Then why are you telling me this now? When everything seems falling apart, why now?"
She gave me a thin smile.