Dorian lowered the flashlight at last. "Charlie Sivan?"
He got off the snow, stepping forward. "Yes ma'am. I've come to see Carlie,"
"Don't you think it's a little too early to be delivering the mail? Or you came for something else??"
"Oh Dorian, what's with the interrogation?" I winked up at her. "Charlie just slung by to say hi. Nothing more. I'll be up in a few,"
She smiled momentarily, disappearing back in.
Charlie frowned, turning to me. "That was odd. She's not normally hostile. You do know you're not leaving yet don't you?"
I looked up at the clearing sky. "It's almost morning. I'll have to turn in soon to survive the day."
"So you agree to it?"
Now it was my turn to frown. "What are you talking about?"
"I'm asking you on a date," he fell to his knees and dug out a rose from his breast pocket. "Cliche, I know and it seems crazy but it is what it is."
I sat in an unbelievable shock. No. It can't be. This was cruel teasing. What sort of a wicked dream is this?
I let the tears fall, not bothering to conceal it from him.
"What's wrong?" he inquired, wiping my teardrops off with his index finger. "Was it something I said? Of course, I'll let you say no if you don't want to do this yet,"
"It's not that, it's just... I can't decide if this is happening or not."
He nodded in understanding. "I get what you mean. But I want you to know that whatever I'm doing, I mean it."
"I've never doubted you. But now, I'm just confused."
"Breathe Carlie. Just keep breathing and breathing until you become so sure if it's true or not."
☃️☃️⛄⛄
On Christmas morning, I looked over my reflection in the mirror and sighed — satisfied. Luckily, I'd reserved a bright new yellow jacket for a day like this so I wore that together with a blue jumper and flat sneakers.
"Oh my God, just look at you! A chip off the old block. I've never seen you dress any better. You look lit!" Carter exclaimed, partly submerged beneath piles of romance novels. They had increased over time. Sometimes one or two appearing each day. "He'll be here in a minute, no? Oh, Carlie, I'm so happy for you!"
I grinned broadly as I sauntered over to the window ledge to take a peak out. Just then I zeroed in on his car coming up the street. "He's here,"
I drew the curtains closed, then moved to the door. "You'll be here till I get back right?"
"Of course I will now face this head-on. And don't forget to smile."
—
Downstairs, the surfaces sparkled like newly bought China. Dorian sat on her knees, rounding up her business with the Christmas tree with Sidney helping out. Both hadn't noticed me walk past until I opened the door. "Carlie?" Sidney called, looking shocked when I whirled around to face her. "Where are you going?"
I bit my lip, not wanting to let her know anything. She could get upset if she found out that Charlie was here, moreso taking me out with him. "Er..."
"You're dressed for a function," She remarked sternly. "We're going out for Dinner at Mr. Tom's, not breakfast in case you don't recall."
"I'm aware," I replied calmly. "It's a date. I'm going on a date with Charlie."
She looked blank for a moment like she'd just been giving the cruelest shock. "A date?"
I nodded quickly, twisted the doorknob, and slid unto the porch. "See you later sis"
Charlie beamed at me through the freeze, looking good as usual in a black turtleneck shirt worn over tight-fitting blue jeans. I took him by the arm before he could say anything, then leaned in for a kiss. He pulled back briefly, perhaps feeling awkward. "You look smashing, I must say."
"The perks of the festive season," I commented, slipping into the sedan. It looked clean like last time. "So where are we heading to?" I asked as he fell into place behind the wheel.
"Why don't we find out huh?"
—
It happened to be a reunion party held on behalf of Gin and Freddie and the consummation of their engagement. It was held down at Bald Rope, in the open air with lots of chairs, candy, paper plates, and funny looking stewards. The couple stood at the entrance of the ceremony, looking neat in stiff outfits as they welcomed guests. Gin trotted off the landing at once, pulling me into a tight hug. Freddie smiled, coming after her to shake hands with Charlie.
"Bro, I'm happy for you both." he was told him. Giving me a fist bump, he remarked. "Wow, Carlie. Seems to me that you made it to the bottom of the food chain. How lucky you are."
I raised a brow — confused. "Okay?"
Gin laughed, swatting my arm. "Don't mind him. What he meant was that you were finally able to have Charlie after so long. Let's go in now."
The spotlight gradually settled on us as we walked in and at the last minute, I gave Charlie's arm a small squeeze. People stared at us, turning to whisper among themselves. I recognized some as it became daunting to expect a reaction — either positive or negative.
Charlie led me to the bar, already too indifferent to care. He called for two bottles of lemon drop, planting a brief kiss on my lips. My heartbeat rate returned to normal.
There was only one thing I cared about other than solitude, family, or a hateful crowd.
Charlie Sivan. And I was ready to give up all for him.
The party wore on till noon with the crowd adjusting to us. It felt warm to socialize with the young girls and talk about relationships and ways to buy our ways into the stone hearts of our men. At one-thirty, Charlie whispered into my ear. "You ready to go?"
I paused mid-sentence, smiling up into his face to kiss him. He held me down, elongating the duration, our lips perfectly in sync as the females swooned noisily.
"I'd love to."
We said our goodbyes to Gin and Freddie who were all but sorry to see us leave. They bade us farewell and saw us off.
We drove down to Kisses where we had ice cream while glancing out at the bursting town with clear windows decked in boughs of holly. It was a Christmas unlike any other, a season I'd always look back on to relive again.
"I plan to spend the whole day with you," he rubbed on my thumb softly, picking at the warm pie on the small-sized table. "Unless you've got other plans, I hope not."
"I've got nothing doing back home, just a small dinner at a family friend's."
"I should get you home soon then, but first let's enjoy what we've got so far."
"I've never gotten to be this free, this alive! I must thank you for bringing me out today."
"The pleasure is mine," he pecked my cheek.
"Tell me, do you have any siblings? Or a family outside Bald Slope?"
This wasn't safe, I knew I was treading a dangerous path; trying to get something out of him. But I'm not to blame here, am I? Carter could be lying.
"Yes, at the Sierras. Why do you ask?"
"Well, don't you get lonely sometimes? I've known you to live alone for three and a half years now so I was just wondering. Don't tell me if you don't feel like it."
He sighed. "I want to Carlie, I do. It's just that I can't go back to them yet"
"Why?"
"I've done something. And it's not redeemable. I may look good, that's how you see me but I'm just an asshole."
We both lapsed into silence, idly watching the small crowds outside. I snaked a finger on his inner arm. "We all screw up all the time. I'm sure it's forgivable. What happened?"
He winced, as though in pain or dread at the recollection of a memory. "My younger brother...he left. And it's because of me."
I blinked in fright, finger stopping cold midway. He wasn't lying. He wasn't.
Charlie shook his head as if to push the thoughts back. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't burden you with my mess. Let's talk about other things."
I shrugged in acquiesce. "Okay,"
"So," he began. "If we got married where would you want us to live?"
"Why, I'd say New York. I heard it's a great place, and it's big with lots of people..."
"Wait... you don't want to live here?"
"I hate this place. I'd live anywhere better. Anywhere safe."
"But what about your family?"
I considered this. "Father has Dorian to take care of him. It's too early to tell if he loves her but I can tell Dorian does. And that alone is a guarantee she'd keep trying to win him over. Sidney will be just fine."
"You sure? You're not gonna miss them or become homesick??" he grinned.
"Of course not. I'm not a child and your brother," I stopped for effect. "He's forgiven you."