I have no idea where any of my belongings are no phone, no purse, no car keys, but his keys are there gleaming in a bowl on a little table by the door, I shouldn't but I have no other option.
I know I shouldn't, I don't even want to, but I don't have any more options. 'you could stay.'
I grab the keys and slip silently out the door, I think I will always be regretful of the way I am leaving, but also knowing I will forever be grateful for this chance I had that I had tried desperately to grasp with both hands, only for it to slide out from my slippery palms.
I know not everyone gets the chance to fall in love, and that even thou mine was short-lived it will follow me in my heart for as long as I will live.
I shove my messy hair into his helmet and take off, my destination someplace I used to be comfortable enough to call home, I'm dreading seeing the burnt remains of my belongings; In my head, I can hear my mothers voice telling me, "Love leaves you nothing but two marks. One when you gain love and one when you lose it, and for obvious reason baby girl, the latter leaves a deeper mark, but wouldn't have such sadness without once feeling beautiful happiness cherish all that you feel."
I'm amazed that I managed to get home without having an accident, my hands are pale and numb, due to the pressure I used to keep my grip on the handlebars.
The smell in the parking lot alone was rancid, I was starting to lose hope that anything could be salvaged.
Carefully making my way up the narrow, burnt flight of stairs a sob clawed from my throat, everything that I owned and loved was gone, my mother's books, my clothes, all of my photos and now just piles of ash on the ground.
Amongst a pile of debris near my destroyed dresser, I find my mother's cross, I hold it to my heart before fastening the chain around my neck, I spare one last glance around the room, hold my head high and walk out.
At this point, I have two options, pack up and move again, or end this once and for all, And I had never thought of myself as someone who ran away.
By a pure miracle, my car was still parked there, just outside of the apartment complex completely untouched.
Knowing that this will be the first place Hunter will come to look for me, I grab a small piece of paper from my dashboard and write, 'I love you, too'
Torn between wanting to get as far from here as possible and a reluctance to go, I make my way over, carefully place the note in the helmet, before gently placing the helmet neatly on the seat.