Chereads / Sloth-kun is Bored / Chapter 6 - Ch 6: There’s a Loli in my Head

Chapter 6 - Ch 6: There’s a Loli in my Head

"Hey, Baby. Why are you here? You said you had to go see family?" An overgrown gorilla of a man with a bald head and beady black eyes lumbered over to where the two were sitting. "He don't look like family. Hey, bub, you trying to hit on my girl!" the gorilla growled at Hiro as he slammed one of his meaty fists down on the table, spilling both their drinks in the process.

"Samson!" Mayumi cried as her diet dr.popper spilled all over her.

"My bad, Baby. You know how it is. It is hard for me to control my strength." Samuel, Mayumi's dumb jock boyfriend, turned and apologized to her. "Here, let me clean you up." He said with a perverted gleam in his eyes as he looked at his soda soaked girlfriend. Grabbing a handful of napkins, he started pawing at her under the excuse of mopping up the drink.

"Stop!" Mayumi ordered, shoving herself back from him since he was too big for her to push away.

*Ugh* "Let me go to the restroom to clean this up." Mayumi said, shaking the droplets of soda off her arms. "I'll be right back." She said the last bit with a warning glare at Samson before turning to stomp off to the restroom in a huff murmuring under her breath about how her clothes were ruined.

"Now that my girl's gone, it's time for us to talk. Man to man like, you feel me. So, who the f*ck are you, and what the f*ck do you think you're doing with my girl?!" As soon as Mayumi was out of earshot, Samson rounded on Hiro and shoved his ugly mug into his face.

Hiro fought back the urge to laugh. Yesterday he might have been a little frightened by him. After all, despite everything he had experienced, he was just a normal human with a below-average physique, and being afraid of something that could hurt you wasn't cowardness in his book, but good survival instincts. But now, after experiencing the ferocious, if well-meaning, training of Kage and Erza and killing monsters every day for a week, this gorilla's bluster was laughable. The reason? Elementary, my dear Watson. Thanks to his Swift Learner, his combat ability had increased by leaps and bounds, and while his real-world body may not retain the muscle memory that his isekai body did, he did keep his memories, and to a lesser extent, his instincts that he had honed over there. In short, he was confident that this oaf wouldn't be able to touch him unless he allowed it. Causing a confident smirk to grace his lips as the fool tried to intimidate him.

A smirk that enraged Samson, "Huh!?! You got something to say, punk!!"

"Ooooohh. *clap clap clap* Bravo. Bravo, Bob. Excellent job. You correctly used a nine-letter word all by yourself. Excellent job. But be careful not to strain yourself. Such big words could hurt your lilliputian brain." Hiro openly mocked 'Bob'.

{*Snort*}

"Aah! You making fun of me!? My name is Samson, like the strong guy from the Bible, not Bob."

"No, you are Bob now. Samson is too good a name for you. Bob fits you better. Or would you prefer Billy-Bob?"

"YOU!!" the newly christened 'Bob' swung his ham-sized fist at Hiro's head, enraged at him ridiculing the name he was so proud of.

*Whiff* "Whoa" His swing missed as Hiro toppled over backward in his chair. Bob tried to kick the Japanese boy sprawled out on the ground but ended up running his shin full force into one of the pointed legs of the chair that Hiro had oh so casually lined up in his path when he 'accidentally' fell over.

*GYAAAAA* Bob screamed in pain. The old cheap metal chair had lost its foot sometime in the past, and the rusty metal pipe was now embedded in the muscular jock's leg. Bob collapsed from the pain and loss of strength in his leg. The chair embedded in his leg tried to follow. However, unfortunately, Hiro's weight still laying on the chair provided more force than the bit of skin, muscle, and meat that held the chair leg inside his flesh, resulting in a huge bloody gash being torn in his leg as the metal pipe was violently torn out. Ripping Bob's right shin to shreds. Such a brutal wound made it questionable if he would ever be able to walk normally again with all the muscular damage that had been inflicted, let alone play American football again, putting his scholarship and entire college career and future in jeopardy. All by a nobody who had seemingly done nothing more than fall backward in panic after a single punch.

"I'll kill you! I'll kill you!" The big man screamed as he rolled around on the ground, tears streaming down his face.

"Hey, hey. Careful now. *haaa* I warned you that you were going to hurt yourself. What am I going to do now? How am I supposed to answer to Mayumi for letting her boyfriend get hurt under my watch?" Hiro feigned concern as a crowd began to gather around.

"What happened here?" A uniformed mall cop arrived on the scene.

"He accidentally impaled himself on this chair leg when he was trying to kick me. Could you call an ambulance for him?" Hiro explained with a straight face.

"Oh? He seems pretty mad at you. You sure it was an accident?" The cop questioned with narrowed eyes.

"I'm his girlfriend's childhood friend." Hiro explained with a shrug, "He caught us while we were out shopping together and thought we were on a date. Honestly, we tried it during high school, but we both decided we were better off as friends." The cop and the crowd surrounding them nodded in understanding and turned eyes that were either pitiful, disdainful, or mocking on the miniature giant rolling around on the floor. Still clutching his bloody leg and spewing obscenities at Hiro, Mayumi, the cop, the crowd, and everyone he had or hadn't ever known.

{*BuAhaha* This is hilarious! The poor kid! *Bahahahaha* Crippled in front of all these witnesses, and he gets the blame for it. *Ahahaha* I underestimated you, NEET.}

Those gazes got even more intense as Mayumi returned shortly before the paramedics. Everyone thought that the overpainted, pudgy, plain girl wasn't worth all the fuss the wailing baldy had been making.

"Samson!? What happened?! Are you okay!?" Mayumi cried out in surprise when she saw the state of her boyfriend. She crouched down to try and assess his condition and at least comfort him. However, the manly linebacker wanted none of that and shoved her away.

"Get away from me, you stupid b*tch! Do I look okay!? *Gyaah* This is all your fault!" Thankfully at this point, the paramedics arrived. They gave the raging bull some sedatives to calm him down and numb the pain as they worked quickly to stabilize his leg and staunch the bleeding that had already left a not so small puddle of scarlet blood on the checkered floor tiles of the food court. When they wheeled him out on a gurney to take him to the hospital, Mayumi hesitated for a bit, looking between her childhood friend and her boyfriend before hurrying after the paramedics. She was technically his girlfriend, after all.

With the show now over, the crowd quickly dispersed. Hiro gathered up both their shopping bags and called for a cab to drive him home. He still had several things to do today before he returned to the other world, starting with this voice in his head.

[So, you going to tell me who you are and how you got into my head?]

{...}

[OI! I know you can hear me. You've been reacting to my thoughts, actions, and even the actions of those around me. I know you are reading my mind right now!]

{*snore*}

[Satan damn you, Susie! I know it's you, you slothful archdemoness!]

{Language human. *Shishishi* but thank you for the compliment.}

[Whatever! How in the nine hells did you get in my head, demon? You are supposed to need permission to do that!]

{Oh, but you did give me permission. Don't you remember?}

[No!]

{*Shishi* It was when you asked me to give your waifus their templet's skills.}

[You said that was a freebie! That it fit their personalities!]

{I did indeed say that I would throw it in, but I never said anything about it being free. Seriously, I thought you had some idea about how the supernatural world worked. Nobody gets anything for free. Least of all from a demon.}

[F my life.]

{*Shishishishi* Get used to it NEET. You're stuck with me for life. Or at least until I get bored with you and decide to isekai someone new to start a new series.}

Hiro mentally flipped the demoness the bird as he opened his apartment door. Deciding to ignore the snickering, gloating voice ringing in his head, he sat down in front of his computer and got to work. That week-long training session without sleep had seriously thrown his initial plan out of whack. Initially, he would have immediately returned to this world and began researching some of the tips and tricks available online on how to survive and thrive in the wild. Instead, they had had to try and figure things out for themselves, an endeavor that had produced less than ideal results.

His taigon trophy head had started to decay, and he was now left with just a skull and a scattering of loose teeth. Food was also a problem. Not in availability, the girl's hunting skills and his knowledge of botany had provided amply in that regard. However, tasty food was a necessity for a happy life, especially with how much he ate. While the food they had been eating was undoubtedly edible, that was about the best he could say about it.

Then there was improving their grotto shelter, starting with a bed, predicting future problems that would arise as the seasons changed and preparing for them, and, of course, figuring out how to get the maximum out of the abundance of natural resources around them. In short, Hiro had a lot of research and studying to do if he wanted to get the most out of his new isekai life. Without the benefit of his Swift Learner or even being able to take a notebook with him, this was promising to be a long term project with no end in sight.

At least their equipment was all of indestructible legendary quality, so they didn't have to worry about their clothes wearing out. However, nobody, least of all women, liked to wear the same clothes day in and day out. So, while it was a secondary priority, Hiro did want to learn how to sew and tan leather and furs to make Erza, Kagetora, and himself something else to wear.

[No time like the present. Better get started.] Hiro cracked his fingers as his PC finished booting up and prepared to get to work

{You sure about that? This pigsty you call home is worse than the grotto cave.}

Hiro looked around at the full trash bags, scraps of food, and discarded dirty clothes that littered the apartment. His nose wrinkled in disgust. It hadn't bothered him that much until someone pointed it out, but now that they had.

"Ugh. Alright, let's make this place habitable first, I guess." With much reluctance, Hiro stood up again and began doing something he hadn't done in at least 10 months. Cleaning. 2 hours later, the place wasn't sparkling, but the trash was gone, the dead light bulbs had been replaced, his dirty clothes had been pack in plastic bags to be taken to the laundromat down the street, the rotting food had been cleaned out of his fridge and off his floor, and the crumbs had mostly been vacuumed up. The place at least looked like a bachelor pad now instead of a dump.

"Ok. Now let's get to work." Hiro once again sat down to begin his research, and this time the voice in his head was mercifully quiet.